The flick of a mental switch - realizations?

I consider myself a fairly deep thinker. When i get the chance to relax/meditate, i think about some fairly strange elements of life and related topics.

Just recently i had a moment where it was like something switched in my brain and the world seemed... i don't know, different? It was like I'd kind of stumbled upon something during my thought process that explained everything (creating more questions than answers in the process) and my brain kind of had a realization overload.

It was like the world was more beautiful than I'd ever comprehended, and yet at the same time i felt like it was all such a waste. I know I'm kind of rambling on now, but it is so hard to explain.

I really didn't take much away from the experience. For the afternoon afterwards my brain was in a bit of an excited, over-thinking state, but i slept the feeling off. I don't remember what I thought about in the first place that caused the 'switch' to flick.

Have any of you ever had an experience like this? I think the word i was looking for was a Rapture... (in saying that, i did not feel more 'religious' during the experience).

Yep. It's called "waking up". Oh man, just wait. Things could get a bit confusing. You may end up unable to rise from your bed for two weeks like me. I'm happy for you, but it took me awhile to recover.... because I first realized how BAD everything really was.....and slowly, I'm coming to terms with what has to happen, but what will hopefully eventually be a wonderful change...
still I'm wrestling with all that's wrong about this world, though. Especially since it's so big. I just think maybe we shouldn't worry about having to "do something" until the universe presents us the calling, ya know?
We're doing all we really can right now by just gathering and distributing information. The next step will come soon, and man I hope we make it through, cuz it's a doozey.

But once we do, you won't feel like it's a waste....and IF we don't.... trust me, it won't matter to you anymore. We'll move onto bigger and better lives.

I wonder if this "realization" can also be a slow process? Have tried for many years to obtain this state and have thus been unsuccessful. My IQ has gotten way higher with all the meditations and thought storms...but that's about it. No special awakening.

reply to post by fooffstarr


Oh fooffstarr!
I'm with 'indierockalien' all the way on this one. You have experienced an 'awakening', and trust me ... life will never look the same way again. Yeah, sure you'll still get s**t happen ... but life and the way you perceive it will never be the same.

I am a naturally optimistic/positive ... glass half-full kinda gal, that's what helped me survive too. too many years married to an extremely violent man (whilst truly terrified of him ... I always managed to bounce back).

Then in 1989, I gave birth to Callum ... and he was stillborn ! The hospital told me it was the equivalent of a 'cot-death' ... but in the womb, there was no medical explanation for his death.

This was the most devastating experience of my life (as you might imagine), it made everything my 'Ex'-husband had ever inflicted on me during the preceding years, pale into insignificance.

Already having had 3 perfectly healthy children before Callum and being a natural earth-mother, I just couldn't get my head around losing my son. But for the sake of my other children I cloaked myself in a mask of normality ... whilst all the time I was dying inside. This (what I can only describe as 'emptiness'), continued for almost nine months. I'd resigned myself to the idea that this is how I was going feel for the rest of my life !!!

Then on the Easter Sunday (as my name indicates I am not a christian), following Callum's birth/death, I was just gazing out of the kitchen window as I washed-up after lunch. It was a beautiful sunny day and I just sort of came out of my trance and noticed how beautiful the garden looked in the sunlight ... I mean REALLY noticed. It was as if I'd never seen daffodils before in my life.

At that moment something just 'clicked' and I KNEW, I was never going to feel the emptiness ever again ... it felt like in that split second, I'd woken-up from a lifelong coma or someone had switched the lights on in a dark room. Of course that's not to say losing Callum didn't matter anymore ... it always will ... but from that moment I began to see life through new eyes.

Just like 'indierockalien' said the only words to describe the sensation is rapture or ecstacy ... but that really doesn't do it justice.

From that day my life changed, from somewhere ... I know not where ... I gained the strength to leave my violent 'ex' with my children and start a new life.

But the changes actually began even before I left. I started getting clairvoyant messages ... and sensing spirit plus many other paranormal gifts I never knew I had before.

The thing that makes me smile though, is the fact that many people (including my 'ex'), thought that my grief had resulted in a 'bit of a breakdown'. which I'm sure is the same for many of us who experience these 'awakenings', particularly if they follow some kind of life-trauma as mine did.

I don't know if they would think that explanation still holds water today though ... because not only do I still feel the same ... but I continue to have these 'rapturous awakenings' quite regularly (gaining a sudden realization and total understanding of something) ... and Callum would have been 18yrs old now

In a nutshell what began as the most devastating experience of my life ... actually evolved into the most motivating nd exhilarating experience of my life.

Like yourself, I am not a convetionally religious person ... but I have an intense respect for whatever the 'higher force' (God/Aliens?), of creation is and the 'big picture', that we are part of and that we occasionally access fleeting glimses of.

Life is truly a magickal thing ... so hang on tight because you my friend, are about to have the ride of your life ... enjoy !