Be honest. Do you guys spy on your loved ones?

Originally posted by jpm1602
Anti Tyrant, I was with you all the way up to 'in the case of drug abuse or nanny abuse surviellance should still be contraindicated', or something like that.

[edit on 4/13/2008 by jpm1602]

You mean; "Otherwise, in the case of nanny cams and drug ABUSE, i still see no need for covert survellience, as after all if the camera is turned off, you know something is happening that shouldn't be".

Slightly different, wouldn't you think?

edit; if you failed to notice that i was specifically making a comment on COVERT surveillance, i apologise.

[edit on 13-4-2008 by Anti-Tyrant]

Well, I don't call it spying, I cann it spot-checking and my girls are very aware that it happens. I told both of them before I took this action that I would be checking up on them. Of course, they both think I can hack the net. Anyway, I do some simple website checking and a do have a key logger installed. I block inappropriate websites.

I look at it this way. These are my girls, nobody elses. My wife and I have the responsibility to raise them right. I see far too many parents these days who allow their kids to do anything they want. Or, the kids are medicated to control their behavior. I read too many reports about kids who do something stupid with the ignorant parents bemoaning, "If we only knew."

As long as they live in our house, they realize that anything they have is open to search. Every so often we might take a peek at a few things in their room. We never find anything and that only tells us we're doing our job. Same goes for the PC. I tell my girls that I trust them because they show me that they are trustworthy. I also tell them that I don't trust any of their friends. I've seen some of the junk that my girls' friends have written on Myspace of facebook. Those kind of "friends" are deleted and blocked.

Parents need to be more involved in their kids lives. I think this is one of the areas that could use a good shoring up.

Please, please for God's sake don't ever apologise to me again. You are stating your views, as I am mine. That's what this place is about. I respect your views as I hope you respect mine in a hopefully mind expanding forum. No worries.

reply to post by jpm1602


I was apologising for not making myself clear, not for my opinion.

Moderator, Please Move This Thread

This despicable subject has no place in the Science & Technology forum. If it has to be on ATS at all, it should be in BelowTopSecret.

Would some kindly moderator please move the thread? Thank you!

Originally posted by Astyanax
Moderator, Please Move This Thread

This despicable subject has no place in the Science & Technology forum. If it has to be on ATS at all, it should be in BelowTopSecret.

Would some kindly moderator please move the thread? Thank you!

Well, this guy is the reason i seldom care to participate on this forum anymore. Not only because of him, but he tops the iceberg. Or maybe he is the part below the waterline

Anywho, I totaly agree ..

Well, I've never been married and I have no children, so it'd be difficult to project with certainty what I might do, depending on the situation, but I doubt that I'd resort to spying.

I can speak in regards to the relationships I've had. I prefer immediate confrontation to spying. Spying just seems like too much work to me. If something seems amiss, a couple should communicate about it. End of story. If one person can't trust the content of the conversation and feels the other is lying, then deep problems exist and one should carefully consider whether the relationship should be maintained.

I've never known anyone to regain my trust after a deep rift. Once trust is gone, all is gone. If it ever comes to the point where I feel I have to start spying on someone, then our relationship is essentially over -- either because I have developed trust issues or because the other person is lying. Either way, there's no coming back from that.

/tn.

First, to JediMiller, I highly doubt you remember a time when there was no cameras.

Secondly, spying is all relative and everyone who does it will justify it in some way. Sadly for some it becomes the norm to check up on people in their lives.

This is a time when trust is a 4 letter word, and sometimes it may be necessary to show people you have an eye on them if not only to show you care about them.

reply to post by SantaClaus


And yet, in the rare instance, there are times when it is nessecary because of the simple fact that it is the only way to move forward.

People have a tendancy to become trapped within their own routines, and for people who spy on others, some become almost schizophrenic about it - similar to the way people who document cataclysmic events with their video cameras do, they forget that they are experiencing the events as well as recording them.

Like with news reporters in warzones who elect not to get involved with the story as it unfolds.

For those who are being documented, upon seeing a man with a video camera, shoving it in his face as he tries to move a mountain of rubble in order to save his family, he does not ask why the reporter isn't helping.

Does the observer feel that he is helping in some way by documenting the events?

Wouldn't the observer's time be better spent getting his hands dirty?

I believe that in many cases with the people who spy on their loved ones, they are merely afraid of the truth.

Fear is the greatest enemy known to man, for fear causes us to mistrust one another.

It also causes us to hesitate to act, when even the smallest action can mean the difference between a great loss and a great victory*.



*For example; Instead of recording the man trying to save his family, simply by making others aware in the immediate vicinity that this individual has a crisis on his hands will lend the unfortunate soul more help than he could ever dream of.

This is the kind of 'great victory' i speak of - the difference between disaster and Salvation.





