Global Warming threatens more UFO Sightings, less Elvis Sightings

With all of the Global Warming threat reports, such as increased volcanos & earthquakes as well as heart attacks and so on, I figured it was appropriate to see what this means for some of the more out-of-the-box members of society. It turns out to be potentially dire news for the UFOlogy community and even those who miss The King.

heart attacks
volcanos & earthquakes

Warmer temperatures year round with longer warm seasons, in addition to higher CO2 in the atmosphere, means more crops. Naturally (or in our case "unnaturally") more crops means more crop cricles.

Would this make "Global Warming" not only unnatural but even supernatural?

It also seems obvious that more warm weather means more people outside increasing the odds of more UFO sightings. I wasn't able to dig up good data on whether or not warmer weather increases the odds of more UFO activity, and the pilots of the purported UFO's were unavailable for comment. If you have any pertinent data please help out this very serious study into the effects of Global Warming on UFO's.


The latest Pro-Global Warming poster. Courtesy: "24" produced by Fox.

Global Warming might just be the best indicator for a UFO invasion event, since the news says that "Global Warming" is itself actually real. Imagine the irony of man bringing about his own destruction by increasing the temperature and inviting a UFO invasion.

In lighter news, Elvis sightings are expected to decrease with warmer temperatures since statistics from The Elvis Sighting Bulletin Board demonstrate that far more sightings occur in colder months than the warmer season. The numbers show that there have been roughly 673 sightings during cold months compared to only 279 during the warm.

Even more, is many of the Spring-time months sightings occured in Canada, showing a clear trend that The King prefers a colder climate. This seems obvious really, as The King was almost always wearing jackets and long sleeves in public.


The King wearing His typical cold weather attire.

I'm speculating that plans to actually capture The King could be drawn up in the coming years as his areas for basking in the cold dwindle further and further northwards, since Al Gore keeps parroting that we have less than 8 years until the countdown to The Day After Tomorrow. So it turns out that despite less Elvis sightings initially, he could be captured meaning he could be paraded around to international Elvis museums for public viewing. But if he isn't captured before The Day After Tomorrow, then he might not ever been seen again after The Following Day, which is the new Ice Age.


[edit on 9-10-2007 by IgnoranceIsntBlisss]