Mad's Dream Center..

Last night... Get this... I had a frickin' weird dream. I almost questioned my own sanity when I awoke this morning.. I hope someone can descipher this one..


For some odd reason, I had a backpack full of hand grenades.. And they were the tactical frag grenades that most S.W.A.T. teams use here in the U.S.

In my dream, I was somewhat of a vigilante, hunting down men of sin. Though, i'm not really a religious person, I felt it would be good to purify wherever I was in my dream.

Anyway, I was throwing grenades at people, and it was very realistic, graphic, and disturbing to some people. (I played rainbow six vegas the night before too, so maybe that had something to do with it?)

But I got to somebody that I didn't recognize, and my grenades suddenly didn't have an effect anymore. I was crying and throwing these grenades at this perosn, but he just wouldn't blow up. I felt I had failed my duty, and that I had no purpose. All because I couldn't blow this person up.. Everytime the grenades hit him, the shrapnel would just fall to the ground, and the flame from the grenade would just vanish.

I don't do drugs, and i'm not into alcohol, so can anyone please let me know what's going on here? I haven't been able to remember my dreams very well in the last few months, but this one comes back clearly.. :shk: Have I lost it?

A really strong dream usually means something is really on your mind. It's percolating so hard your subconscious has to send you an urgent message about it.

Most of my really strong dreams are anxiety dreams. This one, at first glance, appears to be one such.

Let's look at the individual symbols now.

Grenades can mean that your emotions are about to blow, you're holding them back. Particularly anger and violence.

A man indicates part of yourself, aggressive or assertive, rational and competitive.

This dream suggests to me that you're trying to destroy some emotions or parts of yourself, and having some success, but only on the surface. The guy that you couldn't blow up means that whatever you're struggling with is not going to go away that easy and that you need to confront whatever it is to defeat it.

So my question to you is, are you in conflict about something in your life? Or someone perhaps? Have you been at war with yourself over something and perhaps actually in denial about it?

I suggest you look at your life right now and see where you may be fighting yourself, and look beyond the surface reasons why to the deeper meaning behind it.

I can see that.. Yeah, there is a part of me that I would like to destroy, it's my past.. It haunts and taunts me, and will never go away. My past will haunt me until the day I die, and people know this as well as myself. The person I was, isn't the person that people made me to be, and the person I am now, nowhere resembles the person who I wanted to be.

Thanks the reply, it means alot. You put a few things into prespective for me..

You're right, your past will never go away. It's part of what has shaped the you-of-now. You'll have to confront and embrace the lessons of that part of your life in order to be at peace with yourself.

Having had a very checkered past myself, I can say that eventually you assimilate it all, and come to accept it. But sometimes it can turn up years later and still bite you in the behind, often used as a weapon against you by others with too much information. :shk:

I'm glad to have been some help.

The other day I had a disturbing dream.. I was a vigilante, as well as another person I know. Well, we went to bust some crack heads, and things got messy.

I'll just say people died, and it got graphic.. I won't go into any detail... I've been thinking about it alot since than.

Another volatile dream that had occured the other night.. As well as many other's, that I don't really have any recollection of.

Anyway, here it is, i'll try and use as much detail as possible.. It may sound like a movie, but it's honestly what I had dreamed. And please, don't judge my sanity through my dreams, i've been doing plenty of that, and I find myself in question. I just need someone to descipher this dream, or atleast give me some feed back. These dreams are getting more and more disturbing everytime I sleep. And when people stay the night at my place, they tend to have dreams similar to mine. My Dad also said to me,"I don't know what kind of things your letting into this house, but you've got to stop, it's bad news!"

