26 Questions I need answers to from ALL ATSers

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

How did a fool and his money get together?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetner?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

reply to post by Syntaxstealth


Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

What in the world is this all about?

I think this belongs in BTS mate.
That or the trashcan.

Originally posted by Syntaxstealth
Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?because I cant touch stars

How can there be self-help “groups”?the real question IS, did it help YOU?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?its your bad breath that makes him mad

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?if I have tell you that, your in bigger trouble than I thought

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? "meeee"

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?Then the gas station would be called a seven - onety one instead of a seven / eleven

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?next

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?to need help

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?42 KPH

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.umm...yeah

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?they were a disASSter

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?better than a $4 starbucks

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?yes BUTT, only on Tuesdays

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?I couldnt imagine


If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?to evolve again once we all kill ourselves

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?if they could do that the we wouldnt hit them all with our automobiles

What was the best thing before sliced bread?cheerios

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?Yes...12 holes

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?yes...down with the ship so to speak

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?two kips and a cat

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?to stop the lawsuits

How did a fool and his money get together?luck

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?neither...or both

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetner?no, but can AI have a mental breakdown?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?ith that an inthult?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? now thats just a goofy question

Dorian Soran

reply to post by hawckman


General educational questions. I just needed something to post with all the negativity on ATS, BTS and AP. Hope you enjoyed the laugh

reply to post by executioner


sense of humor???

reply to post by Dorian Soran


If thats not a abuse of the quote function I don't know what is lol

reply to post by Dorian Soran


I applaud your answers!!!

Originally posted by Canada_EH
reply to post by Dorian Soran

 

If thats not a abuse of the quote function I don't know what is lol

Since I quoted the Op and included my response within the quotes, and I have abused it...is that self abuse?

Dorian Soran

reply to post by Dorian Soran


lmao... your starting to sound like me now...

Originally posted by Syntaxstealth
reply to post by Dorian Soran

 

lmao... your starting to sound like me now...

Thanks? I think.

Dorian Soran

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

The speed of lightning will always remain a constant reguardless of how much it zig zags. it will be the speed of light.

I belive the true question would be "How much faster would the lightning reach the ground from the sky if it didnt zigzag?"

If you really want to get technical then youll have to factor in that lightning actually travels from the ground to the sky so you would need to also provide the distance between said lightning storm cloud and the ground so a calculation would be possible.

Ill get to the other questions when i have a spare moment.

How can there be self-help “groups”?
A: They get you started on the path to success when you walk in the room and somebody says, "help yourself to a seat."

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
A: When you blew in his face he was trying to lick you. When he stuck his head out the window he had just licked himself.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
A: Love is blind but a hot girl in skimpy underwear makes me speechless like a mute.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
A: Nothing, it just lets out a milk curdling scream.

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
A: Because 111 isn't pronounced eleventeen.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?
A: I doubt they need toothpicks for anything... you ever seen the weiners the men are stuck with over there?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
A: To point out where the chairs are at that self help meeting :-p

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
A: No, but I've wondered if it can reverse time should it decide to zagzig.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
A: Then you should try playing a scratched CD around a kid with lice.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
A: Each one was better than the last, but they were all still a pain in the butt.

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
A: Yes. It is for these people that paramedics arrive in a vehicle labled "ecnalubmA"

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
A: Yes, but he's also the one out of five dentists who don't recommend brushing your teeth, so he's a little bit weird.

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
A: Actually, that world might exist in the land of possibilities.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
A: Because evolution isn't run by the music industry, which means the old stuff doesn't get eliminated every time something new comes out.

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
A: The side of the sign facing the deer says, "Why did the chicken cross the road? Go over there and ask him!"

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
A: Slashed prices on chopped ham.

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
A: Let's not talk about my ex girlfriend here, okay?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
A: Only if their watches were set wrong too.

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?
A: When he had too much to put in his shack and not enough to fill his mansion.

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
A: You need some excuse to throw it out when somebody wants to make a horrible recipe with it.

How did a fool and his money get together?
A: They hooked up after a few drinks, forgot to use protection, and gave birth to their child, "Woman," who will most likely cause the fool and his money to part.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
A: Destroyed the universe by splitting it in two. Way to go, a-hole!

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetner?
A: Only if you don't pretend to brush your teeth every night.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
A: Thome Ath-hole with a thick thenth of humor.

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
A: What does it matter? They both hurt if one gets on your butt.

[edit on 15-11-2007 by mattifikation]

Originally posted by PiratedAbandonware
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

The speed of lightning will always remain a constant reguardless of how much it zig zags. it will be the speed of light.

I belive the true question would be "How much faster would the lightning reach the ground from the sky if it didnt zigzag?"

If you really want to get technical then youll have to factor in that lightning actually travels from the ground to the sky so you would need to also provide the distance between said lightning storm cloud and the ground so a calculation would be possible.

Ill get to the other questions when i have a spare moment.

I think its the same question. lol.. but you read to deep into these questions.

thanks for the post..

reply to post by mattifikation


lol thanks for the post...

Originally posted by PiratedAbandonware
I belive the true question would be "How much faster would the lightning reach the ground from the sky if it didnt zigzag?"

If you really want to get technical then youll have to factor in that lightning actually travels from the ground to the sky so you would need to also provide the distance between said lightning storm cloud and the ground so a calculation would be possible.

Actually, lightening forms from ground to cloud, cloud to ground, OR cloud to cloud. It always takes the path of least resistance, which is why it zig zags.

Peace!
KarmaGurl