I loved her so much...why is she doing this to me?

Have sex with another woman. It'll change your perception immediately.

Trust me, I went from wanting to slit my wrists, to living life again.

It works.

Originally posted by hmistry
Have sex with another woman. It'll change your perception immediately.

Trust me, I went from wanting to slit my wrists, to living life again.

It works.

Haha, yup, that's how one-itis is cured.

Got agree with the two above.

Get back on that horse, sheep, pig, goat...

What ever you can get you grubby little paws on.

The break-up: yeah that happens, such is life!

MonKey

Honestly it sounds like you were a bit smothering here. The first thing you have to understand is to stop listening and doing what women say they want, by doing this stuff you are not being yourself. Also she didnt just overnight just decide she was done with you, they just dont up and leave they drop hints and clues and try to talk to you about it You however didnt listen and the result of the not listening or paying attention got you right where you are now.

And one more thing do try to understand this women do not want a man who is clingy and needy from what you describe you were doing both. You must be independent and able to function on your own face it the reason they find all the wonderful little things so great is because they dont happen everyday.

Wait make up my mind here. Shesh!

The first thing you have to understand is to stop listening and doing what women say they want, by doing this stuff you are not being yourself.

Ok don't listen and don't do what women say they want for you to do... gotcha!

You however didnt listen and the result of the not listening or paying attention got you right where you are now.

But but but you just said not to listen and do what the woman wants?!?

and you ladies wonder why men don't get you I swear this post made about as much sense as ignoring a woman to get her to like you. Nothing personal, but you can't just tell us that we shouldn't listen to you women then turn around and leave us for not listening to you.

This is madness!


Madness?!? THIS....IS....WOMAN!!!! (kicks Wukky off into a pit)


[edit on 3/27/2008 by whatukno]

The two areas of which we are taught almost nothing is: Marriage & Parenting.

There is no shame in going for therapy. It is either; let this eat you alive one inch at a time, or get help and get over it.

We pass on what we have been taught. The only way to change things is to get new information! I had a very unsuccessful first marriage and so decided that my way did not work! I sought out professional help and then when the time was ready I met my new mate. I have the best marriage ever and my mate is my best friend.

If we come from dysfunction, we play out that dysfunction in all our relationships until we learn a new way to have a relationship. Learning new boundaries and communication skills.

Often the biggest reason why a person leaves a relationship is that their needs are not getting met. If a relationship is on solid ground where it is safe to communicate, often things work out and the relationship stays in tact. Sometimes it takes a professional to be a mediator until one can accomplish it.

Try as you may to find it, but there is no such thing as "love".

At least not in the way were once lead to believe :shk:

Generation after generation America evolves into it's most selfish state. Things like "honor " and "commitment" no longer hold value. The romance and chivalry of yesteryear have been forgoed in lieu of "the next best thing", and there will always be something better.

Afterall, if you hold such high regard for her, doesn't she deserve it?

The grass on the other side is ALWAYS greener. The only thing you can do about it is go get your own bag of fertilizer.

Originally posted by hmistry
Have sex with another woman. It'll change your perception immediately.

Trust me, I went from wanting to slit my wrists, to living life again.

It works.

I'll second this.
Get your sex on and don't be shy about it.

Im not in a state of major depression or anything like that.

I dont think I was smothering her...I just thought I was a pretty good partner, thought things were going well then...BAM.

And there is nothing wrong with finding one woman.

But I also believe the reason why there are so many dick guys around is because they were dicked over by a woman.

Woman complain that guys are jerks but, if you women werent so complicated maybe there wouldnt be so many male jerks...

Why should we do all the work in the relationship? Why do we have to be the one that approaches you, takes you out...etc

Why isnt it mutal.

You lead us on...then drop us...and you wonder why so many guys treat women like crap?

Dont make no sense to me.


Second point to my fellow males...how come when you KNOW that a girl has a significant other...you have to pursue her? Shes spoken for. Go find your own.

But then I think...well maybe because he was dicked over by a guy who stole his girl. now he in turn wants it to do it to someone else.

Its a cycle.

And no offense ladies...but I think you are WAY more to blame for the dark side of love.

Ah love what a wonderful thing isn't it? Makes you just want to run to the hilltops and scream "MOTHER (BLANK)ER!"

