legitimize violence 2wards kids

the initial idea i have on thisone that it is wrong not to slap your kids or stir up the dust on their buts sometimes. i am not saying to hit them till they bleed to death.

gentle hits without causing excessive pain can mace all the difference!

and now, the difference:
i observed some extreeeeem cases when kids get lost in their world. and the result:

School shooting is a term popularized in American and Canadian media to describe gun violence at educational institutions, especially the mass murder or spree killing of people connected with an institution. A school shooting can be perpetrated by one or more students, expelled students, alumni, faculty members, or outsiders. Unlike acts of revenge against specific people, school shootings usually involve multiple intended or actual victims, often randomly targeted.

School shootings receive extensive media coverage but are infrequent. They often result in nationwide changes of schools' policies concerning discipline and security. Some experts have described fears about school shootings as a type of moral panic.

(wikipedia)

a small amount of violence is all what kids need to get a grip on reality. a teaching of what pain is (i am largely referring on psychological impact). and the most important:

TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF SELF PRESERVATION.

the second and also the most important part of this, is to isolate the kids after the "fight". this is where the most part of the evolution takes hold. first desperation than unimaginable anger when this settles than he will fell sorry. note that it is extremely hard to estimate the time of isolation for the child. and also take care to be perfect isolation (no tv, no friends, no PC, or other stuff that may interrupt the process up to the point of sorry, he can and up on the point of anger -or even worse: suppress it).

i took one single kit in the face that caused me nosebleeds, other than that all where "educational". and after some good years i realized that i learned not to cause harm, not to torture animals, respect, saying thanks, apologize,... (countless). and the most important:

i cannot feel hate more than 30 secs at a time and just in the most extreme cases.

i never had a (real) fight, i never hit a woman and i am characterized as being to sincere in some cases.
i had and have one girlfriend for almost 3 years, healthy sexual life, a cat and 2 birds(dont know their names in English).
i work with 8 beautyfull women and never cheated.

and i might fight with my own kids some day.

I Have been raised "To treat other people, the way I want them to treat me"

If i did something wrong as a kid, and i did many many times, i got a hard scolding, and eventually or right after, an explanation to what i was doing wrong, and what the consequence of it could be.

I also recieved ultimatums, if i continued to missbehave.

So I learned in a very young age to "Take responsibility for my own actions"

At the age of 6 I was cought stealing a "chocolate frog", my mom forced me to deliver the frog back to the store manager and said "it will be up to the manager what will happen to you".
I was literaly shaking from this, but i returned the frog and the manager gave me a scolding and told me that this could put me in jail, but that I was lucky that day not to go there.
Afterwards my mom forced my to tell my grandmother what had happened, and since i truly respected her, this was very hard for me to do.

But I learned that there was a consequence to my actions.

I have never physically hurt another person
I have never stolen anything since the chocolate frog.
I have always been able to talk my way out of a fight
I practice Jiu-jitsu wich also have a philosophy about avoiding physical attacks

You wont find me shoting up anyone since i don't even believe in guns or violence.

So I see NO reason to slap your children, and believe that slapping your children comes from a lack of selfcontrol and frustration regarding a specific situation.

People trying to justify the "mild slapping" of kids, are just people who hasnt got the energi to put of with their kids behavior, taking the time to teach them right from wrong. Or people who simply lack the "brainpower" (no offence).

Edited for spelling

[edit on 7-12-2007 by Bluess]

I support corporal punishment as long as it does not injure the child for more than a very short period of time and doesn't leave scars. Also, it should be for the more serious types of misbehavior. I don't know much about what the statistics say about child punishment, though I believe in such a case as this the statistics could probably be easily twisted into what an individual wanted them to say. This much I do know for a fact-out of the male children I grew up with, those that were not punished corporally, to my knowledge, uniformly had serious behavior problems later in life.

I'm a proponent of spanking. I got plenty as a kid, and while I hated them, I look back and I appreciate the training that it instilled in me. It helps to keep children from veering too far from the course of what we deem as a society to be 'normal'. Kids need discipline, in many cases more than the rest of us because it shapes who they are for the rest of their lives.

in fact i was found stealing to. a pack of chips.
i never was beaten up for that particular "misshap". it was exactly the same thing, as with you except i went afterwards on my own to pay for my chips, and a teacher of mine fought me out of "jail sentence".

i also practiced Kyokushin on full contact. (maybe i lied about the "real fights" ) .

of course there are some times when the word has a much stronger effect. or the obligation to do something you want to escape from. and angry lack of selfcontrol is out of the question. it should be punished as is. but not to take away your children because you give them one from the right because he is just hysterical about a piece of toy in the supermarket, and wont listen (and you explain peacefully after that, and he will understand better than usual).

i am not talking about this to become a practice. but there has to be no government intervention of any kind unless it is chronic and results in much deeper wounds.

once a week is acceptable. and to be applied only about some less important things. for the more important ones like stealing and lieing the talk is the option. no room arrest no nothing, because kids understand sometimes much more than ones might think.

(i could be wrong but someone has to prove it)

I am a firm believer is spanking a child when it is needed. My parents believed in spanking, and I recieved many, many spankings as I was growing up.

The difference between my parents and myself though, is the fact that I will not spank for every infraction. I believe if you spank for every wrong, then the child will become use to it and it loses potency.

I do not slap my children in the face or anywhere on their head for that matter. Nor do I pinch them on their arms. They get a spanking on their butt and nowhere else.

I also do not spank when I am upset at whatever infraction they have committed. If one of my children is in need of a spanking, they are sent to their room to think on what they did wrong and when I am no longer ready to pull my hair out, I go in, discuss it with them and then deliver their spanking.

Because I do not spank for every single mistake they make, and because I do not react in anger, I do not have to spank my children often. It is a system that works for me and my kids.


VV

I find that a taser works quite well.
Will stop any tantrum in no time. Plus it's fun to watch a kid flop like a fish on the floor for a couple of minutes.

I kid, I kid.

OK, back on topic. I can honestly say that I've never hit my son. And he has serious, serious total meltdown tantrums sometimes. I've found that taking a prized item away from him when he does something wrong seems to work. Yelling achieves nothing, and I couldn't tell you what smacking him would do.
My Dad used to hit me only when I deserved it.

That never bothered me, then he discovered that wearing a goalie mask, and turning on a chainsaw, usually got me to stop whatever it was that was ticking him off.

Originally posted by Bluess

I practice Jiu-jitsu wich also have a philosophy about avoiding physical attacks

first, hello to a fellow grappler.

as far as spanking goes, i tihnk it should be left up to the parent on how they decide to discipline their kid.
personally, i do not believe in spanking/slapping, etc my son.
he is 11 and i have never done it....

maybe with some kids thats all that can get through to them. my son though, 99% of the time all it takes is me to change my tone and tell him whats what and the situation is cooled down like now.

i think the only time i would 'hit' my child is when he gets older, teenage and he hit his mother or my wife....i don't play that.
you don't raise your hands up against your mom....

if you're that angry, we got gloves and me and the kid can go round and round.

parents need to be able to parent though