The Iraq War With A Lemonade Stand Theory

This is a short story that I thought would explain the mentality behind the whole Iraq War.

The Lemonade Stand : Controlling The Whole Block

Let's just say that the Iraq War is similar to a lemonade stand battle between neighborhood kids. We all know that everyone loves lemonade or iced tea when it comes to a hot Summer day, just like everyone needs oil and gasoline to run their vehicles. Now, we take the U.S. of A. and they are one block in a small town, that town being called Terra Firma, and the other block is the ones that the Iraqi brothers have under their control.

Both sides like to sell lemonade and iced tea to the consumers, or citizens of their respective blocks, but occaisionally there are people who will travel outside their own block to buy from the other blocks competition, they use SUV's, station wagons, and sports cars to drive there.

We have Little Georgie Dubya controlling the suburb of U.S. of A. of the city of Terra Firma, and there is Lil Sammiekins running the suburb of Iraqi of the city of Terra Firma under strict control. Now, their sales tactics are diverse and different and the things they tell their employees are unique to their own side of the city.

The U.S. of A., with Little Georgie Dubya is selling lemonade and iced tea which represents Freedom, Liberty, Democracy, and the oil in Texas and the Alaskan Pipeline, and Little Georgie, well he owns his lemonade stand because no one else wants to run it, and basically all the citizens who had owned it before him, well they left it up to him, because they were just too lazy to learn how to run lemonade stand. They didn't want to go to the University of Washington D.C. and learn the sale tactics or the neighborhood for that matter. Little Georgie Dubya, he learned that carrying a really big stick was a unique sales strategy, because he could shake it at you and make you see it not as a threat against you, but as anything magical he chose to, from a straw scarecrow named Terror, Communism, or Evil.

Saddmiekins, well he learned by the school of hard knocks, he didn't just sell the lemonade but he created fear among his employees, because if you kept even one nickel from a sale and didn't give it to him, well he used a huge rock, and would smash your hand, or even worse, smash your head in. He was meanie and a bully, he learned this from his Mother Russia and Daddy Peeping Tom. The family dynamic was extremely unique because he had brothers, the Iraqi Brothers, Sunni, Shiite, and Baathe. they all tattled on each other and kept Saddamiekins in power because they were afraid of him and his big rock.

Now, the Iraqi Brothers have their lemonade stand and they just don't really make much money, because it's all given to Saddamiekins. He's a meanie and a bully type person. Well, Little Georgie Dubya, he wants to own Saddamiekins lemonade stand but he just doesn't know how to make the Iraqi Brothers see his magic stick the way he wants them to. So, he begins telling the citizens he knows going to Saddamiekins lemonade stand that there's this big old bug called W.M.D. that occaisionally is in the Iraqi Brothers lemonade. Well, the citizens, they just don't like that, because they figure the way they see it, that Saddamiekins, well he's just enough of a meanie to actually put that bug, W.M.D. in his lemonade on purpose.

Little Georgie Dubya, well he waves his magic stick around screaming how much a meanie the Saddamiekins is, and how those bugs should be squashed before they're put in the lemonade, and that he can send the Hooligan Brothers over there to the Iraqi Brothers block, and he can mush them there bugs into itty bitty pieces. Well, the Hooligan Brothers, they take their soapbox racers and their skateboards over and they've got a few rocks and sticks, and a few assorted bubblegum trading cards to give to the other Iraqi Brothers, if they will help to get Saddamiekins out.

Long story short, the Hooligans, well they ended up kicking Saddamiekins butt, they beat him with sticks and rocks, and then they took his big rock, and they smashed his head in. But you know what? They never found those horrible bugs, you know, the W.M.D. ones, nasty little bugs. Oh well, Saddamiekins must have hidden them really good.

After the Hooligan Brothers beat up Saddamiekins, the Iraqi Brothers, well their grateful to the Hooligans and Little Georgie Dubya, and they all throw a party. Sunni, Shiite, and Baathe all throw rocks in the air and don't think about where they will come down, they just aren't that smart. Meanwhile, the Hooligan Brothers, they see just how not smart the Iraqi Brothers are, or at least that's their opinion of them, and the decide to sit around and protect the Iraqi Brothers from themselves, because they just like to fight amongst themselves since Saddamiekins thought for them, they don't really know how to sell lemonade or iced tea. Their Mother Russia, well she's an alcoholic who has gone and drunk all the Vodka she could to blind herself to the things her husband Peeping Tom is always doing. He's always going around and peeping in the windows of the other citizens, his neighbors.

