Sex before Marriage?

The assumption that you must be deeply in love with someone to have sex is a crock. We have a preacher who stands infront of one of the buildings here on my campus and spews a full day sermon every week day while students enter and exit. What he said I'll never forget,

"If you claim to be in love and use it as an excuse to have sex or have sex as part of a loving relationship you are kidding yourself. You're just trying to get each other off. That's all sex is. It's basic and primal and you do it to feel good."

He then went on to talk about how sex is trivial and pointless and it doesn't mean anything so why not save it for marriage? Well, in my opinion his advice backfired. Sex IS about getting each other off, that's all it is. You don't need to be in love to enjoy it. Just do it. Have as much sex as you want, it doesn't mean anything. So have fun and feel good, that's my advice. Don't save it, when you finally have sex you'll know what I'm talking about. You'll say to yourself, "what the hell is the big deal with this." That's what you'll think to yourself, I know it.

Insite- very funny.

On a serious note though Aids is affecting the teen demographic significantly. So having sex is fine but be responsible. Feelings are also something to take into account. Sex is a good feeling, but emotions become attached. So if you are even asking what you should or should not do, you are probably not ready. I'd wait until you are with someone you trust and are in love with. Sex is much better when you are in love.

hm... just lose it when u feel that he's the one : )
i'm 22, a christian, i've had several relationships before, but i still haven't had sex. not because im against PMS, it's just that i didn't/ couldn't feel that they truely loved me. well, i'm still waiting for the right man to come : ) i want to know how it feels like to make love to the person you really love : ) hm...

I had sex before marriage. With two people. One was my dear friend, and we still are very good friends. We realized after our sexual relations that we had too good of a friendship to ruin it with a complicated relationship. I still have some regrets with that decision.

The other is the man I am with now. We had sex on the first date, and it blossomed into a beautiful relationship.

So, do what feels right. And be safe.

OK Boys and Girls,
Here's a thought from an Atheist Feminist who's had plenty of men and plenty of sex (and is considered very good at it too).

Sex is THE MOST over rated thing ever! For the most part, its boring. Various religious ideologies forbid it to get you to do it all the more! Its a very sneaky psychological trick; trust me, I studied Comparitive Religion in college. Use this as an analogy: How did you feel about drinking when underaged? Then think about how you felt about drinking, say 5 years after you legally could.

Advertisers use sex as a selling tool. The people who talk about sex the most are the ones who get the least.

Once you're with a person for an extended period of time - sex is BORING.

And girls, if men say they gotta have sex because of testosterone-that's why they have a high sex drive- this is total BS! I have as much testosterone as a man (had a hormone scan) and I rarely think about sex. They are obsessed with it due to adverts effects on their brains. Also, if guys can sport screw before marriage, then so can girls!

Hey, I'm a hard-core feminist, so. Do what you want to do, USE PROTECTION!
I would watch out for the 'wait til marriage' because you may wind up with someone who's a kinko and not find out 'til its too late. My mom told me such a story when I was young- lucky me had open minded folks.

And do watch out for everybody: I've got a friend who has HIV. He got it from a guy who lied to him about everything! The guy was leading a double life-he wasn't even all-the-way gay-had a wife and kids and everything. Well my friend found out too late.

Ah, in some ways I'm glad I'm an Anti-Social Loner!!!!!!!

Here's a joke for all: What does the Mistress say?- 'More, More!" What does the Hooker say?- "Time's up!" What does the Wife say? "Looks like the ceiling needs painting again!"

There's truth in humor! Sex is Boring!

Well,
Opinions are free, which means they are worthless.
Truth is so rare, it is priceless.

What all people would be wise in doing is, understanding what truth is, and following that wisdom. Once your virginity is gone, it is forever. So, some may think it is worthless, this is their choice. Purity is a gift, that can be maintained in marriage. When two people have intercourse, their is a mixing of the flesh, you are bonded, by that intercourse, when this happens in marriage, it is a wonderful thing. A blessing from God, when done outside of marriage, it loses it meaning, and becomes empty, and the Atheist Feminist, confirms.
Fornication is sex outside of marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

1 Corinthians 6:15-16 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

Although, the enemies of God teach contrariwise, God has created us with a nature. Should you commit the act of fornication, you will lose your purity, and sin against your body and God. You will also cause another to fall into sin. Not only this but, you gain nothing in marriage, some here have said, learn first! Tell me how did, you learn if not for the first time? How hard is it for you to put a round peg and I round hole, that you are in need of learning? The beauty of waiting will be many fold, learning together, will more enjoyable, than being tired, and board of fornication, when you finally get to marriage.
When people have sex the emotions fly, and burn, when your relationship ends you will have scars, that you will bring into your marriage, for what cause, some fleshly pleasure? Tisk Tisk. Be a real Man and stand up against the tide, and wait, they will never know the joys of waiting. It is your choice.

Not having sex before marriage is like buying a car without going for a test drive.... Seriously. Sex isn't everything, but intimacy is an important part of a relationship nonetheless, and you have to be sure you two are compatible in this way as well. You don't want to find out you two are lousy in the sack with each other after the wedding vows. That does neither of you any good.

