PT Barnum should make PC's

Okay, let's get one thing right out of the way...I'm an idiot. Every PC manufacturer and Computer salesmen in America knows it, now you do.

As I attempt to write this while dodging telephony errors and shifting the brunt of the molten emissions from my melting laptop from one knee to the other, I am reminded exactly how much I paid for the artifact on my lap to which so many extreme life savings measures I devote. How much? Too much.

Trying to think back...when WAS the last time I got a good deal on a computer? Oh that's right... NEVER.

Circa 1980: My Apple IIe - Gee, wasn't I smart. I waited until they had a sale and came down to $3,500. Keep in mind this thing had no hard drive (what's a hard drive?) and basically made my Atari look like back engineered Alien technology. If you didn't save to disk every 5 minutes, it wasn't the Fiends of Zork you had to worry about...it was the thunder storms.

Skipping ahead to 1998 (We don't discuss the Hewlett Pacard fiasco, or Mac I just had to have after college)... On to my $3,000 Gateway Destination. What a deal! A huge, honking big screen TV anchored to a 133 Mghz "race horse". Could this thing be more of a dinosaur? Well, it couldn't be any bigger, heavier, more in the way or awkward....what about slower? Nope..it's official. Worst computer deal ever, or is it? (I prefer to think of it as a $3,000 door stop).

Next: Y2K is coming! And small is in! I need a laptop or my Destination will come to life at midnight on New Years and go on a killing spree. Hmmm, (scanning Gateway website) these look okay, but I have an "in"... Let's call my "friend" at Gateway and get hooked up! The super special secret 650 mghz you say? Only 11 pounds!!! $5,000!!!! What a deal! To think that huge wide screen Gateway was $3,000...it totally makes sense a 15 inch LCD screen should be nearly twice as much. Take AMEX?

That was December 30 1999. By January 3rd it couldn't support a single CD program sold.

Last year. Screw this Internet and 800 number stuff. I want to SEE my next computer first. Enter Staples. Awesome! You've got last year's Compaq's in stock right now? $1500!!! Man, that's MUCH better than I'm used to paying!!!! I'll take it!

Get home. Cut the seal. Open the factory packaging. Turn it on. "Welcome Sean Walker" Who the hell is Sean Walker? ...and what are all these porn directories?

Call Staples...I'm sorry Sir, we just sell them. You'll have to call Compaq. Call Compaq... I'm sorry Sir...we sell NEW computers, you'll have to call Staples. Call Staples...sorry Sir, there's no Sean Walker employed here, Compaq sent us a used computer, call Compaq.

Whatever. Fine. I'm Sean Walker now. I just want a computer. Or do I? It's been 13 months now. This thing has taken more vacations than I have. Been to Dallas twice for entirely new fan and thermal systems...the third time for entirely new guts, lost the hard drive and everything.

Warranty just expired and it's melting like a Dali painting. A Dali painting that thinks my name is Sean Walker. God, I'm an idiot.

I could get you good deals on computers, that is, if you were in Canada.

But yes, if you're using your laptop right on your knees, you're an idiot.

Don't you know that some guy burned his dick badly because he did so? (yes it's that dangerous - there was an article in the news paper - and even on TV if I recall right)

Originally posted by m0rbid
I could get you good deals on computers, that is, if you were in Canada.

But yes, if you're using your laptop right on your knees, you're an idiot.

Don't you know that some guy burned his dick badly because he did so? (yes it's that dangerous - there was an article in the news paper - and even on TV if I recall right)

Actually, I've constructed a tripod supported lap desk with it's own external cooling fan. A board with metal prongs that keeps the computer about three inches in the air. The original 'kick stands' were broken off when I bough it "new".

That plus the two fans I keep on each side of me at all times when on my computer allows me approximately an hour to hour and a half sessions.

I used my Gateway notebook on my lap (as in on airplanes) for hours and NEVER had a heating problem.

This thing turns on overheated. It's crap.

[Edited on 3-1-2004 by RANT]

Way off topic, but...I just read your entire Rant in the voice of Dean Stockwell. Sometimes avatars just drive me crazy.

Back to the topic.

I hear you brother !! I've never had a single Piece of Crap that didn't have some sort of problem. New or used, they are built not to last !! It's insane. If they were like cars, the side of the road would have more cars than actually driving on the road.
My wife got tired of me homebrewing pc's a little over a year ago, so we went and bought a brand new HP Pavillion. It was cool. Worked like a freakin charm...until a week after it's year warranty expired. Exactly a week. It started locking up. Then it was locking up and restarting. Then it was not wanting to even boot back up after crashing. I did some searching ad discovered the motherboard they shipped with the damn thing didn't support the processor that shipped with it. It was heating up hotter than a crack pipe in Marion Barry's office.
I replaced the mobo and processor, and now it's working..for now. Who knows what'll happen next.

Well, seem you prepared your self well for the eventualities. BTW, I was joking when I called you an idiot. I know almost everybody who own a laptop do it anyway.

2 fans on each side of you? WTF, do you live in the middle of a desert???

There's probably not much of a risk anyway, but the article just scared the hell outta me. Like, the guy didn't felt anything, he only noticed it way after (???) and if I recall right, he got really burned, like second degree I think. (I might be wrong on that) And no he wasn't naked, he had pants too.

Laptops always had a heating problem anyway. And this will keep on growing, since all parts are always smaller and faster, so more powerfull, and it also means more heat.

Originally posted by darklanser
I did some searching ad discovered the motherboard they shipped with the damn thing didn't support the processor that shipped with it. It was heating up hotter than a crack pipe in Marion Barry's office.

I replaced the mobo and processor, and now it's working..for now. Who knows what'll happen next.

Sounds familiar. I got so sick of calling Compaq, everytime I did (which was way more than I shipped) they had a new "patch" for me to download to fix everything. Dial - up. Took forever, did nothing.

When they finally just replaced everything, I asked if that took care of the patches or if they would have to reinstall them. They said, oh no...that's YOUR JOB. What we installed is the same as when you bought it... same bugs and everything.

Our repair staff just replaces hardware you originally had, it's up to you to find the software packs to make it work and redownload all those.

That seemed just wrong.

And MOrbid, I know how that guy burned himself because I came close before I got wise. That thermal pad doesn't just burn you, it NUMBS you. I wouldn't know I had red blistery patches until I stood up...once air hits it...YEEEOOOOW! (And it's ok, I am an idiot).

After all of that, i sure hope you still dont have "sean walker" and all his sh*t on it

They proubly just reformated it with the compaq restore

the trick i learned with compacracp re# cd's is, only use the first disk, its 98se disk with compacrap drivers

then you wont have all the BS crapware they shuve in there.

Also, get adaware, make it scan every folder, clean, If you dont have a updated virus scanner get AVG 6.0
avant browser is the best for hardocore websurfing IE this website

Id theres not a fan on the harddrive i would addone, that would stop the harddrive from melting again.



Iv been from hell and back from campacrap, and learned everything my self, I just had my pc custem built (dad dint want me putting it together >

Sincere thanks for the advice. I'm going to research that.

But alas that burning smell means it's time to log off for a while... I may have some questions later.

This computer is fried.

Originally posted by darklanser
I did some searching ad discovered the motherboard they shipped with the damn thing didn't support the processor that shipped with it.

See, that's why I don't buy and WE don't sell clone. We build all our PCs our selve. Self-built PCs are the best choices, and almost everybody knows someone who can assemble PCs.

All clones, be it Compaq/HP, Dell, EMachine, Gateaway, etc.. are bull# IMO. They might work well for a while, but you pay a stupid price just because it have a brand on it, and if you have to look inside one day, either to add stuff or to change something, you'll see it's a #ign mess inside, most of the time the space is almost fully used, and there's no room for expansion, etc etc...

But I take it that's probably because always had only bad experience with the brand mentionned above.
(we don't sell clone, but we still have to debug/diagnostic them when someone bring one...)

Hehe... I bought mine last year from a shop that builds them themselves. You tell 'em what you want in there and they make it for you and it works great!

Thats why I always build my own computers. That way I get exactly what I want using the best quality parts.

[Edited on 8-2-2004 by Ocelot]

built my own and after 3 years I feel it has paid for itself. Now its starting to fall apart but I have plenty of room for expansion and repair.
But even if your computer sucks at least you can say you dont own an imac.