A roaring sound flies over skies.. Fear has filled my stomach, as if I were soaring down on a roller coaster, but with no breaks. I slowly open my eyes, and realize what the roaring sound is, it's a world war 1 fighter plane. I wave my hands in front of my face just to be sure if i'm awake or not. In my dream, I thought I was awake. And for some odd reason, I had known that I was me, and that my past still existed, but I was at war. I slowly began to move my legs, they were sleeping on me, and they were filled with pain.. BANG BANG BANG! Gun shots ring out! I'm fully awake at this point, the gunshots had scared the crap out of my. I sit up and realize i'm bandaged, and have a helmet on my head. I look around in shock and realize that there are plenty of other soldiers around me, some dead, some wounded, and some dying. ONe man was screaming,"Why the f*** am I here, YOU! YOUR ALSO NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! YOU DIED! I SEEN YOU DIE, AND YOU KNOW YOU DIED! Let me see!" I didn't do anything but stare at this mangled man. He had an arm and part of his leg missing, bandaged with cloth, covered in blood and mud. I said to the man,"Hey..ughh... Sir? I'm really really fu**** scared right now, where am I, and why AM I here? I was supposed to be, be somewhere else.. atleast I think... AM I DEAD? AM I SLEEPING?" The mangled man slithered his way to the right side of his bed, vomited on the floor," You see? You see what you have done? Your stupidity has gotten us all into trouble, your the one responsible for this! YOU HAD THE WILL TO CHANGE THIS! BUT NO! YOU HAD TO OPEN YOUR EYES ONE MORNING, AND DECIDED TO THINK! THAT'S NOT WHY YOUR HERE, YOUR NOT HERE TO THINK, YOUR HERE TO LIVE! *whispering* your here to die! like the rest of us.. you bleed just like anyone else!" A light was flickering on and off in the room. Then I had realized what we were in, was infact a small bunker. I could see out side of a door way, soldiers were standing around, smoking cigarettes and cleaning their socks. There was mud everywhere, and I could smell gunpowder. It was strong, and it burned the nostrels. One man took off his helmt and started pulling, atleast from what it looked like at the distance I was at, his hair out. ANother man was playing cards and drinking water from a canteen. I looked back at the man on the bad filled with mud and blood. He was dead; gripping a pistol. I hadn't heard a gunshot remotley near my location. There was blood oozing out from his nose, and his mouth, He had shot himself.

I looked back in the door way and yelled to the man ripping out his hair,"Hey, you! STOP THAT! THIS MAN IS DEAD, HE SHOT HIMSELF, WHAT SHOULD I DO? THIS ISN'T RIGHT! WHAT THE HELL..IS GOING ON". My voice was starting to break from fear. The man puts a finger on his right nostril, and blows snot out of his left. He throws his weapon over his shoulder, and puts his helmet back on. He looks at me and smiles, " welcome to the war kid, it's fun from time to time, but it can be a full-time job. c'mon, i've got some soup warmed up by the watch tower". Suddenly, my legs seemed fine, the bandages were still in place, but there was no longer any pain. I rolled off the side of my bed, onto someone elses bed, a dead man lie there. I was frightened so bad, I threw up on his chest. I felt bad and decided to wipe it off. "That doesn't really matter kid, we burn all the stench..They did their duty, and they know what happens when they're done." For some reason I instinctivley knew where my rifle and side arm was. I paced up to the doorway, reached over for my weapon leaning next to many others, but a very freaky voice popped into my head, "You know what you did was right! Why help your allies, when you can trust the enemy?" I looked bat at the man gripping the pistol, "Fu** Off" I said, not really knowing what was going on. I grabbed my rifle, walked over to the dead man, took the pistol, and grabbed some extra ammo from the dead, put it into my side pockets, then walked out to the trench. Everything was dark red and purple outside. There were dead birds, dead horses, and dead men lying around. The hair man put a hand on my shoulder," you ready for soup? We raided the enemies dwelling last night, while you were out cold, and we found cigarettes, soup, and water. Fresh water! FRESH!" "So where am I".. "kid, where the hell have you been in the last few months? Hiding in your head? YOu think those black clothes you wore were real? You seriously think that the computer you sit at was reality? NO no no.. You've got it all twisted youngster....This is the surreal life.. this is WAR!" His voice quickly shifted from friendly to something else, demon like.."THIS IS YOU FU***** DESTINY! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU WERE ALWAYS BI***** ABOUT YOUR LIFE, AND NOW YOUR GOING TO GET A", his voice shifts once again from demon like, to calm and mellow.. " taste, of what a REAL man goes through, what a person should go through.. This my friend, is the trial of life.. And to think, you were missing out the whole time." Tears were slowly running down my face.."I know, I know man, I've always wanted it. But not like this, not in this fashion. I've lived this sh** enough in what I thought was real. So I come too and have to relive it IN ANOTHER FASHION? Why, why am I always the one put into situations like this? You don't know me, you don't know a goddamn thing about me!" The hair man looks at the ground and kicks a clump of mud," I know kid, but instead of a rich loving fantasy, your getting YOUR reality, your tasting YOUR destiny.. -Continued

