The Perfect Way To Be A Survivalist!!!!!

So I'm sitiin' here doin' some thinkin'............ I hear alot of people talkin' about the end of times and havin' to do survivin' stuff. So I says to myself, Self? What is the perfect way to do some survivin'?
Hmmmmm................
The perfect way to be a survivalist......... The perfect way to be a survivalist..........

C'mon brain, time to do your thing............

Hmmmmmm............

Like get a really cool tent, and set it up in the middle of a forest? And like have a bow and a bunch of really cool arrows and stuff? That way I could like shoot bears and stuff with those really cool arrows so I can make some fancy bear clothes. But if I accidently shoot a hole in my tent with one of those arrows, then the rain and stuff would come in. Nope not perfect.

Have a cabin out in the middle of nowhere? And like have lot's of guns and knives and machete's and stuff? Like that Uni Bomber guy. Don't have to worry about shootin' a hole in a log cabin! I'd use like really thick logs. But then I'd have to cut down all those trees and stuff, and I'd probably get a blister from doin' all that cuttin', and blisters hurt like real bad. Nope not perfect.

Dig a really deep hole, and make like a really cool underground fort? That way when animals would walk on your roof, you could pop up out of the ground real quick and shoot them. I bet those animals would be so surprised! And have lots of fancy candles so that there would be lot's of light. But then there would be worms and stuff on your walls, and keeping the floor clean would be like really hard and stuff. Nope, not perfect.

Hmmmmmmm................. C'mon brain, start doin' some good thinkin', or I'm gonna drink a frozen ice slushee like real quick and freeze you...........

Wait! I got it! The perfect way to be a survivalist is to have a submarine! Oh man! What good thinkin'! Yeah, like you float around in that submarine, cruisin around, peekin' out your periscope and stuff. And like when you're peekin' out your fancy periscope, and you see those survivin' outlaws on the land who think they're so cool rapin', and pilagin' and stuff you could shoot a missile at them and stuff. I bet those outlaws would be so surprised! Oh brain, I love you.
And like when you get hungry, you flip that submarine on silent mode, then cruise around and sneak up on fish and catch them and stuff.
Wait! There's more!
And like if you get sick of bein' in one place, you just cruise around in that submarine and go somewhere else. Yep, like you could be in the Arctic one day - you know surfacin' under the ice and crashin' through it, scarin' those polar bears. Polar bears think they're so cool.......
Then the next day cruise down to Jamaica. Yep, and hang out with those guys with the really cool hair and keep sayin' "No problem mon". Those guys are so thrifty! They sit around smokin' one big cigarette. And so friendly! They always share that cigarette with me. I think.......... I don't remember too well...........

Yep a submarine is the perfect way to do some survivin'...........

Brain, you never cease to amaze me!