When People Take Advantage

I wasn't sure where to post this...but since it is definitely a pet peeve of mine I decided Rants was the correct forum.

In the city I live in there are definitely good and bad areas. Unfortunately right now we live in one of the lower end areas. There are a lot of govt/private corporation/church sponsored free programs in this area that I think are just wonderful for the parents and kids in this area that maybe wouldn't be able to participate due to lack of finances.

Some of these programs are:

- breakfast program before school
- after-school program with healthy snacks and homework help
- beginning of school year kids get free backpack filled with school supplies
- free new shoes at the beginning of school year
- school has a clothes closet where local donations are taken in and parents/students can help themselves
- Once a week trip to a local rec centre for gym time/computer time
- several churches have kids clubs
- weekend program for kids to go on trips, get togethers and so on
- church sponsored summer camp programs
- Hampers for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving etc

There are a ton more I'm sure, these are just the ones I know personally.
These programs are well needed in this area, and I have volunteered personally for several of them. The problem is, many of the kids using these services do NOT need them.

Not that I blame the kids, it's the parents. My kids' school has 300 children attending and one morning we served 210 kids in the breakfast program!! Some of these kids are dropped off at the school in their parent's brand new cars, with their Columbia jackets, and American Eagle clothing. Can these parents truly not afford to buy a box of Cheerios??!!
I don't think that's the case; unless of course they've spent so much money on these luxuries that they can no longer afford the basic care of a child.

Personally, I think it's laziness and wanting to "get rid" of your child an hour early. The after school program is nearly 3 hours long...again giving the parents the luxury of not having their kids in their hair after school. This program offers a healthy snack, an hour of homework help and then some much needed exercise in the gym playing various sports. All three of these things are achievable AT HOME if you're willing to put in the time and effort.

The weekend kids club takes these kids on awesome trips..the zoo, local indoor playgrounds, local fairs, amusement parks..the list goes on. All at no cost to parents. The majority of the kids I see on the school bus that picks them up right from their home probably wouldn't get the chance to visit these places with finances being in the way. But there's still always that same group of kids that you KNOW shouldn't be there.

The list goes on and on. These parents are taking advantage of these programs on a daily basis and it's starting to really get to me. I have an acquaintance that called me up one day to ask if I'd put my name on the list to receive a Christmas hamper...what the heck?! We have NO trouble affording a good Christmas dinner and this person makes probably twice the money we do. When I challenged her on the morality of doing this her defense was "well the hampers are there, why not? And, if they don't get rid of all the hampers the food will just go bad anyhow..."

I saw red, and she knew it and quickly ended the conversation. My kids sometimes complain that they don't get to go to these clubs, on the trips, eat at the breakfast club with their friends. I try my best to explain the reason behind these programs and hope I'm getting through to them.

I know that it would be nearly impossible for these programs to draw a line at who can and can't attend. Short of asking for parents income tax returns to determine their level of income, they take any and all kids.

GRRRRRR, I'm hoping this is somewhat coherent as it really gets to me and I get verbal diarrhea over it LOL

Michelle

Sorry, ran out of room and wanted to add that I do understand sometimes people fall on hard times. Even people with decent incomes can come across unexpected financial burdens, losing their job, cutback on hours etc. We've had it happen to us a few times. I'm not talking about these parents but rather the parents that since I've become involved with the schools 9 years ago are STILL sending their kids to these programs.

Michelle

Hi michelle, nice to read your stuff, so where did you say all of this was going on? and on topic i've got no kids, so this thread doesn't apply too much for me.but i'm all for education.

I can kind of understand the non-needy kids at the breakfast program and the after-school program. It may not necessarily be because parents want their kids out of their hair but may have more to do with their work schedules. Many times parents work schedules start an hour or two before school starts and ends an hour or two after school ends. Daycare rates are through the roof and not to mention, I trust my kids school more than I trust daycare providers. So I can kind of understand that one.

However with the weekend program and the holiday programs I completly agree. My fiance and I live check to check and some weeks only have little to spend on groceries but we have never went to a food shelf or asked for help from any programs such as that. That is going a little too far.

Yes, I agree and do know of some kids in the before and after school programs that are there due to parent's work schedules. That I am fine with. Before I began working from home I also had to make daycare arrangements for my kids for these before and after hours. For a 1/2 hour before school and an hour after school for just my oldest I was paying $15/day. $300 was a lot to put out even with both my husband and I working fulltime.

The ones I'm focused on are the parents that clearly don't work, or only one of the parents work. Obviously the non-working parents are restricted financially...but the after school program doesn't offer anything that a parent couldn't do at home...for free. Homework help and time to run off some energy in the gym can be achieved at home and at the local park or playground.

I just feel like they're teaching their kids the wrong thing. Take take take advantage even when you don't need it. And I don't have the time/energy/couldn't be bothered to make you a bowl of cereal or some toast so go get a free breakfast at school.

The other issue is that our kids are already at school 6-7 hours a day. Throw in an hour before school and another 3 after school. On top of that 1.5 hours at the local church's kids clubs in the evening and who's really raising these kids... Not to mention the free school supplies, shoes and clothes.

It's just sad to me. And my worry is that with so many people taking advantage the people funding these projects will pull them due to the rising financial demands. And then where do the kids that truly need these things go?

Michelle

I completly agree with the last point you made, which is another reason why I never have put my children in real daycare. In times that I was a single parent, I had two "daycare" providers. My mom (their grandmother) and my best friend who was like an aunt to them. People my kids knew as family. Parents aren't raising their kids anymore. Women who choose to stay at home with their kids as opposed to work are actually looked down upon these days and schools seem to think they have more say than parents do as to what goes on in a childs existance.

So yes, it is sad that parents who are at home send their kids to these programs just because. I mean, if it's once a week or once a month maybe I can see that. I have been a stay at home mom and hey lets face it, sometimes we get frustrated and need a break. But sending them everyday is just ridiculous.