posted on Jun, 27 2008 @ 07:07 PM
I have come to the conclusion, and it is my belief that I have experienced many moments of extreme empathy that were not clouded or obscure. They have
been a bit mundane, as well as extreme to the extent that it was of a paranormal effect which radiated my body in a brilliant form of energy... And
they all emanate from the feelings of Love..
I have told very few people about these episodes which I have, and all of them have thought I was either crazy or that it was a form of OCD,
schizophrenia, or another physiological disorder.
The first episode I can recall was when I was about 4 or 5 and they usually start in the same manner.. I am lying in bed with my eyes shut and with
the memory of how the world looks. I can see my scale become distorted( I become very small, and the world becomes very large, or things look much
further away than they really are, Scale is always the first sign) and when I open my eyes, It will stay distorted, and an overwhelming sensation will
develop.
I have in the past referred this sensation to a voice or mind that is in one way or another influencing my thoughts.. I still have full awareness of
who I am and what is surrounding me, as well as my same moral and ethical understandings. so I do not believe it's say a state of insanity...
My first memory of this experience is when I was very young and it relates very much to the love of my Mother... When I was 13 my Mother died of
cancer, and these episodes came back... At that time I saw a shrink and talked to him about these episodes. He ignorantly closed my discussions and
put my on a number of anti-psychotics. I however never took any of them, certain of the fact that this was not the way to understand this... the
episodes later died out..
Then when I was 17, I fell in love for the first time. Shortly after, the episodes came flourishing back.. This time they were more realized and
extreme, and they occurred to me at anytime. Where as before they would only happen when I was laying in bed... Now that I look back, it seems that
they would happen more often when I was around my girlfriend, and I came to sort of live with them.. when I left high school I broke up with my
girlfriend and moved to go to college across the country. and again the episodes died out.
Then in 2006 I fell in love again, however as all love, this was different than my first of course, and shortly became very strong. I had only really
known this girl for about 3 weeks when we started to first talk about our love for one another. Now I must say this is not to be mistaken with Lust..
we did lust for each other, but we were not sleeping with one another at that time, so I do not believe it was as a result of overwhelming lust, my
intentions were to better understand the strong chemistry and energetic connection we had. At this point I began having my episodes again but again
they were stronger than before. and now I started to actually realize there significance.. I can remember an almost telepathic experience with her.
and I would constantly feel her energy when I was miles away from her..
So this brings me to the night of my moment of enlightenment, or clear thought(for lack of a better word)... I was this time lying in bed on my back
when the scale of the world began to distort, and the feeling or mind of another, or maybe it was mine all along began to overwhelm me. This time the
episode grew and grew until I could feel an immense energy emanating from myself in pulsing waves and all my thoughts were completely clear, yet I
felt void of guilt, or sorrow. I felt almost complete..
however this has always terrified me, mainly because I don't fully understand what is happening, and when I try to speak to others of it, they close
me out.. I guess I am trying to put it here in hopes that open minds will understand or someone else has experienced this too..
I know this is not the end either, but merely just the beginning, for I have been told recently "It is time"
[edit on 27-6-2008 by Empath]