how do you get justice from a school system?

how does one get justice when school has prety much destroyed a person?

it's been years since i've been in school yet i still have a burning anger and want of justice as i feel thats where my life started going down the drain. in grades 1-4 i constantly was bullied by most of my classmates because i didn't do well, i didn'teven start to read untill my parrents found someone to help me on their own in grade 3 (thanks to a fill in teacher who figured out i had problems), turns out i was deslexic,. i even remember eraseing negitive signs with my eraser because i could barely add forgett about subtraction. i also remember spending quite alot of time after school and in the office because i wasn't doing my work, (how can one do it if they don't have a clue what to do in the first place). not only was i constantly beat up (i became a good runner and tree climber), but i got in truble for not fighting back. once i even got yelled at because my older sister was upset that i was being beaten up. i was continuasly told to fight back to stop it. unfortunatly at that time i listened to my parrents that i shouldn't fight.

then we moved at the end of fourth grade, i figured great i would get a fresh start. well i did and didn't. thing was we changed school systems. i still wasn't very good at school and on top of that i was singled out because i didn't know any french. my old school nwas going to start french in grade 5, the new school started french in grade 1 and to be honest a bit in kindergarten as well. this meant that by grade 5 french class was all french, so not understanding a word i became "stupid" and a target. add to this that at one point we were suppost to watch a certain showon cable, heck the only tv we even had was the monitor for the new comadore 64 dad had bought that summer, forget haveing cable as we were not well off, no vcr either as they were realy expensive back then, and my family didn't have much money, we lived in a crappy section of a rich area. the damm teacher refused to beleive this of course and called me a lier in front of the entire class when i spoke up and said why i couldn't watch the show.

so iu was now stupid and poor, well the beats just kept on comeing. i even got blaimed for stealing a bike that was stolen while we were in class. yeah a grade 5 student can just slip outside and cut a heavy chain and steal a bike without anyone noticeing i was gone.:bnghd: at that point i started to fight back, all that accomplished was when i started getting the better of the beater others would join in to help them. also I was the one to get in trubble because of course they had "witnesses" saying i started it. i even started to use weapons to try to defend myself, stckes, rocks, chains, my belt backpack and books ect, whatever was at hand. of course this just brought more trubble and i didn't even ubnderstand why I was always the one in trubble. once they even phisicaly forced me to "kiss" a metaly handicapped girl, she had no clue i don't think that i was pushed on her by 3 or 4 other guys, all she knew was i "violated" her. yet more trubble i was in. in all honesty i don't remember much else about that year other thatn it was the time of my first suicide attempt (never try to hang yourself with a plastic skipping rope they break). and all the fighting i had to do as far as i was concerned i was trying to save my life some of the beatings were prety bad. and yet i always started it. i remember once we had some small woodlots on the grounds and i climbed a small tree and leaned over bending it to another tree and so on till i escaped.

at some point towords the end of the year it was decided that i was a special ed student and got moved to a differant school. well as anyone knows who has ever been a special ed student knows that right there singles kids out for abuse. we were all right as long as we stayed together as a group but without the group we were open to attack.

i remember one instance in paticular from that year. the entire grade 5 normal class was all boys. one winter day i was trying to help a young kid retreive a scarf or hat that had been dropped and had frozen into the ice when that class surounded me. i knew it was gonna be bad. after i took a few hits i looked for a weak spot in the ring. i found it and went through fist first. i badly bruized most of his fave with that one hit and possibly broke his jaw, his eye was also badly swollen (personaly he deserved it). but yet again guess who's fault it was, you got it mine. he became an inocent bystander of course not part of the agresser force. after that i spent a lot of time in a 1 foot diamiter drainage pipe under a small rise that blocked sound from the rail tracks. no one could get me there so i was safe untill the bell would ring. weather permitting of couse. i even got in trubble for doing that when i got caught.

being a class of 8 students the teacher had time to actualy help us and i caught up for the most part, i was even reading at a grade 13 level at the time, books had gone from an enimy to a freind who would let me escape for a time. the main prob of course was french (a required course since we have two official languages). so they stuck me in a grade 5 french class, which of course was all in french which i had no clue to understand. i finaly got kicked out because i was "not paying attention and disrupting the class", now how can someone pay attention to someone speaking in a launguage you barely know two or three words of? and it came with the normal yelling from the princible.

for grade 7 i was placed in a normal class, oh yay what full right into the lion's den. i of course didn't do so hot but i passed, had the normal beatings and i even took off home via the railroad tracks which was my backyard a couple kilomitors down the track. i always got in trubble of course, tho what they didn't know was i kept trying to jump off a railway bridge about 200 feet or so above a small river i just couldn't go through with it. i kinda figured that i would fail and just break every bone in my boddy. i even had my science fair project compleatly destroyed after putting one hell of alot of time into it. but then again that type of thing always happened, books stolen, torn up ect, and of course no one other then my parrents would beleive me. when i would tell them.