[edit on 13-4-2008 by Anti-Tyrant]

Is my opinion on the matter worthless, or have i struck a chord?

Remember, don't observe, ACT.

Do i have to illustrate my point further?

It’s been said that ALL THAT'S NESSECARY FOR EVIL TO CONQUER IS FOR GOOD MEN TO DO NOTHING.

edit; Oh, this thread is getting revived at an opportune time.

edit2: amazing, i leave ats for half a minute and someone responds.

*starting to go crazy*

[edit on 13-4-2008 by Anti-Tyrant]

reply to post by jedimiller


I don't know for what purpose are you collecting this information, or what use will my answer be to you, but I can tell you this:

I've had people's diaries and other personal papers virtually displayed before my eyes (the owner forgot it), with nobody around. I did NOT read them, and I did not want to read them.
I put myself in their shoes - and my trust actually HAS been betrayed many times - and said: NO.


So there.
Happy now?





[edit on 13-4-2008 by Vanitas]

Originally posted by Astyanax
Moderator, Please Move This Thread

This despicable subject has no place in the Science & Technology forum. If it has to be on ATS at all, it should be in BelowTopSecret.

"Despicable"...?
The subject is despicable?
I think not.







[edit on 13-4-2008 by Vanitas]

I remember when there were no computers and no cameras and people trusted eachother.

I remember it, too.
As a matter of fact, there are no cameras in my home even now...

And yes, I remember trusting a friend (or should I say "friend"?) of mine - and she still went through my personal papers while she was staying under my roof. (They were stored in the room where she was staying. You see, I didn't realise anyone could even think of snooping around their friend's home.)

And my father was like that.
But that's different.
It is NOT excusable, but it is different.

I have not spied on anyone before, but as the mother of four kids this is how it goes around here. My oldest two are still fairly young, 9 and 10. They each have an email account that I set up for them with their full knowledge that I had access to that since it was a parental account. Now I have never felt the need to look at their emails. They are good kids, have wonderful grades and we have no behavioral issues. If for whatever reason any of that changed and I felt the need to know more about what was going on in their life that they were not telling me then I might take a look at it. Still I would go other routes before I felt it necessary to do that. I am fortunate enough that I know all of my boys friends and they all like to hang out here. I know where they are at all times and what they are doing. I also have the luxury of being a stay at home mom so I am almost always here and or with my kids at all times. When they go off to a friends house then chances are I have taken them there.

I want them to have their privacy, but it is not a right, it is something they earn through their behavior. They have never given me any reason to distrust them so I have no reason to not allow them their privacy. I love my boys and going around spying on them for no reason says that I distrust and do not respect them. If I have done my job as a parent right then I need to trust they will continue to behave in a manner that deserves respect.

As far as my spouse goes, why on earth would I want to spy on him? LOL Again, he has never ever given me any reason to distrust. I have always told him if he is going to go do something that is contradictory to friendship, love and marriage to just have the balls to say so and we would work things out from there. I trust him, he trusts me so there is no spying to be had. Besides, I have four kids and a house to run, I have neither the time nor the inclination to spy on anyone.

reply to post by jedimiller


No, I don't. Part of love is respect. Between people who hide things from each other, there is no real love.

reply to post by jedimiller



" Be honest. Do you guys spy on your loved ones? "


I thought that was the job of a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at how well trusting went with COLUMBINE! Hello! Those parents said they trusted their kids.

Parents who do not check on their kids are a hidden menace to society and themselves, and to their kids. Because if they don't NIP the BAD BEHAVIOR in the BUD, then it'll blossom into a disaster.

Don't let politically correct dictate common sense, and or, good parenting, because they're in opposition to each other.

my parents trusted me, and i never gave them any reason not to. i wasnt' a perfect kid, but i didn't have any real behavioral problems, i didn't dress like a thug, didn't hang out with kids that did drugs, although a few of my friends have gone down that road after high school...anyway, no unless i have a good reason to, i wouldn't. even with my son, i have no intent of spying on him, but i shouldn't need to if i stay involved in his life.

as for my wife, i know she hasn't done anything wrong and if she were thinking about it or doing it, i would be able to tell without spying. some may think i'm naive for saying that. i say you don't know what my relationship is like. =P

I spy on my loved ones.
I also spy on people I dislike.
In addition to that I also spy on people I barely know.
Chances are, if I know your name I'm reading your txt.

As a parent freakin right I spy on my kids, and everyone they hang out with.
That being said I have an open door policy with my children, and they usually come to me with everything, I don't need to follow them around.
Heck, my two eldest boys are 21 and 19 respectively, and will still tell me where they are going and when they will be home, so I don't worry.

As for a life partner, or ex life partner...
I know Iam being watched, so I watch right back. Tit for Tat.