Ah, to live in Canada!!!

A Canadian Journal
Date: Sun, 3 Nov
Ah,yes... O Canada, Our home and native land!

Dear Diary

Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.
Oct. 14 - Canada -- it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here!
Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. Freakin snow plough.
Dec. 22 - More of that white crap fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Jerk.
Dec. 25 - Merry Freakin Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the doofus who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill him. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the freakin ice.
Dec. 27 - More white crap last night. Been inside for three days now except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white crap and it is so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
Dec. 28 - That freakin weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the crap this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that jerk came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already
broken six shovels shoveling out all the crap he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his freakin head.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those beasts should be killed. The damn things are everywhere. Wish the hunters had
exterminated them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads.
May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!

For all of us that live here and can relate...and for those that Don't have a clue what a Canadian Winter is really like.
Sucks to be us.Florida is looking pretty nice.

I love my god forsaken Canada and it's winters from the cold depths of hell...too bad it smells like sh*t after the melt.

Oh geez I forgot about that...you are so right!

And if you survive the smell, the mosquito's will drive you insane. You're right, Florida is looking good...but I'd rather go mono-a-mono with a family of mosquito's than a hurricane, I don't have good balance, so you'd find my body somewhere in Texas.

Texas eh? Hmmm, hows about Nevada?
And I hate skitters...

If I get sucked into a hurricane and dragged through the heavens by it, I wouldn't mind making a crash landing in Nevada. I'd aim for Roswell, start a fresh conspiracy .

Headline : "UFO crashes in Roswell again, one body found of a Canadian, apparently screamin "Oh god I didn't board up the windows".

I have way to much free time at the moment, my mind is in a humourous retarded mess.

[edit on 27-10-2007 by Tomis_Nexis]

reply to post by Tomis_Nexis

Well you made me laugh out loud...my brain is in the same state...thanks to the November5 puzzle...geez...:shk:

I figured it out. I have to get my oil changed on the 5th, it says it on the little ticket they place on your windshield.
All I know of that date is:

November 5th, Guy Fawkes' legendary attempt.
November 5th, Tomis Nexis finally uses a syntheic oil.

I have to read up on this.

reply to post by Tomis_Nexis

Good god it's a conspiracy I tell you...

Hey, I love living in this freezer! Yes the winter does get annoying sometimes, but Ontario is not as bad as the north. I heard Thunder Bay was really bad as well. Just picture your joke but everyday 34 inches!:shk:

You know what else is a conspiracy? How can they send a man to space...build the ISS etc...yet they can't make my shoes smell good...what is Dr. Scholls doing? Hell I'd buy that stuff from a Mr.Scholls...doesn't take a genious to figure out a cushion is more comfortable to stand on then just the shoe.

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore haha.

reply to post by Equinox99


Thunder Bay is a 12 hour drive away from me...but easily I get snow up to my waist outside my door every year...

Last year in Toronto it wasn't as bad as past years.

reply to post by Tomis_Nexis


Wow..off topic..What are you drinking today?
I'm the one sipping a Lakeport honey..and YOU start talking about stinky feet on a snow thread...wow.

reply to post by Tomis_Nexis


I spent a winter on the streets of Toronto...coldest freakin winter ever...

Keiths. And oops, way off topic with the Scholls lol.

reply to post by AccessDenied


The city is like a wind tunnel at every corner, I've felt wind freeze on one cheek while piercing out from the other...and that's not the beer talking, that's a Canadian winter expierence.

[edit on 27-10-2007 by Tomis_Nexis]

What pisses me off about the winter is one thing...when I clean my driveway, all to watch the plow on the street send it back on to my driveway. Or slipping on ice and having someone honk there horn at you while you fall, excellent.

reply to post by Tomis_Nexis

Ah the joys of winter...Here here
Here is to long cold nights..Alberta clippers...5 layers of polar fleece...
10 inches of snow followed by 3 inches of freezing rain...and a heating bill only Donald Trump could afford...WOOHOO Bring it on!

There is one upside to winter...and a grand one...a two-four in snow takes little time to get cold...mmmm! Cheers to that Access