What kind of medication do I need?

I am quite sure the Gay Bomb is what your looking for....
its being made in pill size by the Skunkworks and will be made public soon

Go ask a doctor, Im sure he'll love to give you some form of medication.

In Nothing we Trust

Thanks for the chuckle. Have you read Jerome K Jerome's Three Men in a Boat?

www.forgottenfutures.com...

We may be more technologically advanced than the time at which this book was written but the message remains the same. Advertising/medical dictionaries/on-line diagnosis plays to the neurosis of the audience.

Incidently judging by your symptoms - PMT perhaps????

I could use a pill for my mother.

I'm 44 and she treats me like I'm 10! Of course if I could just stop wetting my bed...

Disclaimer: No I am not a 44 yr old nerd that lives in my parents basement. She does all of this over the phone if you can believe it.

satirical

Lovely, sometimes i don't understand how people don't see what people are up to.

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Go ask a doctor, Im sure he'll love to give you some form of medication.
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You got that right.

My last Dr. at one point, had me on 12 different pills. 3 for hypertension. 3 for cholesterol. and a half different others.

I tried to tell her that all this medicine was making me feel bad. She told me "You don't feel good because you have high blood pressure." I was like, but I felt fine before you prescribed all these damn pills.

When I tried to inquire as to what all this medicine was for, her response was "too much salt, too much salt." That's the most I got out of her.

So, I got another Dr.. First thing he asked me was "why the hell are you taking all this medicine???"

For the last two years I've been taking only one pill, for cholesterol.

Dear sir,

What you are asking for is a cure to nothing. A pill that will cure your inability to conjure up a reason to have a pill. What I would assume is that it is not even stress that is contributing to this, but rather complete boredom.

If you have the urge to take pills do yourself a big favor and smoke some marijuana instead. It will calm you down with less side effects than any pill ever prescribed. Good luck man, and never pop pills!

Originally posted by blowfishdl
Dear sir,

What you are asking for is a cure to nothing. A pill that will cure your inability to conjure up a reason to have a pill. What I would assume is that it is not even stress that is contributing to this, but rather complete boredom.

If you have the urge to take pills do yourself a big favor and smoke some marijuana instead. It will calm you down with less side effects than any pill ever prescribed. Good luck man, and never pop pills!

I dont agree smoking marijuana will have less side effects than most pills.
I know a lot of people including myself who smoked weed, within a year or so it #*d me and them up. E's have less side effects than weed. I'd rather take one of those than smoke a joint.
Your quite lucky if you have a tollerance to that stuff.
It's BAD.....

After much research I have diagnosed you with "aegretudo."

I prescribe a daily wallet biopsy until it is empty with a cash transfusion to my bankaccount of $150.00 per session. Sessions should begin immediately as it is urgent that I get some new rims for my mercedes. Treatment will continue until you collapse from poverty at which time you will be cured.

$150 please

LOL and i actually understand your point. There is no cure for anything, just treatment for the rest of your life. We all need pills for something. LOL

Here are some questions that everyone should ask of the "medical cartel" and health care situation we are faced with.

1) What was the last disease that was "cured"?

2)Why is there a treatment for all these different diseases but no cure? (diabetes, cancer, AIDS, Herpes, ED, being crazy, ect...)

3) Why is it always a life long treatment?



When you answer these simple questions, you will realize that pills=cash.
Drug companies do not make any money selling 1 pill at a time. When you take a pill and cure your disease you quit buying that pill. When you need a prescription, you have to pay a doctor to do that, so he makes money, and then you pay a pharmacy to process your order, and you pay a drug company for their pills. And this process repeats forever.

What I really get a kick out of is all these new 'diseases' that are being discovered. One example that comes to mind is what they are calling Restless Leg Syndrome. Are you kidding me? People work at desk jobs, sit on their tail end all day compressing arteries and eating foods that are better used in industrial applications (margarine for instance), well of course your legs are restless at night, you just spent all day clogging your arteries and compressing them into an office chair, a car seat, and a couch or recliner in front of the television. The cure for this hooey RLS isn't a pill, it's getting off your butt and walking a little. But it seems to me they simply invent a condition then sell you a cure lately. Sinister yes, but Pure Marketing Genius akin to the Comet Pills of the 1800's.
Another example, AD/HD... the cure for that is called a spanking, and cutting down on sugar consumption. Yeah I know that there are kids out there that can't control themselves and are indeed hyperactive, but I would be willing to put money on the fact that they have overdiagnosed this 'condition' to a point where we as consumers are willing to attribute any behavioral problems to a medical condition ass it sure couldn't be our ever declining parenting skills and the conditioning our children are soaking up from their television shows.

My doctor told me I had 3 months to live.

I couldn't pay my bill so he gave me 3 more months.

*rimshot*

shhh
tell no-one
I have been given a heads up about a new magic pill, not yet available to the public that will cure any ailment.
I can give you a number - call the guy, he works for pfizer - give him the passcode, "the sparrow won't fly with wet wings" - counter sign is "give the sparrow a towel, blowdryers damage them"
He'll fix a meet and sort you out

warning:may cause seizures, paranoia, delusions of grandeur, dizziness, penis shrinking, moral rectitude and danger of death