what is wrong with people!!

Really in regards to this situation I feel it to be a valid question..
What has happened to compassion, empathy, personal responsibility and care for your fellow human being. I know the story that follows is sort of long but it somes up the attitude that seems to be all to prevalent in the world today.

It has been raining here all week not heavily just a steady blah kind of rain. Wednesday evening around 4:30 my husband came tearing into the bedroom where I was hiding for a few minutes because the dogs a kids had been cooped and driving me crazy.

He yelled call "911 while i go check on him" even though I was 4 feet from him. Immediately my heart drops and my stomach was in my throat thinking my son had finally done the triple gainer off the couch and into the coffee table since he wont stop sitting upside down on the arm of the couch :~.

Instead I hear my son yell mom he's hit, which brings back memories of my beloved dog being hit by a car last weekend and I am immediately on the verge of panic over that.

Well I run out the front door and there is lady stopped in the street in front of our house trying to clean up a head wound on man sitting in her passenger seat.

Not knowing what was going on I called 911 and told them it was medical asked him a few questions about blood thinners etc and gave them directions. I then handed over the phone to my husband who finished talking to 911 while I ran inside to get rubber gloves and a roll of paper towels.

I got back outside and knelt by the man and told him we had called 911 and help would be there soon.

The ladies response was SH*****!! obviously she did not want authorities involved. She was likely around 65 and otherwise I would have taken her for a grandmotherly sort.

she then left her caring for him to check the front of the car for damage I assume.

I kept trying to comfort him and asked if there was anyone I could call for him, where was he headed, did anything else hurt etc and couldnt get a straight answer to anything as well as him shaking.
at the time I though he was going into shock so I put my sweatshirt over his legs and simply stood there talking about who knows what and held the umbrella until the help could arrive.

We later found out he was mentally handicapped and had taken the wrong stop so he was walking the rest of the way home through the neighborhood. the EMTs gave him a butterfly bandage and found his phone number in wallet to his dad came to take him to get stiches at a non emergency place.

He is ok though I actually saw him walking this afternoon, thank goodness.

But here is what really bothered me about the whole thing.

1. why are you going fast enough to hit someone in a neighborhood in the rain, much less someone in a bright blue shirt with a GIANT! black and white umbrella. the corner we live on is a 4 way stop, once again how did you not see him!!

2. she was not upset at until she knew we called 911, I know people show their emotions differently but there was not a single sign of guilt or fear or worry or panic at the fact that she just hit someone with her car.
quite honestly If I was careless enough to hit someone with my car they would likely have to take me to the hospital too because I would be so upset by the whole thing, or at least shoot me up with some valium or something.

3. After all that she muttered something under her breath when I put on gloves before helping to wipe the blood from his eye and mouth. Like I was being the rude one for not wanting his blood on my hand
number one I dont want to introduce pathogens to his wound and number two I dont know this person, and had a fresh cut from a tuna can on my hand...not trying to infect myself over this man when a simple precaution is easy enough to take.

4. She knew he was mentally handicapped and was trying to take advantage of the situation.

5. after he was in the ambulance both my son and my neighbors daughter who are 7 and in the same class were standing on my front porch looking horrified at the whole thing.

We asked the firefighters if they could come see the truck which brightened up both the firemen and the kids. They even let them touch the siren button for a minute.

Both kids were scared out of their wits by the commotion and the fact that someone had been hit by a car. ( to be honest my son probably also secretly hoped to see some gore because he is a little boy and is into that stuff in an abstract way lol)
She scowled the entire time the kids were seeing the truck, maybe 5 minutes total before they were sent back inside. this was while the police were inside the ambulance and then talking to the other firefighters, we weren't affecting her in any way and two 7 yr olds are hardly a scene or a commotion.

6. the entire time the firefighters Emsa and police were there she acted like it was a complete waste of her time, did not ask about the condition of the man and made the police officer stand in the rain at the window of her car while she talked on the phone for a good 5 minutes. He must be an incredibly patient man!!

I hate to break this news to you, but some people are what they call Sociopaths. Actually, the statistics are around 1 in 10 people are sociopaths if I am correct. These people don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. It is a long time classified and well documented physchological condition. These people feel no guilt for their actions because they have no connection to careing about other people.

Because she is a sociopath, the only thing that got her concerned was the fact that “she” might be inconvienienced by the appearance or involvement of the police. Being that you are a mother of two children I find it hard to believe that you actually don’t know about this psychological condition.

In my view, your post, while seemingly innocent, is nothing of the sort. This is simply your detracted way of calling someone out for bieng a sociopath by letting me do all the work instead of you. You did this so that you would remain on the high, and innocent ground, while we all played patsy to your detracted feelings of superiority. I for one don’t appreciate it.

In essence, your post tells as much about you as it does this sociopath that you have presented for others to trash. This post highlights that you are a coward at heart for not calling a spade a spade yourself, and instead attempted to trick others to do it for you. It also highlights that you are someone who likes to deny the truths of life around them until you can find some safe place in which to vent.