then came wonderfull grade 8 untill a few years ago the worst hell year of my life. mr. marinangeli may he rott in hell. i couldn't do ANYTHING right. asighnments and art projects i knew i turned in were marked 0 because they were never handed in. (the next summer i found where mom had put my artwork and actualy found some of the projects with grades on it, that were listed on my report card as not handed in:w:. thats when i found out the terrible truth of that year. i showed mom and ended up finding out that she had caught the bastered red handed messing with my grades. see my mother was a bit anoying in that i was sick so she went to the school to pick up homework. she had to waite for the music teacher to get my flute out so i could practice (fat lot of good music was i still can't figure out notes and how to play instuments). anyway while she was waiteing she apparently got boared and started looking at stuff. one item was a test that as per norm since i had failed she had to sign and i was suppost to correct( i had given up doing this as even if my answers seemed right they were always wrong so i couldn't be bothered to waste my time. it was a science test on time. well she looked it over andwent to the princible about it as she was sure my answers were correct, normaly she would sign it and give the usual try harder speach. he was apparently no help at all, so she called the school board and bobarded the poor guy she got with the questions for the test and after he would answer she would tell him it was wrong.

well the poor guy finaly had enough and asked her what the hell she was doing to which she apparently replied that those were the same answers i had given but they were marked as wrong. all that happened was that teacher was no longer alowed to mark my stuff, but it was at the end of the year so i barely passed. the prick appenerntly had been failing every kid who had ever been a special ed student for years as it was HIS beleife that they needed the extra year before highschool. almost amusingly was one kid who started to go to the special ed class for extra help, his grades plummeted, instead of improveing. mr. marinangeli (and i dearly hope he happens to see this) got a transfer to a new school so i couldn't find him and confront him about it.

also in grade 7-8 i started to hit puberty and i tend to sweat prety badly and stank. so of course i got in trubble for that too (i find out over 20 years later i suffer from hyperhydrosis appatrently). they made me feel like crap they wouldn't beleive i bathed or used deoderant (i was even given a written warning a work several years back over that same thing.)

next came high school i made a change to my appearance at the time. i became "cammo boy", it worked between that and my aroma i was prety much left alone phisicaly, didn't stop the teasing and such but i wasn't getting the crap beat out of myself so i counted that as a plus. people were actualy scared of just my presance apparently which to be honest was fine with me.

yet i still had accademic problems, because it takes so much concentration and time to write i couldn't take notes or copy off the blackboard. homework forgett it i didn't have 20hours a night to try to do it if i even understood it i remembeer once spending a whole weekend trying to do some math stuff in grade 9, forgett any other homework. and besides i needed my evenings to decompress from the stress. what i did do was read the entire textbooks in some classes like science, i liked the stuff i just sucked at doing the paperwork part.

anyway in ghrade 9 the teacher took away the textbooks a couple months before exams, i had no notebook and everyone in class knew that as i was constantly being yelled at in class about it my notebook consisted of partialn diagrams and a bit of what i was able to coppy off the blackboard. well the exam came and i wrote it as per norm in the special ed exam room. now when in that room they seperated those takeing the same exam as far away from the others as possible, no chance to coppy. i felt i did ok. well then came exam return day. of course the class asked who got the highest mark. the teacher told us it was a student from another class. so they asked who had the highest in our class, thats when things got weird. he asked if everyone agreed (i didn't care), then he SPACIFICALY asked me if i minded, i said something like i don't care. he then diclosed that I had the highest mark in class the second in the course, and proceded to rant on about how i cheated because he knew i had no textbook (he took them away a couple moths befor remember) and that he also knew that i had no notebook and was sure no one let me borrow theirs, he went on and on for half an hour about that. i found out later my freind had the highest mark and was praised up and down that he knew he could do it. this guy slept and read more in class then i did. but then again his mother was a teacher somewhere.

then to try to cut this rant short came the last year i attended. in english class the teacher wanted all of us to write a journal with our thoughts and feelings in it, i basicaly told her what she could do with that idea esp since her son was a fellow student in the same year and that he read EVERYTHING he wanted to of her student's work. yeah like i'm gonna let that happen.

in that same class i was haveing an arguement fued with a couple girls that did not get along with me. finaly the teacher had enough of it. i personaly could't blaim her as i was getting anoyed with it myself. and told us the next one she heard would be kicked out of classs, and that she didn't care who started it.

