True Forced Loneliness

Originally posted by Zaphod58
So being the nice guy is sucking up to women and is a routine? WTF.

So apparently I'm just pretending to be nice when I do those things huh? You know, there are some of us raised when that was showing RESPECT to women.

It's a routine when guys say "but don't want to be [intimate] with me" or "always just friends" [opposed to lovers]. That is not respect .. it's obvious by the context they're only being nice in an attempt to get sex. Being nice does not obligate a woman to get romantically involved with someone.. and women are NOT opposed to men with good manners. Thats a BS myth some men made up to make women sound like they're being unfair and shallow because they reject romantic advances.

Maybe if she were actually sexually attracted to him in the first place he might actually stand a chance and not whine about how women hate nice guys. Pulling out a chair or opening a door and being really nice does NOT compensate for lack of charisma or chemistry.. in fact when it's layed on too thick it's kind of creepy.

[edit on 8-6-2008 by riley]

reply to post by cosmicstorm



Men? There were Men on those vids?

I saw lost boys...

and congrats to the nwo for this chaos...

reply to post by Zaphod58


But think about it like this. If you were a beautiful woman and a guy would only be nice to you all time no matter what, I'm sure you would suspect that they just want something (i.e. sex) from you.

It's true for anything else too. I'm always wary of people who try to be too nice. I always think they're after something or want something from me.

And it's a sad state of affairs that it's true. I do things like open doors, and pull out chairs because it's the right and polite thing to do. I guess I'm part of a dead generation huh? I'm probably one of the few left that does it for no reason other than to be polite, which depresses the hell out of me.

[edit on 8/6/08 by Critical]

Originally posted by kattraxx

Sleuth, so well put, you've really left me nothing to say.
These guys are simply projecting their own negative feelings outward onto everyone but themselves. And blaming women for their own behaviors

Im sure these guys have low self esteem so they have to blame other people for their feelings to raise it. Thats probably why their so self absorbed.

Originally posted by kattraxx

The kicker is, if you asked those guys what type of woman they're looking for, I'd bet my house they'd describe a super model! Do you think any one of them would accept their "equal". Ha!

I dissagree. They would like a super model but would probably accept someone lower than themselves, due to their low self esteem.

BTW i only watched the third video.

In the last video, the guy has a pretty good handle on the rise of women's power and I think he's right that it will backfire eventually, but his problem is that he dwells too much on the big picture.

The other two guys were too whiny from the get go, so I just clicked off the videos.

The problem with all three is that they haven't yet conquered loneliness and learned to be completely objective about the world.

Guy three is well on his way to really understanding things as they are, but he's light years away from how to deal with it.

Any man worth his salt is never lonely. A real man needs no one to be happy.

Not all women are like the ones he describes and they are out there and available. If he can't find them, too bad. If he finds one and she turns into a borderline personality case, too bad. Move on.

According to the first guy there are "...thousands of hundreds of thousands. If not MILLIONS of guys forced into loneliness that is trying my very best to get to light on what being forced to live this life is like...," whatever that means.

My advice for these guys is to grow up and get a life.

If you do that there will be plenty of women who will want a piece of the action.

Even better advice is to learn to live with yourself and to be happy with that. Even that attracts some women, but the main point is to require no one else to make you happy.

Solitude is a gift that only the truly blessed fully appreciate.

These dudes problems are that they are not happy with themselves. I don't think their problem would be solved if they had a woman, they just think it would. Their problems start from within. A previous poster hit the nail on the head....if you can't look at yourself, be honest with yourself, and respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? To the giant dude in the red koolaid suit in the video...if he really cared about himself, he would realize his current physical condition is not healthy and he would go to the gym and better himself. Women are attracted to guys that are in charge of their own lives and have everything under control...as well as their sincerity and kindness. Maybe them not having a significant other is natures way of telling them that they are not ready for one because they can't care for themselves properly.

Pardon me but their self-esteem is showing. Could someone kindly cover it up? It's embarassing.

Honestly, I've dated guys that were not cute, that were not athletic, not wealthy, drove cars that belched smoke, etc. None that were fat, though. To me, morbidly obese (I don't mean pudgy) says: I don't care if you find me attractive. I don't care if I let myself go. I don't care if I'm unhealthy, uncomfortable, sweating in 50 degree weather. I don't care about anything. I have no ambition, dreams, aspirations or inclination to wedge my fat arse off the couch and stop shoving fritos in my face long enough to do something with my life.

These guys are major maintenance projects and if they ever do meet a girl that wants them, they'll have even less self-esteem than the guys.

"Nice" is a start. Comfortable with yourself is a big plus. Healthy self-esteem (not exaggerated narcissism) is a turn on. Whinning makes my eyes twitch. Yes, there are plenty of nice guys out there that aren't emos and if they're not living in their mothers basement I give them the time of day.

The guys in the videos forced lonliness on themselves and made my eyes twitch.