Did you confront her at the scene? Did you tell the police your observations? Probably not because that would have taken courage on your part. You know full well why this woman did what she did and what kind of person that she was. That’s why you posted this in the Psychology thread, and not some other board on the forum.

I say these things to you to expose to others what your really doing with this post because obviosuly this tactic has worked for you many times before. But I also say these things because I feel that you would be the kind of person who commits the greates sin of all, the sin of indifference.

By not confronting that woman directly, you allowed her to continue to remain indiffernt to the suffering that she has caused others. You did not call her out, like I have you right now. This is why I say these things. It is because you are the one who is not a sociopath and you are the one who has any hope of changing your ways.

I hope that you stop voicing your matters from the third person hoping that someone else will fight your battles for you.

[edit on 14-9-2008 by Hot_Wings]

Im sorry I have offended your sensibilities. This is a forum for psychology and philosophy and I personally see the loss of empathy and caring as one of the major issues affecting us as humans today.

The very fact that 1 in 10 people are considered to be sociopathic speaks to a problem in our culture and society.

I am no angel, I am far from it, and if I sounded as if I was on a high horse it was not on purpose, yes the situation angered me, but only because of the utter lack of humanity she showed in this situation.

I fully realize who and what she was, the world is a cold and mean place, but its not quite so often such a dramatic and obvious example of it lands right in our front yard. I try hard to surround my home and family, especially my son with positive people and love.

Yes in fact we did make very sure the police were aware that she had no intention of calling for help and was instead going to try to simply take him home.

No I did not confront her at the scene except to make clear that 911 was called and there wasnt a choice in the matter. Frankly at the time she wasnt my main concern.

And I must ask where indifference comes into this equation, indifference would have been taking a cursory glance out the window and doing nothing, waiting for someone else to help.

indifference would have been leaving a man bleeding in the street to let someone else to deal with...or perhaps checking my car for damage rather than checking the man for damage~

[edit on 14-9-2008 by gluetrap]

[edit on 14-9-2008 by gluetrap]

Well I think she was scared whether the police would have arrested her or called her for an enquiry, it always happens in that situation, but glad to hear the man was fine.

In fact, by remaining calm she was doing the right thing.

I wouldn't dream of classifying anyone sociopathic from a single incident described by a third person.

Well I run out the front door and there is lady stopped in the street in front of our house trying to clean up a head wound on man sitting in her passenger seat.

So she was helping him? He's sitting in her car? Doesn't sound like doing nothing at all to me. So you arrive on the scene and suddenly it's oh my god you're bleeding this is the worst thing that could possibly happen call 911 call the ambulance! call the police! call the fire brigade!


Why wait for the ambulance? He's conscious! He can walk and talk! Otherwise how did he get from the road to the passenger seat? He has a bad cut on his head, and some minor shock. If the lady wasn't g oing to drive him to the ER, you should've offered. If the lady refused and he wouldn't go with you, THEN call 911, because there's something else going on with the state of his injuries/health.

People deal with shock often in very different ways. Her way was by staying calm and not indulging in freaking out. High emotion is worse than useless in that situation, it's actually detrimental to a good outcome. You say you couldn't help but be that way. Well, ok, just so long as you know that it doesn't help anything and saying sorry afterwards just doesn't cut it.




It's very easy not to see a pedestrian in the rain, regardless of how they are dressed.

Wednesday evening around 4:30 my husband came tearing into the bedroom where I was hiding for a few minutes because the dogs a kids had been cooped and driving me crazy.

When something drives you crazy you do something about it, you say something about it, or even write it in a letter to your husband. You put the dogs outside, in the back or wherever.


You have dogs and kids inside when it's raining? And you hide in your own house because it drives you crazy? Do you know how frequently children are attacked by a loved family pet in this situation? How would you go for valium then? Especially if they are big dogs and you are communicating frustration and anger. Ma'am that is not at all a wise thing to do.

which brings back memories of my beloved dog being hit by a car last weekend and I am immediately on the verge of panic over that.

I'm sorry, you sound very much like someone who doesn't know how to look after a dog. Why is your dog allowed to just walk around outside on the road? You've projected your own values and human intelligence on to your dogs.

Wow hotwings that was incredibly offensive. Out front calling someone a sociopath, i certainly would not take that crap (and that's all it is). The fact that gluetrap is a mother helps prove that she wanted the best care for an injured person, especially when it involves a person with lacking mental capabilities. I say this for the sole reasons my mother has proven to me.

To be able to see such wicked detail in that story is honestly quite disturbing. But enough about you, don't wanna waste too much brain power on you!!

Gluetrap, i feel for you. As a recent high school graduate i was often disgusted at the behavior of most students. They have been so dulled to the point where empathy is completely out of their lives. It just shows how awful times truly are.