well a few weeks later one of the class clowns was acting up again so the teacher tried to kick him out. he stared to whine he wanted to learn,. now this teacher had a habbit of keeping us after scool for wasted time, so i said "jim just go, think of it as a vacation". at which point i was kicked ot too. well i packed up muttering about why was i being kicked out.

well wouldn't you know it the girls fly up and start whispering to the teacher, aqll i coulsd realy make out was my name. i then left. after school i went back to ask why i had been kicked out since she was always saying we should use "peer pressure" to deal with problems, thats why she would keep the entire class after school to make us want to do it. she told me i wasn't in any real trubble and that it would have caused more problems not to kick me out. ojk whatever then. then i asked what the anoying twins were talking to hetr about. she told me it was personel, and had NOTHING to do with me, so i let it drop and left.

next day i was going to guitar class after photocoppying fingering charts to try to play a test piece when some lady i had never seen before aproched me. "are you generik?" i was the only kid who wore fatigues to school, so i said "ya who are you?"she then told me she was a new vice princible, and could i come to the office. so i did. once in the office it started "did you mean what you said yesterday?" i said "excuse me?", did you mean what you said yesterday?", i replied " i say a lot of things everyday, what are you talking about?"

she read off a piece of paper " i'm going to come back and kill you all to hell" (now remember this is about 20 years ago, no columbine or anything had ever happend before). i said "excuse me?" "i'm going to come back and kill you all to hell", i said look i didn't say that at all so how could i have meant it?", she replied "did you mean it?", i told her "a) i never said any such thing in the first place, b) i don't speak that bad english, and c) i certaily would not have told them if i was going to do something like that."
well this went on for a couple hours ( i entered at about 11am). then she had to go to some meeting and passed me off to the other vice princible. where the spanish inquisition continued.

then at about 4:30-5pm a girl came crying to the office that her purse had been stolen dureing a basketball game. the vp told me to take a 20 min walk while he delt with this "VERY SERIOUS" problem, serious problem? they were telling me i would be arrested for saying it if i didn't addmit it. how in the hell is a stollen purse MORE IMPORTANT then that? well i stomped arround crushing or kicking empty glass bottles with me steel toe boots as i was beyond furious and needed to take my anger out.

when i got back to the office the vp told me he would have to have a meeting with my parrents or i'd be arrested. i told him that my parrents both had to work for a liveing and couldn't take time off besides i was 18 or 19 at the time anyway. but he insisted so i told him i would delever his ultimatum but not to expect anything as this was all a big smelly pile of bs.
well ultimatly both my parrents came in to the meeting, my dad had just been through arbitration training as he was the shop union steward at work.

dureing this meeting involveing the princible, both vp's, a couple board members a couple guidence counsolers and my family it came out that both girls statements were word for word the same. which of course dad jumped on stateing that a) two close freinds make only one witness and b)that the statements being word for word the same tends to mean they planned what to say c) obviously this was a frame job. the male vp lost it at that point and started to scream rant and rave (he lost his case i think at that point) he was almost foaming at the mouth. in the end dad had bagoned away the cop, the shrink, and i just had to talk with an elder at church about it.

talking to the elder was almost amuseing, he asked what had happened we discused it a few minutes and he said he didn't even see why i was the one talking to him since it was nothing i had even said.

the sad part is i was smart enough to know that if ANYTHING untoword happened to those girls i was dead meat and would be in prison. that worry gave me an ulcer nice at my age and i already had an ulcer going. almost even worse came a few months later ( i basicaly had to drop that course). one of the girls came up to me and appologized for doing it and that they were JUST trying to get me kicked out of class. nice of her to apologize isn't it. i just spun arround and marched away from her in discust. they almost destroyed my life and she treats it like she accidently stepped on my foot or something. needless to say i couldn't go back for myu final year i figured if i did i would go to jail, so because of two little b$^$&^$% i wasn't able to graduate, which of course has effected me for the rest of my life.

how does one finaly get justice, i can't put it behind me, just thinking about it tends to put me into a tail spin. i NEED JUSTICE to deal with it all i think then just mabe i could put it to rest.

i apologize for being so long winded but it's better out i have been trying to hold it in for almost 20 years and my life has been hell. i have been screwed over so many times i am ready to explode and if that happens it will most likely be very bad, i am so much in turmoil i am almost scared of myself sometimes.

I understand about kids being different and being treated badly because of it. My nephew, ADHD && Bipolar is in Jail right now because some kids started a rumor of him having a hit list. He didn't even get to walk the stage for graduation, much less be there because...Guess where he was?? JAIL. It's really crappy the way people take advantage of people just because they are different for their own pleasure. It really sickens me.