Playing along (with reality and society)

I title the post that way but playing along is serious business, isn't it? We can take such a higher perspective on life and reality, but we still play along. We might know that none of it matters (on some levels) but we still must play along, or we lose the plot.

I am having a hard time coming to grips with my role in society and the system, and where I will go and what I will do to become a "success"

I'm just wondering how you guys here have handled this dilemma. There is not one single avenue or career one can take, that is not without it's faults in the grand scheme of things.

So how do you learn to play along?

Im not a taker...i just live day to day if this makes any sense.I don't want a life plan.So i that mean i'm just settling for.

Be like water, go with the flow. Only look out that you won't go stale in some pool somewhere, not good. .

Anyway, you don't have to be a succes to be happy in your life because what exactly is 'succes' in your eyes? Recognition in the eyes of others? What do others have to do with your happiness? Ofcourse, be selfsufficient, in the best way you can but i think if you chase the phantom of 'succes' you are getting sucked into this perverted game we mistake for life. Look for a job that you think is interesting, if you cannot do that look for a job that is easy so that you have enough free time to do what you like and there are ways to extract yourself from the game by going to communities they have in India and other places. Pretty much a new age business but if you feel like you are stuck in the whole playing along thing it could be nice to look into it.

In short, there are enough roads less traveled that could be usefull, only because the weeds are growing back on the road does not mean it's closed .

[edit on 17-6-2008 by Harman]

Rebellious souls that dont play along have two choices: Become criminal or become spiritual. The second choice seems better to me.

reply to post by Novise

You may think is ridiculously simple answer, but please give me benefit of the doubt.

There is ABSOLUTELY a well-defined formula for achieving social success, and it has been around for many years, and it requires only moderate discipline to follow.

It is best articulated (IMO) within the following book, available everywhere.

en.wikipedia.org...

Check it out. It is deceptively simple, logical, and easy.

Edit: One more note on this. Not only will the formula, outlined in the above book, empower you in any social situation, the second chapter of the book provides the perfect guide for picking up sexual partners. It is strange but true, and has to be mentioned in any context of this formula's open discussion (and that is definitely above top secret.)

[edit on 17-6-2008 by Buck Division]

reply to post by Novise


Do what makes you happy, preferrably if it's of help to other people. I say that because your particular joy might be braining old ladies with house bricks - obviously if that's the case I wouldn't recommend following that particular path.

You can leave spirituality out of this - just understand that everyone else is a person like you, and how much you'd like to be treated well by others. Simply extend that courtesy to everyone else, and suddenly you'll be just as thoughtful and nice as a Christian, though you'd have done it off your own back, and not be strong-armed with threats of eternal ass-pitchforking in hell. If there is a God, I'd like to think he'd let you in to heaven if you did nice things for folks, even if you never knew he existed.

Try working backwards from the result that you want. Do you desire a close-knit family, good paying job, material goods, sexual partners, etc. You just have to be honest with yourself. Once you decide what you want, just take the steps necessary to reach that goal. Of course, the road to that goal will not be smooth, but having a specific end in mind will not only provide for a tangible result, but it allows you to set milestones so that you have tangible steps to take on your way. Also, to agree with dave420, make sure your goal doesn't involve hurting other people. Objectively it's a subjective point, however, I think it's a valuable moral.

When it comes down to it, life is an empty canvas. You can paint whatever you want on it. We all have to play games, and we all wear different faces. What matters is that you are honest with yourself, because at the end of the day, you are the only person you have to answer to. Also, Buck Division, if you want to play the game that book is very useful.

Great advice guys. I have a decent job and live on my own. I don't have a lot and wouldn't be considered successful by todays "standards". But I have enough to be on my own and be happy. It really comes down to my parents at the moment they are my focus. Honor thy father and mother and all that. I think they'd be a lot more proud of me if I had a job with more responsibility and pay. It seems sort of shallow, but almost all parents are like this. They also of course want grandkids, like every parent... I'm not worried about society judging me negatively, I make friends with practically all who I meet. But as you know being friends and being respected are two different things.

reply to post by Novise


I know this might sound a bit corny, but you should try asking your parents if they're proud of you. I feel like sometimes we see these imaginary expectations that people have for us. Parents usually want their kids to be happy, maybe they think you'd be happier with more pay and responsibility. Sometimes they surprise you and say how they're proud of you for doing something that at the time didn't seem noteworthy at all. I think it's better to ask and find out. Personally, I don't have a father anymore, haven't since I was 12, and while I know he'd probably be proud of me, I wish I had been able to ask. Take advantage of the time you have with your parents, it's better to ask and have an answer than to be unable to take the chance later. Peace.

Life...Its so darn simple that we've made it complicated. I don't know where I'm supposed to fit either. I think the majority of people feel this way... and before in a time when you were TOLD what you would do, what you would become in life. Now some people actually have a choice as to what they want to do with their life. Some dont. My friend actually, her father made her go into Accounting. She hates it, but she does it. He told her that once she got her Accounting Degree, she could go back to school for whatever she wanted. My parents were a little less controlling it was more like "You either go to school and get a good job, or you stay here and work like us, both of us have full time jobs just to pay the bills. You're call."

Now WHAT do I want to take in school? It took me 3 years of University in Bachelor of Business Administration, to realize that I hated it. And i had to change. So Now, Im in Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. Now, with THAT road where do I want to go? Who knows....I have a rough idea...but nothing is set in stone.

How can I know that in 10 years I'll be happy with the way my life has gone? I wish I could read ahead sometimes, and see the end of my book, what I ultimately choose in the end...However...this isn't possible...and I just have to trust myself. As do you.

Try taking an Aptitude test or something...Like what do you like to do? What are you interests, what are you good at? In 10 years, what are you goals in life? What do you do in your free time, besides ATS? Where do you currently work - are you happy there? Is it a Carreer choice? or a "Pays-the-bills" Choice?

Dear, I think by the time we learn how to play along - we're already on our way to the finish line...

- Carrot

I completely get what you are saying. I call it "pretending" in the suburbs. But, of course, that's just my own situation.

Within the confines of my house, our family and friends discuss deep and important issues. But out in the real world of work and society, we discuss only that which is appropriate.

I try not to think of it as being fake. Some topics just make people uncomfortable. I don't presume to have all of the answers so I need debate and a civil, open forum. That just doesn't exist in 'burbs' where everyone expects cookie-cutter discussions and appearances.

I play the role well but it's starting to fit me like an awful bridesmaid gown. Just one of many...

As a mom, I can assure you that your parents only want those things for you so they can rest assured that you are safe and happy when they are gone. They just want you to achieve all that you can be. In you, they see the best of all that they are. It's the only authentic gift they can really give you.




[edit on 18/6/2008 by kosmicjack]

When it comes to job and my birth family, I used to play along. I was miserable though, so I stopped. Now I hardly ever play along.

In fact I am the most disappointing person ever (to my family of birth).
I was written out of the will, I am the brunt of most of their jokes, I am ridiculed, they give me no respect what-so-ever, and there is now an entire list of family members to whom I simply don't speak. My relationship with them is over.

While that is frustrating, over all I find myself happier now than when I used to play along. Now I am the authentic me - the man I know I want to be. I realized that some peoples standards are just so messed up that I don't want to live up (or down) to them. Some people are so messed up that I would be disappointed in myself if I had their approval.

Now my life is bigger, better, more adventurous, happier, and more peaceful than when I played along. I wouldn't change a thing.