I'll share an experience my brother had to help get my point across: my brother was on his way back to work after grabbing a bite for lunch. He was in a left turn lane behind a construction truck i believe. The truck took too sharp of a turn and the truck rolled. My brother put his car in park and ran towards the truck, an off duty police officer rushed towards the truck as well with a heavy duty flashlight. The officer smashed out the window and both the officer and my brother helped the driver out of the car. Here's where i get concerned. 1 person called 911! At such a busy intersection where he was at, there must have been at least 50 cars. How can you have the "drive faster" instinct over the "I have to help" instinct? I have never been able to turn away from something like this or see a negative side to something like this or your story. It's simply incredible.

There is truly something wrong with people nowadays.

Edit to add: i'm rather appalled at underminds entire post. First off, where was Valium brought up at? second, some people (certainly not all) would more rather have a dog who is use to using the grass or rocks in their backyard rather than old newspapers in their house. I know, i know, it's a senile thought but if you look deep enough, you'll see that it's to help prevent stains smell and hair. i know crazy right! Thirdly, you are OBVIOUSLY not a parent because if you have more than one kid you will easily know that they can easily drive you up the wall and back. A dog does no help either. If you are a parent, try being more around your kids, they are lacking your attention. Some parents need a 5 minute escape, not everyone can be a wonder parent.

[edit on 14-9-2008 by screamo]

My husband was in the front room with my son and the dogs, I was taking a 10 minute break to center myself before I had to go to work. It is perfectly allowable as a parent to leave the child with the other parent and take a small break.

My son is never left alone with the dogs, big dogs and small children are an accident waiting to happen.

My dogs are also well cared for, but thank you for the concern, he managed to open a closed door and scale a 7 foot chain link fence at about 6 am before we were up for the day.
His name should have been houdini.

When your husband comes in running and yells call 911 your heart skips a few beats.

The man was obviously able to be helped up and into the car,
a bandaid, single napkin and trying to put his broken glasses on his face wasnt exactly going to cut it, his entire face front of his shirt were bloody and a mess.

He was not able to answer questions such as "are you hurt anywhere else" "do you want me to call someone" "are you on blood thinners?"
there was no response to the questions, he just sat in the seat and shook.

He was also the color of the paper towels and shaking like leaf, all symptoms of possibly going into shock

How dare we call an ambulance!

2. she was not upset at until she knew we called 911, I know people show their emotions differently but there was not a single sign of guilt or fear or worry or panic at the fact that she just hit someone with her car. quite honestly If I was careless enough to hit someone with my car they would likely have to take me to the hospital too because I would be so upset by the whole thing, or at least shoot me up with some valium or something.

This is very common these days. Its very possible that the lady did not have car insurance or maybe she did not have car inspection stickers posted, etc.

Remember when you call 911 regardless of the reason, the first person that responds is wearing a badge on their chest and a Glock on their hip. At least thats how it is here, the cops always respond first and thats a + since our officers are all trained as EMTs and some even have paramedic status as well.

edited to add,
I missed this somehow the first time
what does valium or communicating with anger have a darn thing to do with anything. As a parent a 5 or 10 minute break in a different room can save your sanity and the feelings of your children.

Yes I have kids and dogs in the house all the damn time, but generally they all get to go outside and run and play and get out excess energy, when it has been raining for a week straight everyone gets cabin fever.


reply to post by ChrisF231


Firefighters respond first here, for every single call.

I would have been scared to death of the cops in that situation too, but if you hit a human being with your car you should do the right thing regardless~

[edit on 14-9-2008 by gluetrap]

reply to post by Hot_Wings

I hate to break this news to you, but some people are what they call Sociopaths.

Jeah, and I think I know who they are, nice you could drop in and discuss this. Why do you act so superior and insulting in your posts?

[edit on 19/9/08 by enigmania]

I would call it old battleaxe syndrome. There exists some very cold, cunning, and deviant sorts out there. Her only thought was about her insurance rates.

She didn't want to lose her drivers license, or yeah, even her insurance rate increase.
And also because she was tending to the victim she maybe felt she had it all under control and felt humiliated, and failed to avoid embarrassment, that YOU had to make a mountain out of a molehill and make her day too dramatic, in her opinion.

Personally, I hate it when I feel competent in a job or a task and someone insists they get a 'pro' in to do the job.
Not that I wouldn't let EMP's take over, but that same idea.

The woman did not just drive away and leave the body in the road, now THAT would have been cold blooded. She stopped, she put the guy in her car, she might have been in a bit of shock herself.

I find it odd that you mention the woman "scowled" while your children were looking at the fire truck. She was probably upset! Should she become so overjoyed at seeing your children's amusement that she starts beaming at the site?

reply to post by Sonya610

Yeah, seems like a matter of perspective.

I think the appropriate course of action if you hit a pedestrian is to call 911. Who knows if he was concussed or had other injury.

Cleaning a head wound is a nice gesture. But not nice enough.