Women... RAAARGH!

What the hell am I doing wrong?

I'm a young, confident, funny, sensitive, attractive man. All my female friends say I'm prime boyfriend material...

THEN WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!

No matter what happens I see all the good ladies being snatched up by guys that may as well have 'sleaze' written on their foreheads, then go crying to their friends that they were used... before doing the same darned thing again!

Ladies, give me some advice... what is it that you want from me?

Maybe tell us more about yourself. What type of woman are you looking for and where are you looking for them?
As cliche as it sounds, once you stop looking it will come to you.

Well IMHO, (and yes Iam female, with experience) us woman can be stupid sometimes, especially when we are young.We love the bad boys,perhaps in the hope that we can change them for the better.Stupid I know.Sometimes it just takes us time to realize we don't want to be with jerks anymore and start to appreciate the nice guys.
What types of girls are you trying for? Perhaps you are only eyeing up the bad ones too and not giving the nice ones a chance? Just a thought.You said you have female friends, have they offered you any suggestions?
Try looking for a girl with whom you share the same interests.
GOOD LUCK

You are being outgamed by the players!

Don't wait for the ladies to come to you, you have to put yourself out there and go get them.....

I look for funny girls. That's the most important thing I need. If someone can make me laugh they are immediately brought into my inner circle of friends despite what anyone thinks of them. Naturally, when just looking, I veer towards attractive girls, but if I start talking to them and they are just dull, or dumb, or boring I can't even be attracted to her.

Its not a problem of confidence, although I think it might have something to do with rejection. I was hurt pretty badly a few years back and since then its been downhill...

Originally posted by JackofBlades
I was hurt pretty badly a few years back and since then its been downhill...

Perhaps you have to change your attitude.
You are creating and recreating a belief system about yourself and situation. Try looking at this thread:

Empowering Questions and Affirmations




[edit on 29-7-2007 by NJE777]

What NJE said, plus if you are having difficulties with a certain girl or girls, make a point to approach a new girl, just to remind yourself that you can and that there are beautiful girls everywhere.

Thanks for the advice everyone (and I really do mean that!). I'll keep what you say in mind in the future. Any further advice is welcome, and thanks again for what you've said.

As far as rejection...it only stings a little, and quickly goes away...

Loneliness hurts way more, and lasts much longer....

You have to risk rejection to get acceptance, and love....that's simply the way it is...so don't blame the messenger.

Lots of folks(myself included) are/have been afraid of rejection. I think that's your trouble.


I got over it and I have the hands down cure for you. That's right if you do the following, you will be cured of your fear of rejection in less than a week.


How to cure yourself quickly of a fear of rejection, by Xatnys:

Go to public places, doesn't matter where, a grocery store, a mall, a bar(careful here) or whatever.

Find a girl that you consider to be "way above your league" .

Approach said girl. Better still, if you can approach here in front of her friends, you get bonus points as your rejection experience will be much larger!

Try to chat her up, be as "cool" as you think you can be.(Which probably will make you look like a dork.)

Get rejected(98% chance of rejection).


Find other "unattainable" girl.

Approach and try to chat up again.

Get rejected again.


Repeat this process for at least 15 "unattainable" girls in the span of 4 to 5 hours.


Once the above is completed, go grab yourself a drink. While sulking in the fact that you've been rejected at least 15 times in the past 4 hours an epiphany should occur: It doesn't matter how often you face rejection, as long as you're willing to go out there and try again.


You're now cured(really, you should be).



Cautionary notes:
I noted that if you should try this at a bar you should be careful. If the little princess has a boyfriend/husband, or even a "alpha male" who's interested, you run the risk of an....interesting situation. Use your head and keep your cool, make a swift exit.


Also note that I put "unattainable" in quotes. I did this because to YOU that lady is "out of your league" or "unattainable" but in reality, most women are not that hard to chat up and get digits from. I'm not saying you'll "hit a home run", but most ladies it's easy to get a date from if you're simply reasonably attractive, act semi-charming, and seem like you have a brain. If you can do that, don't fear rejection, and appear confident, you'd be amazed what that will do for you with a lot of women. In my experience, you can get further with most ladies if you act gentlemanly, seem intelligent and aren't trying to prove you're "He-Man" every 10 seconds.


Hope this helps you in some way/shape/form.

Go get'em tiger


X


*In case my wife reads this: sorry honey, just trying to help the kid out. I no longer use this. *



jk she's cool.

Your fear of rejection is probably making you self-conscious and women can detect the faintest hint, from your body language to in the slightest inflections in your voice.

reply to post by JackofBlades


As cliche as this sounds, I've been there. Although eventually someone found me who is now my everything, the exact things you're frustrated about now caused me enough disappointment and heartache through the years to fill the Atlantic ten times over. I sooooo know how you feel and what you're going through.

In my heart of hearts I honestly and truly believe with every fiber of my being that 99.999% of women couldn't recognize a genuine opportunity for love if Cupid himself ran up and absolutely smacked them across the face with it.

The first rule of searching for "the one" is don't ever ask a woman for advice on how to find Ms. Right because believe me, absolutely nothing they tell you will be of any value to you. They don't have a clue on Earth how to recognize a good catch so they sure can't tell you how to present yourself as one.

The second rule, is be patient, (yep, the last thing on Earth you want to hear). Illusions of love will come and go but the real thing, the kind that actually works and has an actual foundation, takes a LOT of patience because it's so slow in ever happening that it makes a slug look like Speedy Gonzalas.

The third and last rule, is don't settle. No matter how much mud, trash and sewage you have to wade through to get to where you want to be, just keep on truck'n till you get there.

In the end you'll be half dead inside from all the anguish you went through along the way, but you'll finally have exactly what you needed all along and slowly but surely they'll heal every bleeding wound that's in you.

Good luck and hang in there!!!

ok, even though i'm livin with another chick at the moment i do still like guys (some of you)...
I think i can throw my 2 cents in the ring..

bottom line...
women like men not wuzzy, cry to momma boys but realmen mans man, alpha male..there thats it

so quit tree huggin, grab a beer and a muscle car and go ge'em tiger!


(oh, and you can't vote democrat or be a metrosexual liberal we hate that)

and a little more firepower never hurt anyone

reply to post by darkheartrising



If thats the kinda girl you are looking for.

That has to be the worst advice ive heard lately. I dont want a girl that wants that kind of man.

Thanks for the help, although the kind of man who is just a muscle headed, gun toting caveman is (in my group of friends and the girls I go for) considered to be a man with no brains, personality, or anything substantial. Sort of like buying a bottle of uber-expensive champagne in a diamond glass that tastes like fermented horse urine.

And fweshcawfee, the last thing I want to hear isn't 'be patient', its when they all say "I love you........ like a brother."
Those words are like the twisting of a meat cleaver in my lower intestine.

reply to post by earth2


wel since i cant reply what i want since im under warning i'll just tell you to have a nice day.oh..and dont forget to vote for hilary

reply to post by earth2

srry hit the button twice...:shk:

[edit on 25-8-2007 by darkheartrising]

I heard this works, try this.

If you ask 10 girls to have sex you will get slapped 9 times.
Is 9 slaps worth a piece of...

btw, Im not alpha but I am looking. Anybody?

reply to post by JackofBlades


and yet...they get the girl....go figure...

so since its working so great for you..stick with what youre doing, don't change...
(i'm joking you know that right?)

if something isnt working....change it, or change your target female.

reply to post by earth2



hhmm..nope sorry none of my friends go for the metrosexual type..