My advice to guys about women...turn the tables

reply to post by unityemissions



If she's involved already, don't let her string you along. Keep your options open. Try not to sabotage her current romance. Remeber that first and foremost you two are doing business.

Giving a woman lots of money at first and then turning off the tap is very disappointing. A good woman is usually wary of that.

If she works for the tips, then sure she deserves them. It has to be realistic in terms of your own personal finances, though. If you give anybody too much, it becomes less of an act of generosity than an investment.

Originally posted by Seasick
I hear a great deal of men these days complain on the net and elsewhere about women, and how difficult it is to find a "decent" one. Well, I am a female, but I would offer some simple advise. If you wantto find a "decent" woman, you have to have "decent" intent. If all you care about is scoring a "mega hottie" to copulate with, then along with that coveted prize, consider your motives and desires and analyze them thoroughly. Most men aren't looking for quality of character, they're looking for whatever glitters the brightest and is the most ostentatious. Then I see some men complain that women are "no good', and "all they care about is money", and "women are all trashy you know whats", and so on and so forth. You choose to be led by your eyes (all three of them), and so you keep complaining about your pyrite. But there is gold to be found. Question is...are any complaining men willing to look beyond mega hotties to find it?

*Please note, I'm not accusing anyone here of being shallow.

For some reason, it seems like men and women who are shallow in that way are closeted homosexuals. They always find an excuse for why relationships with the opposite sex never work out.
They don't go full-on gay mainly because of societal expectations. It's unfortunate how these expectations more recently include some rather cynical generalizations about men and women.

reply to post by vcwxvwligen


That is just it.

There are two simple things you have to do. Okay the first is not simple, but it is the most important.

have confidence. If you don't feel comfortable with yourself, how do you expect someone else to feel confident about you? If you don't love yourself, someone else can't love you. You get the pic.

Stop trying. If your so focused on what the other sex is doing or not doing, your to focused on them.

It is not about looks or money for a lot of women. But we can smell desperation from a mile away.
That is not the same as nervousness. Nervousness is cute. Desperation makes the radar go off.

Second. Talk to the person. You would be surprised at how many guys don't do this. They are conditioned(not totally your fault btw) to talk about yoruselves and for status.

observe how many men are asked how they are doing by someone, and they answer fine, and never even reciprocate the question.

If I am in a situation like that, I get away as fast as I can.

Genuinly ask questions. Be interested. She doesn't need your resume, just who you are.


If you really want an insightful, educational book for either sex. Read:
"YOu Just Don't Understand: Conversations between men and women" It is an eye opener.

Originally posted by unityemissions


My friend says there's too many fish in the sea to get stuck on one catch, but she's a diamond in the rough. I actually saw/felt sparks when we first met...

[edit on 1-3-2009 by unityemissions]

Take that as a big hint. I know if you like this girl you think you can change her mind but if that is the place she is in right now, expect it.
If you want to casually openly date, it sounds good. But if you want commitment, your setting yourself up.

Especially if she is coming out of a relationship. However brief it may be, you don't want to be the rebound.

The reason relationships and marriages don't work it is for a few simple reasons.

1. People expect someone else to make them happy. Then they are severly disallusioned when they don't. No one can make you happy but you. That is a mighty big resposibility expecting someone else to make you happy. And unfair.

2. People are not prepared for how hard it is. Marriage is hard work. Period. It is a rollar coaster. There are great times but there are times your not very happy. You have to have the fortitude to get through unhappy times. Most people call it quits without trying.

3. People have expectations, often un-realistic, about how the relationship should be. No more Disney or romance movies. Just like the action scenes, they are not very realistic. Stop expecting and start going with the flow. Once the honeymoon phase ends, it is silly to expect a parade of balloons on valentines day. do pay attention to what he does.

I am more thrilled when my husband scrapes the frost windows and warms the car for me in the morning , that is way better then any balloons.
Men, when a woman bakes cookies or does your laundry for you, stop seeing it as a domestic duty and see the act of love that it is. We don't like domestic duties. Most of anyways. So appreciate the effort.

4. last but not least. people get stagnant. Just like the relationship changes, people change, and they need to change together. Not much in common anymore? Come up with something new. Someplace new, etc. Join a club, pick a hobby. You need that connection and you need those new memories.

People need to expect change and not be resistant to it.

Originally posted by Perfectenemy05
Time to turn the tables fellas....

Let me know how that works out for you.

Infringing on another persons free will only costs you your own.