I want to be your Sandwich Artist

Here's my platform.

Sandwiches are bad for you. They've never done anything good. In fact, if you hire me to run your sandwich shop, I promise to shrink the size of the sandwiches you pay me to make, and run off every customer you have. I will prove to everyone that they should never come here for sandwiches again.

In fact, I'll wear a T-shirt that says "Eat more pizza!" That's my sandwich artist platform.

That will be $250,000 a year in Sandwich money please.

God, I love the Republican platform. Pay me taxpayer money to tell you I'm a waste of your money, I do nothing, and I can't help you while I cash your checks.

What toppings would you like on that?

[edit on 6-9-2008 by ZuzusPetals]

The only topping the Major sees here is an extra helping of BS. The Major doesn't think that your sandwich shop analogy works very well, but then the Major prefers to dine on MRE's. Perhaps you could drop the simplistic metaphor and attempt to discuss your topic in a mature, adult manner. or would that be too Republican?

Dismissed.

Thank you Major. That might actually be too Republican for my tastes. After all, I don't wear lipstick or throw a punch in manicured nails.

The point I was making is exactly how much money these Federal Employees make in tax dollars to tell me paying their salary is a waste of my money.

Irony is simplistic. That's why it's irony. That's why it fits on a Republican platform bumper sticker.

[edit on 6-9-2008 by ZuzusPetals]

By the way, the people that make good sandwiches are dumb and have no experience at not making good sandwiches. Dazzled by my double negatives? 9-11. POW. Lipstick.

Originally posted by ZuzusPetals
Dazzled by my double negatives? 9-11. POW. Lipstick.

Not adult Republican enough?

Sorry, I'm just an unfrozen caveman zombie in a cowboy hat, unfamiliar with your earmark spending ways. Grrrrrrr.

Vote me. Grrrrrr. And feed me brains!