Let's Talk About Sex Baby, Let's Talk About You And Me...

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


Get fixed and say OK I'm ready to try this now.

Seriously, like you already pointed out a dad should be there for their kids, that is the most important part.

Having kids is awesome by the way, they do change your life but in a good way.

Originally posted by mimer
reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

 

Get fixed and say OK I'm ready to try this now.

Seriously, like you already pointed out a dad should be there for their kids, that is the most important part.

Having kids is awesome by the way, they do change your life but in a good way.

While I can appreciate your humor, as well the perspective on having children, I'm not ready, nor even inclined to have children. Yes, I agree, a parent, either one, should be there for the child, regardless of whether the marriage lasts or not.

I can shut down feelings for sex, but not for this woman's desire, it's stupid, needless, and an ulterior motive, as well as there's no love from Me to her.

Oh yeah, I do believe I've forgotten to mention she's got a lesbian live-in lover as well. That's not an attack on her, it's a stated fact directly from her, I just now remembered. I haven't seen her in four or so many years, and I've only seen her two days now, the conversation never crossed that, I just remembered as I was typing this post up.


[edit on 13-7-2008 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


I do believe that this woman has a screw loose and that you were wise to say no to her proposal.......but all i can think about is the two children she currently has that are probably not taken good care of or given the love and attention they deserve..........i can only hope that she is turned down long enough to come to her senses but since you said she was asking the same question four years ago i do not see that happening. She is obviously not mother material...just a selfish woman who is only thinking of herself regardless of her motive. She needs to try caring for the two children she already has and not focus on making a third to neglect.....SM

Well you already pointed out you do not want kids.

So.... hmmmmm... I would say you goto your local store find the condom section....buy some (don't forget lube)..... call her up, and, since you both have mutual feelings it seems spend some quality fun time together.
Wait your going to have to get off your computer first.

DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU:

Years ago, i worked in Boston at a Publishing company. I was assigned a CREEP to supervise a T-1 installation, and as telecommunications Specialist, i had to work with him.
He took me out to lunch. To mak a long story short, this idiot actually told me he wanted to [fill in the word] me. I dropped my eggroll and told him to take me back to work.
I am not exagerating when i tell you that this man followed me home at night, called me constantly, bla bla bla.
I didnt know what to do, so i told my boss, whom i hated (another story)
I could tell at work when i had an outside call as opposed to someone calling from inside.
So i wouldnt answer the outside calls. R u with me so far? ok.

After weeks of this, i was called into the office by nurse Rat#, my boss, and told me she had received a "complaint" from the phone company (the stalker) saying that i was impossible to work with, and i should be fired.

I stood up, went to my desk, picked up my personal belongings and i left crying.
NOW, i could have turned him into the phone company for sexual harasment, but i didnt- so he ended up 'screwing' me without touching me.

My point is this, beware of people who are so persistant, and remember my story.
Had i complained about that nut to the proper people, i could have kept my job.

Originally posted by liamoohay
Well you already pointed out you do not want kids.

So.... hmmmmm... I would say you goto your local store find the condom section....buy some (don't forget lube)..... call her up, and, since you both have mutual feelings it seems spend some quality fun time together.
Wait your going to have to get off your computer first.

I believe you have pretty much skipped the entire thread altogether, as it's evidenced by your lack of understanding of any of the relevant facts whatsoever. I am not interested in her, in the least, and especially not with a co-worker.


reply to post by dgtempe


dgtempe, I feel very much for you in this instance. I have been stalked off and on since I was age six, so I fully understand everything you have had to say here.

~Hugz~

This wasn't even one of the facets of this discussion I had brought into the mix yet, and thank you for bringing it to the table with your perspective, even though I am sure you hated that it happened, your story may help others.

I never, never ever mix sex with a work place, ever. It's asking for trouble.

There's a phrase I use to explain this :

Never crap in the bowl you eat from.

That means, if you don't want a bad taste, don't eat from it. Relationships and their dynamics always fluctuate, and due to immature people at work, people being petty and jealous, and even malicious people with intent to destroy other people's happiness because of their lack of happiness, makes a "working relationship" difficult, let alone "friends with benefits" with a co-worker.

Just so everyone knows, I have petitioned to get this thread moved back to Philosophy/Psychology/Metaphysics, as it was originally about the philosophy and psychology behind this woman's motivations, but because of dgtempe's one post, I may reconsider that petition, because I may just be able to help some people here in BTS I had not considered reaching out to previously.

I had at one time had a Forum that I created to help people help themselves based on this very type of particular type of event, because I am an amatuer counselor, but due to lacking funding, and some other things, I shut it down. I had thirty members, and that was it, but it was great with the intent I had in helping people.

If anyone ever feels the need for a shoulder, please feel free to U2U, and I will respond as quickly as possible.

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


"Yes, she's attractive, yes I am attracted to her physically, just so you know."

And.

reply to post by liamoohay


I am not interested in her, in the least, and especially not with a co-worker.

Why fight a chemical reaction.
So which one is it.
No offense, but I was merely making a suggestion.
I did read the threads btw.

No hard feelings.

[edit on 7/14/2008 by liamoohay]

[edit on 7/14/2008 by liamoohay]

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas

Got your u2u and thank you.

Sometimes its good to tell of an experience so that others may learn.

Originally posted by liamoohay
reply to post by liamoohay

 

I am not interested in her, in the least, and especially not with a co-worker.

Why fight a chemical reaction.
So which one is it.
No offense, but I was merely making a suggestion.
I did read the threads btw.

No hard feelings.

