Time to let go?

I need an outside opinion on a little problem Im having. Im just gonna go into a few details to give understanding.

Ive been with a girl for about 6 months now, we only seen each other twice, however, due to she lives in another city than I do. We have kept an online relationship really, but I fell in love with her. I remember the times we were together, in person, she seemed swooned, very shy she couldnt even meet me alone, she had to have her friend with her she was so nervous. It was, at one point, the ideal relationship, we joked around teased each other, yet would go into deep passionate conversations and expressions of love.

Anyways, I dont mean to toot my horn here, but I could be what you call "beautiful", meaning Im a guy who has beauty like a girl, I got hair and all that and have style, so attracting girls is not hard for me. This particular girl in topic was of course swooned by me everytime we met in person. Once we met, I knew right away I wanted to be with her, for no real reason, I just felt a great connection with her. Ive dated better looking, more self secure, more talented and balanced women than her, yet for some reason I felt a love for her I didnt feel with the others. I love that was unconditional, I had no real reason to love her but I do.

Anyways, these feelings developed over time, and I was pretty open about it. I make it a point to not hide my feelings, for I feel theres no shame at all in sharing your feelings with others. Most guys are scared to show feelings, for fear of being perceived as weak, but I never had that problem. I had no problem telling her I loved her, and one time I even left her flowers on her doorstep when I wanted to surprise her but she wasnt there, so I left some flowers. I didnt do it because I was needy, but because I wanted to let her know I had been around.

Anyways, recently weve been going through a period of not talking much, were both busy with our lives, shes in school, Im working, and we talked maybe once or twice a week. During this time, she tells me that she doesnt know whether shes ready for a relationship. She tells me she isnt sure of my intentions (she thought I was using her), and she wants to be friends for now and see what happens. I agree, and I give her her space, and it goes on. We dont talk much, when we do, its pretty cheerful. Its been on like that for a month now.

Well the other day, we were talking and I asked her if she was ready for a relationship yet. And she quickly responded, no relationships now, and I asked her if shed ever be ready, she said she didnt know. She then leaves for a while, and I write her an email, where I well, poured my heart out. Then she came back on, and she read my email, and I asked her if she still loves me? She tells me "You want the truth, I loved you, but I dont love you anymore" I was like well you never loved me then, cuz it real love doesnt die, and yada yada yada I was hurt. Maybe I was a little too emotional, I even had a few tears rolling down the cheek, and I told her too.

So she leaves again, and Im just sitting and thinking. Then, almost right away, she comes back and asks me whens the next time I can go see her, I said next weekend, and she said she wanted to see me. So yea Im supposed to go see her for the 3rd time this weekend.

My question is, is it even worth it? She already told me she didnt love me anymore, aka the feeling of attraction is gone aka I was only infatuated with you. You had flavour, you lost your flavour, so Im spitting you out, like gum. I find it so ridiculous shes even making a decision like this.

Again, not tooting my horn here, but personally I think shes below my level anyways. But, still I wanted her, and still do, and she made it clear she doesnt want me to leave her life. But, is it worth it?

I really feel we can be together, I feel theres enough potential here. But, then again, were rather young, Im 18 shes 16, and I wonder is it even worth it to try? Should I even bother going to see her this weekend? She is either gonna tell me its over, or shes gonna tell me she wants to be with me. Either way, Im sick of being on this emotional rollercoaster, so Im wondering whether I should just forget about it and move on, or should try to make this work. What do you guys think?

Get over it.

Your too young.

The worlds a big place.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

Don't even think about being serious untill you've had at least one dose of the itchy scratchys because you've been a complete man whore.

Enjoy it while you can.

Go forth and multiply.

Sow your wild oats.

Am I making my position clear yet?

What ChiKey said.

You ARE too young. I remember being your age well, emotions are so strong and overwhelming, it really seems like the end of the world when you lose someone.

But as a woman who was once 16, I can tell you this: her signals are loud and clear that she really isn't interested in you. Maybe in stringing you along because you're an easy mark, or maybe not even that.

But one thing I learned in one of my support groups holds true no matter what age you are:

When someone shows you who they are believe them.

She's shown you that she really isn't interested. More interested in having someone on the end of a string "just in case" than really having a relationship with you. She even said so.

Don't waste your time. Let her go. There are plenty of other girls in the proverbial sea and you are 'way too young to commit yourself to someone who is ambivalent at best.

Well hell, she knows how you feel about her and she invited you to go spend a weekend with her - I say go make love to her! Why not, if the invitation is there?

But when you get there, you can't be shy about it and sit around and TALK about how you feel - you have to DO IT. Kiss her, you fool!

I think she's stringing you along too. My daughter does that to guys too, and she's attractive enough to get away with it. She has one guy that she loves, but he's away at college in California, and then she has what she calls her "side projects." But of all the guys, she's not tied to any of them with any relationship commitments. She's shopping around, and that's what you should be doing. You are way too young and the girl you proclaimed your love too....she's only 16...she's way to young to be having to deal with that (just my opinion)

It would serve you well to never believe you are above or better than someone in looks or class. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and true beauty comes from within a person. I've seen ugly people that were more beautiful than the beautiful, and what we deem as trailer trash people that have out classed any rich person. Just keep that in mind It could be what's turning your girl off?

Originally posted by jensouth31
I think she's stringing you along too. My daughter does that to guys too, and she's attractive enough to get away with it. She has one guy that she loves, but he's away at college in California, and then she has what she calls her "side projects." But of all the guys, she's not tied to any of them with any relationship commitments. She's shopping around, and that's what you should be doing.

Yeah, guys can play that game too! Muhahahaha.....

"Love" doesn't make you sexually exclusive with someone.... agreeing to be sexually exclusive with someone, makes you sexually exclusive....

im in the middle of youre ages, 17 and i know that there is a better relationship for you out there GO FOR ANOTHER PERSON, she might feel perfect for you now but later you will find someone else and end up leaving her anyway so its now or later, and now is better.

Lightworker- I had no idea you were so young.When you posted in one of my threads you sounded so mature.(please don't take that offensively). I thought I would let you know that my son 18 just had exactly the same thing happen with his 16 year old girlfriend. He was devastated but realized she must not be the one for him. Real love is 100% mutual.My husband and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 19, but we are a rarity.IMHO, at 16 and even 18- you both will grow and mature in the coming years into different people.It would be best to focus on you, your future and what you want in life. Then find someone who fits into that picture for you.Take it one day at a time.You can take my advice with a grain of salt if you want to but in my experience as being quite a player when I was young and having 2 teenage boys and a sixteen year old daughter, I think this girl is playing you like a fiddle.It would not be in your best interest to see her or email her,as I fear she will only hurt you more my friend and I would hate to see that happen.Take care of yourself. Regards- AccessDenied

Time can change everything. What you want at 18 isn't what you will want at 28, 38, etc. I say cool your jets. Date around. See what else is there. Don't jump into relationships quickly and maintain contact with her (tell her this too). If she's the one... really the one, her feelings aren't gone, they just went into hiding out of fear. If she's not, some other girl will swoon you, and you will finally have what your looking for.

It's common to think your inlove when your not... and it's hard to tell if that's the emotion your feeling or if it's something else. Soulsearch... that's all the advice i can give.