The Perfect Prediction!!!!!!, page 1

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'..... I was readin' a book about this guy who made all these fancy predictions and stuff. He lived like a real long time ago in France, and spoke in these really cool riddles and stuff. So I says to myself, Self? What is the perfect prediction? Hmmmmm....... I like riddles. I'm gonna do some really cool predictin' and stuff!

So I pull out my fancy calendar, and my really cool calculator. Hmmmm......, OK brain, start predictin'. Hmmmmmm...... It's awful bright in here, I'm gonna go and turn out some lights. So I turn out the light, and come back to the table, when my dog Yabaastad comes runnin' over and takes my really fancy calender!

"Stop it Yabaastad! You put that down right now Yabaastad!" So he puts it down, and looks all sad and stuff. I go and grab that fancy calendar and bring it back to the table. I see that Yabaastad put a toothmark right on Saturday February 2, 2008. I can't beleive that Yabaastad put a toothmark on my really cool calendar.
You know that toothmark kind of looks like a pyramid........ It really does look like a pyramid
Hmmmmmm...... I wonder............ I bet it's an omen!
Oh brain, look at that, you're already doin' some predictin'!
Hmmmmm....... that predictin' guy was like always usin' numbers and stuff.
I heard that some Indian, I think his name was Maya or somethin' like that, was predictin' that the end of the world would be in 2012. Hmmmmmm...... Let's see....... So I pull out my really fancy calculator, and star pluggin' in some numbers.
So what happens if I take 2012, and divide it by February 2, 2008? So I put in 2012, and divide it by 2.208. And the answer is 911..... Wait!!! Do that again......Yep it's 911!!!! Oh Yabaastad, I think we're really onto something here!
Oh man somethin' big is gonna happen on 2/2/2008........

Now I gotta do some thinkin' and figure out what's gonna happen. Hmmmmm..... What's gonna happen. C'mon brain, you gotta do some really good thinkin' here.
Let's see........ the first 3 numbers are 222 - Hmmmm.... I really used to like that show Room 222.........Yep good old Mr Dixon at Walt Whitman High School..........Hmmmmm..........That High School was in LA.......
C'mon brain! Keep goin'!
Yeah it's getting clearer now. Something is going to happen in LA!
Hmmmmmm........... There's always lot's of earthquakes , and fires, and movie stars and stuff in LA........ Movie stars - hmmmmmm.....lot's of those movie stars are Scientologists........ And those scientologists all seem to be kind of crazy.........
C'mon brain, don't quit now!
Let's see Tom Cruise is one of those Scientologists. Rosie O'Donnel loves Tom Cruise.
Wait! I think I got it! There's gonna be a giant Scientologists convention on 2/2/2008. Rosie O'donnell is going to become one of those scientologists. Then she's going to say "Hey Tom Cruise, remember when you jumped up and down on the couch that time?"
Then she's going to imitate him and jump up and down.
The stress will be too much and the Saint Andreas Fault will finally break, and a big part of LA will break off into the sea, and become an Island. John Travolta will quickly claim the Island in the name of Scientology. He will name the Island Hubbard Island, and immediately put in a runway for his jet. All the scientologists will be so thrilled that they'll name Rosie O'donnell queen for her heroism.

Mark it on your calendars and stuff! You heard it here first!

Oh brain, how do you do it?