Likewise, getting married before living together first is also a big mistake imho... When you live with someone, you REALLY get to know who they are, and this is important to know before making what should be a lifelong committment.

I know it's not "traditional", but I'm betting that I'll stay married till we're old and gray...not till getting divorced...

Sex IS about getting each other off, that's all it is. You don't need to be in love to enjoy it. Just do it. Have as much sex as you want, it doesn't mean anything. So have fun and feel good, that's my advice.

Have to disagree here, there's a BIG difference between making love and having sex. The emotional component of love making is nothing trivial....

[edit on 5-4-2005 by Gazrok]

This started over a year ago but since others are adding to it I think I will. We can become desensitized to many things after experiencing it. Violence in games, movies and TV are an example. Sex is also.

Along with sex, emotions are involved. You are giving up an emotional part of you during the act also. That part was never meant to go through the ups and downs of breaking up time after time after time after time over and over and over and over repeatedly with different partners. Emotions can become numb and not be able to be fully trusted. It is best to wait till marriage, and have both people become fully committed to each other.

People want to be guenuinely loved. Give and receive it. You need to make sure that you have met the right person. 99% of your time with that person will not be spent having sex, instead you will be strengthening a relationship and keep it growing over the years.

Lets say 2 people were attracted to each other and they enjoyed being together and doing things together and they got married. One of the people got into an accident and because of this accident it was not possible to have sex anymore. If your relationship is built on sex you won't last people will get hurt and kids will get hurt, if your relationship is built on LOVE, and TRUST, and FAITHFULNESS, and JOY you will make it. You will learn what faithfulness really means, you will learn what self-control really means. You will also learn what joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness. But most of all you will learn what it really means to love and be loved.

Now remove the accident and wouldn't you want to have this with your partner anyway.

And especially for people who have daughters. Would you want your daughter to be someone's "kicks" for awhile and then discarded. Of course you wouldn't, if you said yes, your not being truthful.

SO BE AN EXAMPLE!

And to guys I would say this you have the main responsibilty to be the instigator for having feelings of trust and love and faithfulness, etc. to develope between you and the girl you say you care about. Since that is the case you have a huge responsibility.

I waited until after my 21st b-day to lose my virginity.
I had my first kiss when I was 19.

I am not married. I wish I had waited for marriage. You get emotionally attached to your first partner....and with most women, they get attached to EVERY SINGLE PARTNER. I've had 5 so far....and each one yanks at my heart, where before I slept with them, I didn't care what happened to them. It sucks, especially since at least 2 are deamam queens of diffrent genders. Again, I wish I was still a virgin.

Originally posted by jlc163

I am not married. I wish I had waited for marriage. You get emotionally attached to your first partner....and with most women, they get attached to EVERY SINGLE PARTNER. I've had 5 so far....and each one yanks at my heart, where before I slept with them, I didn't care what happened to them. It sucks, especially since at least 2 are deamam queens of diffrent genders. Again, I wish I was still a virgin.

I want to let you know that through Christ someone can heal and start over. Physically you can never regain virginity. But you can regain it spiritually and work on gaining it emotionally, but and I stress it can only be done with God's help and someone who is will ing to make that committment with you to abstain until marriage

Thanks.....

I may mourn for it, but I have grown quite a thick skin over it.....

To whoever said that women 'get attached to every single partner' , Ha ! I don't think so!

Sex is just an act like changing the oil in your car.

And all us women know that you men are always looking for something better. Thinner. With bigger tits.

Sex is NOTHING! Because none of us is EVER good enough.

Life is WAR

Your emotions are wrapped up in the Swimsuit Issue and your Mama. Don't you think we
know this?

Oh and all the religious crap: thats a lie. We all do what we want anyway. And you KNOW what you truly want is F*cktoy Mama. None of us is good enough, thats all the emotion you have, and you just wanna f*ck. So have at it then. If you can't get your classmate, get a whore. Thats all it is anyway.
And PS: all religion is a lie, anyway! If this is the only way you can conjure "feelings", well best of luck to you and your imaginary friend.

[edit on 7-4-2005 by Niki]

Originally posted by EricFM
I was just wondering how many of you older folk actually waited until marriage.Im a teen still trying to make that decision. Were you happier after you did? How many of you didn't wait? Are you happy with current marriage? I just wanted to see this from the point of view ofsomeone who's already been there.

Hi, I'll be honest, I didn't wait. But i was never a 'promiscuous person...can count on 2 fingers the amount of partners I had.
Now, if I was a teen today I think I would wait, specifically because of Aids!
To answer your other question , no...I was not happy, I mean it was the man I am married to and I love him with my heart, but it made me feel bad about myself afterwards. I felt like I let myself down and my parents, and most of all even though you have that urfe, I felt very embarrassed and felt as if I were a loose person because I did do it.
While you may love the person you are with with your entire heart and soul, it just does not feel right afterwards, this is coming from a 41 year old woman, and who knows you may feel different and I don't know if you are male or a female. So a male may feel entirely different about sex before marriage than a woman.