I don't claim to understand the intricacies of "True Forced Loneliness".

In the case of Holloway in particular, it's made most apparent what the source of the problem is. He's upset that he can't find a companion without compromising and changing himself and his habits.

This is the sort of strength of character I can respect... in some people.

To be unwavering in your faith in God. To be focused on your chosen profession. To be devoted to a cause. To take an interest in world events. To work for the betterment of mankind I can see these being traits that should be defended. These are things which should not be tainted, and it is indeed a courageous man who refuses to let his ideals be compromised!

But at some point, let's be frank... your individuality isn't worth the flesh it's printed on, if it serves no laudable purpose.

Look at this man. Listen to him. What is he defending? What grand ideal does he stand for that changing his grooming, his dietary habits, or his speech would somehow compromise?

To be attractive is not just rigidly defined as "To be beautiful". It it to attract. To be engaging. To be winning. To be pleasing.

He is none of these things. Women do not like him, because he is not LIKABLE! What do True Forced Loneliness sufferers expect? What is it they yearn for? For people to be their companion and dispel their loneliness despite their unlikability?

I say this as plainly as possible. If you're not willing to put the effort into bettering yourself, then why should anyone take note of your plight? The solution is literally in your hands. If lonelinees is a burden, then take steps to dispel it.

It's important to be yourself! I agree!

Be true to yourself. Be true to your ideals. Talking like a moron, swelling at the gut, and complaining that no one will take you "as you are" are NOT ideals!.

It's self indulgent and childish. And no, no one is going to go out of their way to console the loneliness of a self indulgent man-child because he is insistent upon his right to be a self indulgent man-child. Nor should they be expected to.

Why must others compromise their wants and needs when he is unwilling to do so?

Chicks like gay dudes. Thats pretty much what the females on this thread are explaining the ideal man to be. A confident gay dude. If youre totally confident when talking to a girl you think is hot then you are gay. Its kind of backwards isnt it? The way chicks dig confidence. Some girls like it when you call them a fat whales penis and tell them to #@!$ off. WTH?

Dont take this post too seriously.

[edit on 10/6/08 by Critical]

Originally posted by Mad_Hatter
These dudes problems are that they are not happy with themselves. I don't think their problem would be solved if they had a woman, they just think it would. Their problems start from within. A previous poster hit the nail on the head....if you can't look at yourself, be honest with yourself, and respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? To the giant dude in the red koolaid suit in the video...if he really cared about himself, he would realize his current physical condition is not healthy and he would go to the gym and better himself. Women are attracted to guys that are in charge of their own lives and have everything under control...as well as their sincerity and kindness. Maybe them not having a significant other is natures way of telling them that they are not ready for one because they can't care for themselves properly.

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. The third video from the op really just shows me a guy who maybe came off a bad breakup. While I understand there are plenty of women that fit his description, there are just as many that don't. I liked one of his latest videos, ( www.youtube.com... ) because he looks like at least he is making an effort to meet good women. People tend to let certain events (especially relationships) dictate their lives when they are deeply emotionally affected by them.

I have mixed feelings on the matter. I just came up off of a rough break up myself. After 3 years, and losing some friends, I really thought she was the one. Rather than coming up with excuses for what happened, I've learned to just accept it as it is. Being rejected is a part of life. How you act when you are down and out can show what type of person you really are. Instead of seeing it as a set back, I'm trying to see it as a new beginning.

The way I see it, the world is what it is today because of men trying to get that perfect woman. Maybe not so much recently, but the same instincts are still there. Men feel they need to impress women to get them interested, which is perfectly normal. It's the men that don't want to improve themselves that cry about this stuff. You should always aspire to be a better person. Being without a relationship is a way to instill this thought in us to keep us progressing IMO.



[edit on 6/11/08 by AcesInTheHole]

TFL = LTD "long term depression" + "negative Ego".

Major Depression:

Definitions:
1. a mental disorder characterized by sustained depression of mood, anhedonia, sleep and appetite disturbances, and feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and hopelessness. Diagnostic criteria for a major depressive episode (DSM-IV) include a depressed mood, a marked reduction of interest or pleasure in virtually all activities, or both, lasting for at least 2 weeks. In addition, 3 or more of the following must be present: gain or loss of weight, increased or decreased sleep, increased or decreased level of psychomotor activity, fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, diminished ability to concentrate, and recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

The Cause Of Our Negative Ego:

"Our negative Ego, is a product of our fear that we are not good enough, which manifests itself as our attempt to live up to society's predefined image, instead of simply being who we are."

We can achieve society's predefined image to a degree, but achieving society's predefined image is a waste of time, because society's predefined image is not who we are.

How can we be who we are, when we pretended to be who society, at whatever level we choose to exist, wants us to be.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In short what we are seeing is Major Depression & Negative Ego formed from year of rejection. Due to society's predefined image.