Continued-
"There is a meaning to life, and it's not sitting around, drinking or getting high. It's not about being socially active as a person, it's about respect, It's about freedom..and most importantly, it's about change. You've witnessed so much in your small life, that people who live to be a hundred years of age, have not, and will not."
I was balling my eyes out at that point. I hadn't realized who the man was, until I looked up into his eyes, and got a good look at his face. It was somebody I knew well, and loved like a brother. He died a couple years ago, and he always rambled about World War 1, and World War II. So the setting in which the dream is surrounded by, seemed to fit.

I heard mortar shells hitting the ground, and realized that everyone was firing in a general direction. (Since I'm not too big in disclosing names, i'll leave this person as the hair man.)

The hair man looked at me and smirked,"I've got to go bro...I was ordered to give you this message." He handed me an envelope, with a red sticker sealing it. "Now don't you open that until the war is over, it'll lighten the mood a little." I looked down at the envlope, there was so sender, nor a single mark on it for that matter. I folded it up and put it into my inner left pocket of my uniform. The hair man drew his pistol and placed it firmly under his chin. "Why? Why do you have to leave again?" He replies with a long sigh and a smile... "Well, if you think about it, i'm not really gone.. I've been here for some time now, and now that i've given you this, I can go. You've relieved me of my position, now it's your turn for survival. Just, I don't know. DOn't die right away, and you'll be okay!" I drew my pistol too, for no reason at all. He saluted me, and I saluted back. He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. There was pain on his face, when the bullet eneterd his chin, and exited the top of his head. Blood blew into the air like a whale exhaling after being submerged for so long. The hair man fell to the ground. He twitched around for a few seconds, then just lied still like a peice of stone. "INCOMING" someone yelled loudly! A huge blast hit the ground, and the gunfire was at it's peak! Everyone was barking orders at me, to cease fire, and yet, to fire. I was confused, but I did what I thought was the most reasonable solution. I hopped onto a crate filled with helmets, raised my pistol over the top of the trench, and started shooting. I seen the enemy flanking us, but I wasn't sure what to do. I wiped the mud from my face from the mortar blast, and realized our enemy weren't people. They were demons! They had yellow eyes, with huge cheek bones. They looked like they were in a human form, but somehow I knew they weren't people. In the midst of gunbattle, the enemy were falling left and right. Weapons, mud, blood, and guts were soaring through the air. At one point I turned the pistol to my temple and thought about pulling the trigger! BUt I didn't, I was too frighteded. I slung the rifle from my back, aimed right at the enemy and squeezed a few rounds off. I hit one in the neck, blood was squirting all over. "You hit an artery, that's 50 points," someone yelled out loud. These soldiers I was around thought of this as a game. But it wasn't fun, not at all. after about 10 minutes of a huge wave of enemy forces, everyone sat back down in the trench and lit cigarettes. I was much too frightened to let my guard down. I continued looking down the sight of my gun, waiting for enemy to appear from the mist of gunpowder. For some reason, I knew not to ask what or who in the hell the enemy were. "Everybody has demons," someone says to me while holding in their smoke. "I know," I said. "But not like this." "Actually, they do. They live inside, people have the choice to go any god given direction they want in life, but they're usually supressed by what other people have told them. With religion, with television, even with books." "What do you mean", I asked. "Well," he replies. "I mean, when someone has been told that something is "wrong" in life, they tend not to choose that path, simply because it's seen as destructive, hellbound, insane, or just flat out not right! BUT! What I DO believe in, is the choice, freewill. If one chooses to become evil in they're own terms, then they are evil. They could be doing something that someone sees as right, and be evil, they can be doing wrong also, and it's good. People choose to do things, in they're own way, in they're own manner. If someone actually believes that what they are doing is right, than why shouldn't it be?" I didn't know what to say to that, I just continued to look down my barrel,"Shut up!" I said. "Fair enough, but remember, if one chooses, he can become whatever he or she wants to be. DOn't limit yourself with any possibilities kid, things are changing." In the distance gunshots ring off..."Well kid, it's time!" I look at the man with the disc shaped helmet, with a british ascent, "time for what?" All the soldiers look at me and smile. They all sit on the ground, all putting their smokes out in the mud. My eyes open and my jaw drops in aww. They all put the barrel of their rifles either against their chin, or in their mouth. "Ready, set, FIRE!".. Everyone pushes the triggers down, brains, and eyes balls fly. I'm alone. What am I going to do? Screams and shouts are heard in the distance.. "RUN! OH MY FU***** GOD RETREAT!" They have broken through the first line of defense once again. The voice fades while more shots break out. I slip on a helmet that i'm standing on to the ground. I look at all the allied soldiers lying on the ground, covered yet, in mud and blood. I'm scared... so scared.. I lean my back against the inner part of the trench and look at the hair man. I reach for my empty pistol on in the mud, grab some ammunition from my left pocket, and load one bullet into the chamber. I press the barrel of the pistol to my right temple once again. And right as i'm ready to pull the trigger, the bodies of the allied soldiers sink into the mud, to the point where they are no longer visible. I look back up to the top of the trenches, and see that i'm being watched by the opposition. Some are human, and some are the demons. I let out a sigh, and realize everything could be a dream. And I hoped that it was. I cocked the hammer on the pistol, closed my eyes