I have known ONE woman that was absolutely perfect in every way for me. But it was a summer love affair (I love those) and by the fall she was off to college, we broke up with good feelings towards each other, we didn't want to get into a long term relationship cause those suck ass.

Oh well it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all or some other BS people spout.

The best piece of advice I think I can give you, one broken hearted man to another is, Don't worry about it, don't try looking for love, when love is meant to come your way it will sneak up behind you and BAM! you'll be in that blissful nightmare once again. (yea!)

reply to post by Perfectenemy05


You gotta understand hun that many women have the same problems with men that you are accusing women of doing. Why would women get together and talk about men all the time if we didn't feel that men were complicated as well? I can't tell you how many failed relationships I have had with men where I felt pretty much the same way you are saying you feel right now. I was confused, going over everything, swearing that I did everything I thought they wanted me to...yadda yadda yadda...you know how it goes.

It's not a gender specific thing. I think it's a person specific thing. We all have had good and bad relationships with the opposite sex, bad break ups are just one of the things you may have to go through in finding the one. Do what you need to do to heal through this relationship and then keep looking.

Originally posted by snowflake_obsidian
I hate to say this hun, but maybe she decided that you weren't that one special person for her.

And yes, we all want the guy who is willing to go the mile for us, but we also value our personal time and we need a healthy amount of space. Maybe I am just assuming here but it sounds like you are/were smothering the girl.

in addition to this post, and to what was said earlier. appearing to be obsessive does frighten most people. I had an girlfriend that was obsessive, everything she bought me had soemthing to do with us being together forever, anything she bought. it could have been a milkshake and she would turn it into something having to do with us being together forever. and that was just with stuff she bought. stuff she made was a different story. next level of insanity.

women are like flowers, you cant keep watering them and throwing fertilizers on them. you will either drown them or you will burn their roots. now they do like it when you do stuff for them, just dont over due it. yes it can be done.

thats from my experience. of course im divorced but i have learned on the way. just waiting for God to provide that second chance of a perfect woman.

reply to post by whatukno


First off the two are not the same kind of listening, dont listen to the nonsense that you hear your girlfriends talk about when they are painting a picture of the idealized man. If you follow those directives you become little more than a doormat and that isnt what they want.

The time to listen is when they are discussing relationship issues they will only clue you into it or try to talk about it for so long before you are done. And yes while the two are not completely mutually exclusive for the most part they are. In what this case appears to be is one where he listened to the wrong thing. he turned himself into the proverbial doormat and didnt listen to or notice something was amiss and that is where he shoudl have been paying attention.

Originally posted by asala
Its sad but sometimes people just fall oout of love, sadly its happened to many of us,

But you need to think about you now, Get out there and meet other people, call up some buddies and get them to help you through this,

This is exactly true, start thinking about yourself and start working on some of your favorite hobbies that you used to have before she came into your life. Get ahold of some friends and see if they want to get out and do something fun for an evening.

You might be surprised at how you feel at the end of the day.

Star

Deleted post!
Was meant to be controversial to trigger a discussion, but after thinking about it: it may end up hurting someone, so deleted!
[edit on 17-5-2008 by Aldolas]

[edit on 17-5-2008 by Aldolas]

[edit on 17-5-2008 by Aldolas]

[edit on 17-5-2008 by Aldolas]

I was "someone's entire world" once. He made sure I knew it.. and when it fell apart he decided it was my responsibilty to fix it and threatened suicide if I left [being that I was his entire world n all ].

She's not doing anything to you. You're doing it to yourself.. I suggest you move on.

My question was more for the ladies in that why is it that you all talk and talk about meeting that guy who is willing to do anything for you and all that stuff, you find one, then give up on him the moment things turn kinda ugly.

Please define what you mean by "ugly".

Even if he is willing to fix things...then you get things like "some things just cant be fixed"

Some things cant be fixed. Just because you say sorry to someone doesn't mean they are obligated to forgive and forget.. and it certainly doesn't mean they should stay. Depends on the situation.

..and as for women 'leading men on' and leaving them to do all the work; men can think for themselves and certainly do not do all the work. You speak about women only liking jerks yet your opinion of women in general seems pretty low. this may put women off dating you.

[edit on 19-5-2008 by riley]

To me it seems you loved this woman so much you did everything for her. You put her on a pedestal and this is what caused the rupture.
Being too nice, in the long run, is a turn off for many women.