Society's predefined image: (AKA) They don't look like the people on TV or how you do. So you Base,Make fun of and reject them only to inflate your own ego and drive there's father into the Negative.

..just watched charming, empathises-with-serial-killers-and-rapists "bill" again. He harps on about true forced loneliness yet he argues that violence, rape and murder of women stems from sexual rejection.. almost like he's trying to incite it.

This is now a "movement" where he actually has followers .. more like a bowel movement.

[edit on 24-6-2008 by riley]

I guess maybe I ought to register for this site! LOL!

Ok... first off, I did watch some more of Bill122460's videos on the subject, and the whole "True Forced Loneliness" bit is really just a repackaging of much of the Men's Rights Movement. Google "Marriage Strike" and "Men Going Their Own Way" to see what I mean.

In both cases they do make some legitimate complaints, mainly when it comes to divorce, having unrealistic expectations (applies to both sexes), and radical feminism in general. HOWEVER, many of these people are in fact missing the point entirely when they start blaming women (or conversely men) for their relationship problems. So with that said...

Love and Romance for Dummies:

Confidence, personality, and attitude are EVERYTHING when it comes to the opposite sex. I don't care if you weigh 50 lbs or 500 lbs or have a face that looks like a baboon's arse. What I mean by that is being a decent human being, dropping the bad attitudes and the "what's in it for me" crap. I'm talking Golden Rule here, not being a "nice" guy or girl, being a doormat, or wallowing in self-pity. In other words, if you want a friend, be a friend.

When going out in public, make at least some effort to not look like a slob. In other words, be clean... run a comb through your hair, shower, and wear clean clothes that are in good repair. You get the idea.

If you do see somebody that catches your attention, look them straight in the eye and smile. Don't be afraid to be the first one to say "Hello". I guarantee that if you can get this far with it, you WILL meet people! See? Not that difficult is it?

When you do finally get yourself a date, treat them EXACTLY like you would your best friend. That means joke around and have a good time! Don't treat a date like a job interview, and whatever you do NEVER EVER apologize for who you are or what you believe in. That's what they call "being yourself".

For those who are shy, or are uncomfortable talking to the opposite sex, here is what you do. Take a flattering picture of yourself, and go get yourself an account on a social site like MySpace, Yearbook, Facebook, etc.; and start mingling. As long as you don't act like a jerk or a perv, within a month or two AT MOST I guarantee you will have action coming out of your ears. You would not believe the amount of lonely men and women on these sites who would be absolutely tickled to have you (yes YOU) as a friend or more. The advantage here is a slow and controlled environment that allows people to really get to know each other w/o the pressure.

Finally, give up on the idea of looks. Quit being a media sheeple. The kind of people you see in magazines and television are not real. All it serves to do is show how shallow you are, and quite frankly people who get hung up on looks get exactly the kind of crappy relationships they deserve.

FWIW I'm a big guy too, and while I will grant that having the extra ballast does make dating more challenging, it has not stopped me from having some wonderful relationships.

Wow those dudes were pathetic,wallowing in their own self pity,I would think a woman would be more attracted to a man that had self confidence and didn't whine like a little girly,geeze you strike out move on to someone else,everytime your rejected learn from your mistake and pretty soon you'll have your game on,worked for me,I was always playing sports not many chicks played on boys team so I had to learn for myself,these losers are expecting ladys to flock to them,geeze try cleaning up your apartment,take better care of your personal appearance,learn to speak in a proper manner,heck now I have them trippin over their walking canes lol

Only one video was still working since I didn't see the thread the first time around. Sounded like a bunch of mindless nonsense.

But this quote from the OP concerns me:

Originally posted by FL2008
Do you suffer from it? You may. 1 and 10 men will nevr find a partner in their lives. You can blame the Cia, Illumanati and Feminism for that.

Why is it that women internalize rejection and blame themselves while so many men externalize the rejection? My favorite is, 'I asked her out but she said no. She must be a lesbian.'

The CIA/Illuminati is definitely a first, though. I'll be sure to use this one as a gentle let down next time.

'I'm really into you but due to some insidious Illuminati plots, our love simply cannot be. It's not you. It's the Illuminati.'

And I thought, 'Sorry. Married,' was easy.

I had forgotten about posting on here

I have a revised comment.

First off, I don't know why I made the nwo comment, but perhaps the answer to that was on the 2 missing videos.

Anyways..where is the evidence, that this was the cia ?

"You can blame the Cia, Illumanati and Feminism for that. Here are some videos to get you educated on the subject. "

Since nobody mentioned anything about the cia, illuminati or feminism being responsible for this, it must not have been on any of the videos at all, and was just thrown in there as spin.

I have to agree with most of the posters, that this was more likely self inflicted. Society may contribute a bit to some of this, but the truth is, they haven't yet learned to cope. Maybe they're just in a rut and need to move or just get active in other areas instead of feeding the pity party.

[edit on 18-11-2008 by toasted]