Why can't I be one of those people?

I wish I could be one of those people who loves college. My girlfriend is that way. She just loves the thought of being immersed in her academic environment. Making friends, hanging out in dorms, going to parties and learning together... All of this makes me feel sick! Well, not so much the making friends part, but just the whole college environment...I'd much rather go home at the end of the day, or better yet just skip all that crap and start a career. I would absolutely positively never want to live in a dorm. I'm trudging my way through college for one reason and one reason only - it's what I have to do. In today's world, it's not a very smart move to try to move forward without a degree, and that's going to become increasingly more true as the years go by. Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm grateful for this opportunity to succeed, but I supposed I'm envious of these people who are able to enjoy this experience. I mean, why is it that to some college seems like this utopian learning environment where everyone can play frisbee and hacky sac, learning and laughing together, but to me it just seems like slow Hell? I'm 21, yet I feel like some bitter, crusty old man yelling at the neighborhood kids because they're having too much fun.

As an aside - I'm planning on becoming a police officer (don't need a degree for that,) but I'm majoring in global business as a fall-back, and I've also been told that the degree will help me in the force. Once I've joined, I plan on going to college part time. Perhaps the fact that college isn't my main focus is contributing to my bitterness.

Sorry you're feeling so frustrated, Herman. However, I did not go to college because I hated school even though I was a good student and regret that decision everyday. Just thinking of the things that I could be doing if I would have continued. Don't get me wrong, I love my life now and am happier than I've ever been (when my teenager is in a good mood), but sometimes I just feel that I had/have way more to offer.

So hang in there. You will have plenty, plenty, plenty of time to kick back at the end of the day, but if you don't stick it out you won't have a career...just a job.

Good luck to you friend.

Hello Herman.

Sometimes we go so long at not being open, choosing to remain introverted, that the whole idea of social & academic environment seems pretentious or contrived. However, more times than not it is a direct result of not being able to genuinely relate to their comfort. So we let it bother us.

Try to look at the world like they are, "Just doing the best that they know how," and trying to be happy as much as possible. We create our own discomfort.

There is a few different things that relate to your situation, imho.

1). Everyone should genuinely desire knowledge, and the journey to ascertain it. Some people like to share in that process, others like to discern independently at first. But everyone should yearn for knowledge, and make it a staple in their lives.

2). If you have trouble being open to social graces, perhaps it is because you have trained your mind, over the recent years, to become introverted? If this is the case, you must identify and make the conscience effort to re-adequate yourself to those environment. Over time, you will replace those negative feelings for positives social moments of bliss.

Just my thoughts anyway.

AAC

Hey herman,

When you wrote that you didn't like college, I was surprised at first.

Then I read more about your girlfriend and dorm life, parties etc.

See, I loved college, but I liked the other part. The academic part. Instead of going to class, I'd be chatting up the special reserves desk to get in to the rare books collection, and finding UT's acumulation of grimiores: Barrett's The Magus, or Remigius' Daemonolatrea. I'd spend hours lost in the law library looking at the "annotated" copy of the Warren report, or in the history stacks reading original galleys of Frank J. Dobie's Coronado's Children: Tales of Lost Mines and Buried Treasures of the Southwest.

The conversations with professors about suppressed research, or the construction of the pyramids, or anti-grav propulsion systems. Professors who first introduced me to Qabalah.

I thought those memories were pretty positive.

I can see how if parties and dorms are the total of your college experience, it'd seem like you were missing something.

.

haha you already know how I feel about this too bro.

What can we do though? It is what it is.

Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people and hanging out and stuff; the thing I just hate is having to take courses of crap I don't need. And like I said before, I know I've learned WAY more from the books I read on my own than I ever have in class.

Originally posted by hsur2112
Sorry you're feeling so frustrated, Herman. However, I did not go to college because I hated school even though I was a good student and regret that decision everyday. Just thinking of the things that I could be doing if I would have continued. Don't get me wrong, I love my life now and am happier than I've ever been (when my teenager is in a good mood), but sometimes I just feel that I had/have way more to offer.

So hang in there. You will have plenty, plenty, plenty of time to kick back at the end of the day, but if you don't stick it out you won't have a career...just a job.

Good luck to you friend.

You can go back to college whenever you want... Student loans are easy to get... Very easy to pay back... Lots of options to go back... The schools usually take care of everything because they want the money... They do everything they can to get you in the door... I've been to school 3 times now... No degree... Will probably go back again someday... Just sayin, it' seasy to get in..

Originally posted by dr_strangecraft

See, I loved college, but I liked the other part. The academic part. Instead of going to class, I'd be chatting up the special reserves desk to get in to the rare books collection, and finding UT's acumulation of grimiores: Barrett's The Magus, or Remigius' Daemonolatrea. I'd spend hours lost in the law library looking at the "annotated" copy of the Warren report, or in the history stacks reading original galleys of Frank J. Dobie's Coronado's Children: Tales of Lost Mines and Buried Treasures of the Southwest.

The conversations with professors about suppressed research, or the construction of the pyramids, or anti-grav propulsion systems. Professors who first introduced me to Qabalah.

Just wanted to highlight these comments by the Dr., since they were virtually identical to my college experience. Except for a handful of other students who were really serious about their academics, I just didn't give a damn about the parties, social scene, all that. Indeed, I became good friends with a lot of the professors, to the point they started treating me like a junior colleague, helping them with their classes, going to conferences with them. Those conversations were exhilarating.

Herman, perhaps you haven't found your one true love yet, in terms of a subject of study. Like you said earlier, bachelor's degrees are becoming more necessary, but having a degree in just about anything will often fit the bill. You're taking a practical course of study, but is your heart oriented to poetry, philosophy, history, physics, or something else. Find your love, and college will be one of the best times of your life.

reply to post by Herman


1) You've analyzed your situation well. You're "doing what you have to do." Kudos.

2) Remember that college isn't for everyone.

3) A lot of it might have to do with your age. You might find academics more enjoyable as you get into your later 20s. That's what happened to me.