And squeezed the trigger! I hear nothing but a popping sound, and pain strikes my legs once again.. I have a splitting headache.. I open my eyes, and realize where i'm at.. I'm in the bunker again, and I hear people coughing and gunshots ringing in the back round. "Things never change, unless you take care of buisness." He hands me the pistol he had. "Try again, see what happens".. I'm wheeping and crying. So hard, I can hear myself sniffling in bed. I hear someone knocking on a door somewhere, but there's no doors in sight.. "WHAT THE FC** IS THIS SH**"...... I cock the hammer on the gun again, and put it to my chin and pull the trigger. Except this time, i'm watching myself bleed, as a different person. And the person I am now, is knocking on the lumber holding the bunker up.. "Yo...Dude.....YO!" I awake! My roomate saved me from my dream! I had never been so thankful! I hide my tears from the madness of the dream in which I just had.


I don't know what the hell the dream meant, or why I had it. But everydream has a purpose right? I don't know... I know I haven't been on in a while, but I felt like I needed to get this out. It's been bothering me.

I told you, it may have sounded like a cheesy B movie, but it was really the dream I had. And reason why I remembered it so well, was because I actually thought I was there. And it scared me.. I've had Lucid dreams before, but not like this.. Not like this one bit.

I odn't know who to talk to about this, that's why I came here, to communicate with people who won't say, "Man, you need help"

Thanks in advanced...

Wow.... I take it the dream to too complex? Whatever...

Mad that dream was bizarre! Wonder why the theme of war & suicide? Step back from the dream and focus on those key words and maybe you will come up with some answers.

My dreams are most always, short, sweet/not so sweet & to the point.

Like towards the end of May, I dreamed I was walking through Hell. The passageway myself and others were in was very narrow and very dark. People around me were screaming. What I assume were demons were materializing out of the dark and were shadows that had physical forms. They made horrid sounds and the people were hysterical. I remember looking at the demons objectively and then telling the people, "They can't hurt you. They have no power over you. Follow me, and I'll show you the way out." I started walking in the lead and woke up.

Thanks for the reply... I still think about this dream, alot. I mean, the words are pretty clear and all, but I still don't know what it means.. Or why I had it..