current love VS your first true love......

I've been posting alot today but Iwant to start this thread because i've been thinking about this for awhile now.


I didn't like my husband at first when I met him, I mean I liked him on the internet because he was a smart ass and was definitely straight to the point, I thought he was awesome...

Until we met. blaaaah... I was thought, what the hell??? He looks like a hobbit. I didn't want to see him again because he wasn't my type at all... He was bald, short, and had a funny eye. Not to mention he reminded me of peguin in batman...

So as time went on we just talked on the phone, he had a very sexy voice, and was still so intelligent...

he fell in love with me 3 weeks into our so called relationship. I however, didn't like his physical appearance. I wasn't straight with him and hurt him many times, until I pulled my head out of my ass....

I thought you know what, this guy is the nicest, sweetest, strong minded individual i've ever met, he's patriotic, passionate about freedoms, sensible and can stand on his own two feet like real man..

Looks wasn't an issue anymore.. It's just fizzled out and I saw him for the first time... he WAS good lookin, he had the sexiest eyes, and cute little freckle on his face.
He was tough lookin and had a great body suddenly.

woah! This hobbit dude disappeared and now I have this handsome prince... I got the best of both worlds for once.........

So we married 6 months later......



Here's the issue:

I haven't felt the same kind of love I had for my very first boyfriend....... Even though he broke my heart, I still loved him and thought I would be with him forever. I would of done anything for him, he loved me too, but I left for home and he told i'd meet lot's of other guys and to start dating he said i'd be happy... That killed me, I was crushed for awhile after that.

got over it, and dated a few times after and now i'm married, but still haven't had that same feeling ever since.

Am I in love? Or do I just feel lucky to have such a great guy now and love "our relationship" It's a totally healthy relationship, we share the same ideologies, both have the same epistimological base, get along great, fight about stupid *, but that feeling isn't there.

In my heart, I know I couldn't live without him, he's definitely my match, but that strong feeling is lacking..

Anybody?? help please.. I've been pondering this for quite some time now and still haven't been able to shed light on this.

I don't know if I could say anything that can help you, but I remember my first, I was so stuck on that # forever man. Thought it was going to be the one already. lol some # that is, no soulmates... for me atleast.


Just this hollowed out callused shell that gets thicker with each passing day.

My advice may not be too valuable, since I have never had mutual love before.

Maybe this new boy is just not your type? I mean you may not truly have fallen in love with him.

However, maybe it just has not happened yet, try what made it happen the first time, think about him, look at him again with 'new eyes', and see him for what you married him for, perhaps the transformation from hobbit to great looking boy will occur once more.

Originally posted by Lysergic
I don't know if I could say anything that can help you, but I remember my first, I was so stuck on that # forever man. Thought it was going to be the one already. lol some # that is, no soulmates... for me atleast.


Just this hollowed out callused shell that gets thicker with each passing day.

You'll find him..... It will take time, but stop being so bitter or you'll never see the end of the rainbow...

Have u ever tried beer? *hugs*
i'm havin one for ya right now partner..

Things will get better for u, but with the name lysergic I think maybe the drugs maybe adding to your depressed state of mind??

*hugs*

Because I seem to be somewhat psychic, I'm predicting that you'll meet a great guy in june...
this will be the time... keep me posted.

lol oh #, please don't let it be a guy.

drugs? mmm, mostly just weed and alcohol.

no acid for a long time

/cries

[Edited on 17-2-2004 by Lysergic]

I hope you find love as well soon, you do seem quite bitter about how you have not yet. Just try to keep your hopes up.

Oh, well maybe that is the problem, perhaps a boy would be a fresh change to scenery, and maybe her prediction shall come true.

^^
rofl

a boy hahaha woo!

I could see how this could turn into a mirror thread of the 1 DaRage started...

If I turn gay in June... lol.

the hobbit is the prince now, i've married him...

the first love happened 5 yrs ago.. thats why i know that that feeling was so strong because it's still fresh.

This man I married is everything the other wasn't.


First let's call my first love bob, bob was a dick, i dated his friend before me and him hooked up, I actually didn't like him either because he was arrogant.. So I called him on it and that made us closer, however, he was alot messing around with other girls, and since I liked him so much I thought we'll just mess around on eachother, and so it happened, until I moved in with him..
Our bond grew so much stronger, he became a more responsible boyfriend, we made plans for our future, we Never" fought, it was a discustingly perfect relationship.
But I thought I should move back home and go to school, so I did.

he still told me we would be together forever and wrote me and called me every other day....
So when I got the phone call about how there are lot's of guys out there that would love to go out with me, that killed me... A nice hot knife piercing through my heart, I couldn't breathe. I swear to god, i must of lied on the floor balling my eyes out for weeks.
That feeling of love was there, and I still feel it in my heart when I think of back then..