The strife of the family dynamic of the Iraqi Brothers and their adoptive parents Mother Russia and Peeing Tom, well their just not really good parents. They just don't care enough for their kids, their selfish and constantly bickering, and it's an abusive relationship, to be kind and not label it worse for consideration of the Iraqi Brothers. Sunni, Shiite, and Baathe, well they tend to fight amongst themselves, one will pick on the other, and while he's being picked on the other will steal baseball cards, or Mother Russia will beat the tar out of all of them, just because she is a bad Mother. Remember, Daddy, Peeping Tom, is not really hanging around, he's a nosey person who is sick and twisted.

While this is all going on, Little Georgie Dubya, he has his lemonade stand raise the price a whole nickel, when he sees it's a good thing to do. But most of the citizens of the block are not paying attention because they are too busy watching the fights amongst the Iarqi Brothers and seeing the failing business that is their lemonade stand. now, essentially said, Little Georgie Dubya, he's got two lemonade stands because he got rid of the big bad meanie Saddamiekins, with his bugs, those W.M.D. ones, and the Hooligan Brothers are sticking around to keep an eye on that lemonade stand.

Oh, there goes Little Georgie Dubya raising his lemonade another nickel. Way to go Georgie, make that money, that and the money from the newspaper route, and selling those tin cans with strings attached between them, and some day you will be able to buy that shiny ne red bicycle.

Now, the Iraqi Brothers, not knowing how to sell their lemonade, because Saddamiekins was the man did all the actuall selling, or one of the neighboring boys, Pakistan, Iran, or Afghnistan would always confuse them, and they couldn't sell the lemonade or the iced tea, or even keep the supplies straight when Mother Russia had it all right inside her house, and it could easily be brought out into the front yard. Because, as we all know, when you sell lemonade and iced tea, it's location, location, location.

Look, Mother Russia has gotten drunk again and just isn't caring about the fact that Daddy Peeping Tom is all over the neighborhood. Now, he's gotten so sick, he's put cameras everywhere, and tracking devices so he knows when those people left and where they went.

Well, Little Georgie Dubya, it looks like you've cornered the lemonade and iced tea sales. I sure hope you get that little red bicycle someday soon. That lemonade and iced tea sure tastes pretty good, but I just don't think the citizens will keep buying it if you keep nickel and dimeing them like that.

[edit on 7-6-2007 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

I hate the new ATS, where you can't see if anyone has at least viewed your posts. Anyone read this short story? Anyone have any comments to it?

SpartanKingLeonidas

Well Written and a good read, I like how you have put it together!

Look forward to more from you,

This seems more like a thesis than a story...

You make some good comparisons and put it into interesting terms, but as a story, it gets old after a while. We're familiar with the events, and an in depth allegory isn't exactly necessary. Nice work on the idea, I think it just needs trimming.

There's also a typo somewhere of "peeing tom", maybe not what you were going for

I think this is a pretty accurate portrail of what could be going on, Much of this war doesnt make sense unless you chalk it up to oil.

Originally posted by Tranceopticalinclined
I think this is a pretty accurate portrail of what could be going on, Much of this war doesnt make sense unless you chalk it up to oil.

Oh no, this is just a short story, that I shared with the ATS community. Glad you liked it, and that's convincing, even though no one needs convincing.

I just noticed that someone like My typo with "peeing Tom", instead of "Peeping Tom" with a thread tag at the bottom. I'm glad someone got a chuckle out of this fictional story I decided to share with the ATS community.

I wonder if George W Bush will be put up on terror charges after his term of office is complete, or war crimes charges.

[edit on 29-6-2007 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

I'm wondering if anyone still reads old posts and threads. I like to dredge them up to see who comments on them.

Since I recently got "Scholar" status to go with "Writer" I am considering continuing this story. What do the rest of you think about that?