The Changes in Priority in Marriage Poll

As I have said before, I listen to a lot of talk radio, and I real a lot of articles online. There has been a lot of down talk as to the recent poll involving the subject of relationships. The question is simple: what are the priorities that make a good marriage? Or something to that affect. The big focus is on how children used to be the highest in the early 1990’s and has fallen to number eight out of nine. Everyone I have listened to on the radio and on the TV have said that this is a very bad thing and that it shows that people have become far more
self-centered. I have to say that I completely disagree with this conclusion and think that the poll has been misinterpreted completely! You are asking how, well it is simple; children do not lead to a successful marriage or relationship in general and couples are realizing this. Remember that the question was: what are the main priorities that lead to a good marriage or relationship in general for that matter as I have added the relationship in general part. The answers were as follows in no particular order: similar beliefs, similar interests, sharing the housework, trust, dedication and loyalty, and financial security. This is what led to the big conclusion that everything has taken a turn for the worse in the subject of the American family. I think that this is the perfect answer and I will tell you why. The question was not “what makes good parents” it was a question about couples and what makes them work. People have figured out that children do not make a marriage or a good healthy relationship. If the old way is followed, as many of you who read this will testify, children are raised by two people who really don’t like each other very much and are always fighting. The truth is that the relationship comes first, before there are children. What makes a relationship work is being with someone that you feel trust, love and security with, someone you care for and like doing things with, like your best friend. If that is the basis for being together, then children will be raised by parents that love each other. If you go by the old belief, then children are raised by two people who really do not like each other at all, and they are raised in an environment of conflict. The truth is, the poll has been answered in the best way it could have been. The priorities listed are the foundation of a great relationship. Having children, if the foundation is not there, only makes for two people who feel trapped and resentful towards the other, and that is how they will raise the children. This change is positive in every way. You have to have trust, love, commitment, similar interests and beliefs and a good financial life to have a great relationship. We have all heard that the money issue is the number one reason for relationship conflict today, so how could that NOT be a high priority? The relationship came before the children and the best way to raise children in a loving and safe environment is to have parents who can show and teach by example! The way priorities were set in the past lead to the famous “do as I say, not as I do” line that any five year old child can tell you is insane! Great parents are those who have a great relationship based on all the things that came before children in the poll. You cannot take care of children, if you cannot take care of each other.