It's now the present and this man I married is everything I ever wished for, and I got it, but that strong feeling isn't there.. But oddly enough, I love him to pieces, I just don't have that passionate buring fire I had for "bob".

why don't I have it if I love him more then "stupid bob"
??? Cuz bob, was a dick... And I see that now.

and this guy is just everything all rolled up into one..
Euphoria is an awesome feeling, and when I look into his eyes I think wow, how the # did I get so lucky.

bob can suck my dick... but back to this "feeling"

I want that channeled into my current relationship..
I don't know if that is just supposed to be for the first time love u have, but it's weird that when u meet your match that feeling isn't placed on him, although u like him better then the first one. odd...

Originally posted by Lysergic
lol oh #, please don't let it be a guy.

LOL!!! You're definitly too funny today, man.

And TrueLies, our buddy Lysergic here is seeking a women, not a man, let's make that clear hehehe...

On-Topic...

I think I know what you mean, but I think you are wrong about something, what you are living now, IS true love.

I sometime hitted on a girl the first time I saw her, I also thought that THIS was love, in the past, but turned out I was wrong. That's just a stong physical attraction. Or any other kind of mutual attraction.

Just take the girl I date now. When I first saw her, I thought "Hey, she's cute" but I wasn't blinded by her beauty, or I didn't completly fell in love with her, at the first look. Maybe that's just because I'm older or less of a fool that I used to be, but I think not.

Cuz I learned to know her, talked with her a lot, and after that I began to feel somethign for her. that, in my opinion, is real love. Way more than just mutual attraction.

It's a more deeper understanding of the other person that makes love come true, and it's what gives it all his meaning.

[Edited on 17-2-2004 by m0rbid]

Originally posted by Lysergic
^^
rofl

a boy hahaha woo!

I could see how this could turn into a mirror thread of the 1 DaRage started...

If I turn gay in June... lol.

I thought u were gay? That avatar kind makes me wonder...

If it's a girl u want she won't be around for another 8 months, when I say eight it's either going to be in 8 months or in august... I've never predicted before, but I have a strong feeling about this.

Gives u something to look forward to.

[Edited on 17-2-2004 by TrueLies]

Lysergic,

your avatar is creepy... Funny, but creepy...


And M0rbid,

Your absolutely right........ He was damn fine... Very nice body, beautiful blue eyes, and a chase... The chase was part of it if I do remember correctly, and when I got him, it was the best medicine ever...
That is not true love.....

I am in true love.... awesome..

I am glad to hear you have realized you are in love. It must be nice.

Do you think first love is more special for some reason? Which is why you have so many thoughts about the past of him. I wonder, and what reason for this would there be, maybe just the mind remembers the first love...

Originally posted by QuestForSafety
I am glad to hear you have realized you are in love. It must be nice.

Do you think first love is more special for some reason? Which is why you have so many thoughts about the past of him. I wonder, and what reason for this would there be, maybe just the mind remembers the first love...

I'm guessing because it's the "first" strong feeling when your young... It's like getting your first car... Except of course your dealing with feelings...

I am reminded of it because I remember how good it felt to be in love, and how perfect everything seemed to be.
And at that age nothing really compares to that feeling...
It's so vivid and real you want to take care of that relationship. And yes I think that the mind remembers the first love because it was new and exciting... The mind loved it... All chemicals reactions going on in the brain... I'm sure mine enjoyed it... First love is very special because it's a time in your life where your starting a new phase, your experiencing new feelings, and basically it's just part of growing up....

Later of course, you learn that there will be many loves, but the first one might be stuck in your head because it's a first time experience....

I am Married to my first love we didnt meet till I was 28 but till then I never felt much of anything toward any woman.

So she was the first woman you ever loved in your life? Well it is good you ended up with your first love I suppose, it must make it a bit more special.

I think what makes the first love so "special" is the fact the, most of us, were such innocents at that time...

(Besides the fact of being special in the way every first experience is special, I mean)

[Edited on 17-2-2004 by m0rbid]

I'm no doctor or nothing, but it seems like this husband o yours doesn't turn you on very much. That's "all." So do you want true love or passionate sensuality?

No way, he turns me on.....
I'm not talking about sex, i'm talking about "feeling"....
This isn't about sex.

[Edited on 18-2-2004 by TrueLies]

So she was the first woman you ever loved in your life?

Yep.

I grew up in the land of "Boom Boom one dollar" and when I got out of the Army I lived WAAAAAY back in the woods armed to the teeth and growing dope. Hell half the time I thought I was still in the bush. Till I met her I didnt care about ANYBODY.

Originally posted by m0rbid
I think what makes the first love so "special" is the fact the, most of us, were such innocents at that time...

(Besides the fact of being special in the way every first experience is special, I mean)

[Edited on 17-2-2004 by m0rbid]

Agreed! But I have to say that I have a different feeling about my first love from the rest of you. Without going into a violent rant, this should explain it to you: :bnghd::bnghd::bnghd::bnghd: