The Mustard Story

THE MUSTARD STORY

(This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.
With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard 'Poupon.''

lmao

oh man.. thats brutal...

Oh my! After I dry heaved a little bit, I couldn't stop laughing!

That was great, and I hope to god it never happens to me!

Ewww.

That makes me chuckle, I can barely type for laughing.

Oh my goodness...ick!
That is just bad!
LOL ewwy!

Ewwww! LMAO

That is hilarious! Disgusting- yes, but hilarious!

when i was a fresh new daddy, i was checking the nappy/diaper. I couldn't really smell anything so she was possibly just wet. Right?

So i put my hand down the back to feel it is was dry - well it looked like a slab of chocolate when i pulled my hand out VERY quickly - i guess that 5 second rule didn't apply in this case huh!!!

[edit on 10/9/2008 by shearder]