[edit on 7/14/2008 by liamoohay]

[edit on 7/14/2008 by liamoohay]

No hard feelings to you either.

I mentioned I'm attracted to her physically, yes, I admit that, and yes she is beautiful, but I am not seeking a relationship with her, nor am I going to have casual sex with a co-wokrer. There are far too many things that could go wrong here. Besides which, even if she states there's no financial obligations, signs a legal document in front of 100 witnesses who also signed the document, I would still be held financially responsible in the eyes of the court, if for some reason she was to decide to change her mind.

I'm not a deadbeat dad, nor am I seeking to be one. I'm not seeking to be a father. It's not just about procreation to have fun, there are ramifications that just are too important to consider.

Well, just as an update, the female co-worker has backed off, but I think it's more because I work different shifts from her. Guess we will see how much of a difference it makes, and if that was just round one with her.

It is indeed good to hear that she has backed off.

I am in agreement with the others in thinking that it would not be in your best interests to have given in. One aspect that I thought of. You mentioned having paternal instincts. Assuming that you were to go through with this. Assuming that there were a boatload of paperwork absolving you of any responsibilitys. Assuming that she kept her word. What is to say that someday you wouldn't want to get involved with the kid? If so wouldn't that be a breach of contract? You would be fighting off the paternalistic urge to get involved with his/her life. And if you ended up getting involved with the kid's life (with the mother's blessing) how hard do you feel that you would have to strangle the urge to say "Because I'm your father and you will listen to me"? Let's face it while I have no kids of my own, I've talked with a number of parents and one thing that seems to be universal is that on occasion the kid will ask "Why do I have to do what you say? What right do you have to say what I may or may not do?".

As another thought, perhaps the woman is craving the attention that Pregnant women can receive?

Originally posted by Deson
It is indeed good to hear that she has backed off.

I am in agreement with the others in thinking that it would not be in your best interests to have given in. One aspect that I thought of. You mentioned having paternal instincts. Assuming that you were to go through with this. Assuming that there were a boatload of paperwork absolving you of any responsibilitys. Assuming that she kept her word. What is to say that someday you wouldn't want to get involved with the kid? If so wouldn't that be a breach of contract? You would be fighting off the paternalistic urge to get involved with his/her life. And if you ended up getting involved with the kid's life (with the mother's blessing) how hard do you feel that you would have to strangle the urge to say "Because I'm your father and you will listen to me"? Let's face it while I have no kids of my own, I've talked with a number of parents and one thing that seems to be universal is that on occasion the kid will ask "Why do I have to do what you say? What right do you have to say what I may or may not do?".

As another thought, perhaps the woman is craving the attention that Pregnant women can receive?

I'm glad she's backed off as well, but I still think it's because of the scheduling differences, because we passed each other the other day, and her use of the word "pleasure" was mixed with a smile that would generally turn Me on, if not for the work place being a partition in the decision making processes when it comes to events like this for what I choose.

Deson, your post points right to what I feel because of the issue that I am from a broken family where the missing father was felt from Me being that child. I know how that would feel dead-on and because of that disconnection from "father", the man who was only a biological transaction, I am able to distance every single emotion I have from anyone and or anything.

I did say I have paternalistic instincts, meaning I know, understand, and feel the need to be "fatherly" towards people when it happens, but there's no paternalistic desire, as in wanting to sprout out offspring for a sense of "need to procreate to spread to the ends of the Earth" My seed.

As for her reasoning it's something I've thought about and reasoned with, but not exactly something easy to talk about with the co-worker who does not want to listen, and while you're trying to talk with them, they're undressing you with their eyes. I know that's funny, I can see the humor in it, but it does not help that I'm ready to take her to the side with all of Management and embarrass the Hell of her with regards to this issue.

Yeah.

Dealing with women at work is always tricky.

They start flirting and wanting attention, they put you on the spot in front of everyone, they don't give you any time, any privacy....

It's SO awkward at work, because it's not like you can just start making out with a girl right there, on company time, you know?

How to deal with it? I've noticed that some men always say they're married or have a gf, even if they don't really. Just so the girls don't get their hopes up.

You can try asking them out - only to get the inevitable "my bf wouldn't like that" or "I don't have time".... :bnghd: :bnghd:

What's the solution?

And you say this woman wants a kid too?? Gak! Making a baby your first time with her, no way!!! I would only ever want to have kids with a woman who's like my best friend in the whole world....

I told her no, flatly.

She asked why not, I stated I don't want to be a father.

She stated there was no financial obligations, I still said no.

She then asked why I do not want to be a sperm donor, I stated that if I have a child, I want to be there for the child in all ways, as I come from a broken home and understand fully not having My father there, and having a step-father instead when I wanted it the other way around. I have since changed that view altogether as the father was more interested in laying in the bottom of an alcohol bottle than being a part of his family. He was, is, and always will be a complete stranger to Me.

She asked jokingly if that meant I wanted to move in, I said a flat no.

She offered that I could be there in all ways for the child, I still stated no.

I her every offer, and she still kept on pushing.

Definitely sounds like a care salemsman. She let you know she is not interested in you as a husband. What happens when she meets someone she considers husband material and moves to (insert city here) to be with him? How will you be a partof your kids life then?

I think you made the right choice.

There is no way in hell I would have a kid with anyone other than my wife.

You also have to think about the kid, which so many people never seem to do. I'd HATE my parents if I found out that this was the story of my conception. What if the kid ends up with an abusive father? That's on YOU becasue you took part in making this kid. I couldn't live with myself if I was responsible for that.