Been Cheated on?

I was cheated on, yeah. Twice by the same guy. I stayed in it because I was in love with the idea of being in love, and I didn't have the strength to cut him loose. Taught me quite a lesson that I shall not repeat.

Honesty. Trust. Respect. These are necessary for any relationship (friend or other) to work.
1) She cheated. Lack of respect for you, and for the relationship.
2) She kept it hidden. Lack of honesty on her part.
3) She waited until months after the fact to mention it -- what a #ing smack in the face.

My thoughts have already been stated on the thread -- move on. Don't let yourself be snared by thoughts of rekindling the romance -- she does not possess the moral character to maintain a healthy, loving relationship... not if she lies (not telling you about it when it happened is a lie), not if she disrespects you (she cheated, then she waited, then she 'casually' mentions it -- not a person worthy of respect in my book).

Fweshcawfee's words are also true, to a point. Be yourself no matter what -- but KNOW yourself. Know your boundaries, know your limits, know when you can or cannot push past those comfort zones. Know what principles you hold, what principles you enact. Know what you will and will not allow from people.


When you decide to walk away from hell, please don't look back. You'll want to look back more than a flower in the desert wants water... your heart will burn for it, your brain will prick and torture you to do so. Just don't do it.

I looked back and thought "maybe he's learned from his mistake, maybe he'll be a better person, maybe... maybe..." I forgave, and I got burned again and again.

Also, although no one likes being advised to do so, get yourself checked for stds. No need to unknowingly carry the past into a future relationship...

then maybe its better for you to find another womam as some sayd.
they were right,she cheated on you,she didnt EVEN respected you enough to tell you with worried tone.DAMN thats hatefull.
its not wrong to seek advice but in the end ONLY YOU know what to do man,now do the wright thing for you,and dont listen to the heart too much,it can really mess you up like me^^

Diseria,

You are obviously human like the rest of us and I can feel the pain in your memory. I certainly hope you didn't let it effect you for as long as mine affected me.

It's not so different from man to woman but I have learned one thing if nothing else. There are givers and takers in life and more often than not they get mixed up together and the giver always gets the bad deal.

Has it changed my giving attitude? Maybe modified it a little but I will always be a giver no matter what. I guess I'm just much more selective as to whom I give to on any level.

I think the OP probably needs to adjust his giving disposition as well.

Remember, takers are like sharks and can smell the giving blood in the water. They can pull off remarkable performances to get what they want. It's sad though as takers never seem to be fulfilled.

Amazingly I just happen to catch that new reality series Nashville on Fox. Talk about your takers! There we get to see what happens when everyone is a taker with the exception of one guy that I saw. The women were gorgeous but so very shallow and rotten. It's not my thing so I probably wont be keeping track but I predict they will just drag each other into the abyss.

Here's a bit of comic relief that is in no way related to the OPs topic. Just thought it was so funny and it does deal with relationships, ummm...what NOT to do in relationships, lol.

Watch the video fweshcawfee and see if this is what you consider "being yourself".

And btw just curious, are you the guy in plaid?

www.youtube.com...


STM

[edit on 9/16/2007 by seentoomuch]

Is this an ex girlfriend or ex wife?

Okay,

infidelity is a symptom of a much bigger problem with a person or a relationship.It is not just someone being a jerk, there are strong psychological factors involved such as grief, personality disorders, sex addiction, or just plain old unhappy with a relationship.

Women tend to wander when there is something wrong with the relationship, men tend to wander when their is something out of control in their life.
And you don't just get over it.

There is a wonderful supportive place you can go to that has a lot of information and articles and knowledgeable people.

www.survivinginfidelity.com

Originally posted by nixie_nox[/]

infidelity is a symptom of a much bigger problem with a person or a relationship.It is not just someone being a jerk, there are strong psychological factors involved such as grief, personality disorders, sex addiction, or just plain old unhappy with a relationship.

Although I realize that all of these factors can play a part, there are plenty of just plain shallow and selfish people out there.

And you don't just get over it.

I don't think anyone has suggested that.