ladies answer this

why make it obvious that you'd let me hit when everytime i bring it up or try and initiate it, you just HAVE to remind me that you have a bf and reject it?

They simply like to trick guys

It's happened to me before

Perhaps you're reading more into how they're acting than is really there.

I found, in my younger years, that being nice and being myself made guys think I wanted to sleep with them. They'd make a play, and I'd be, "No, thanks." Then they'd get mad at me because they say I led them on!

NOT! Just because a girl is smiling and friendly and laughs at your jokes doesn't mean she's open to being hit on. She might just like you as a friend, strange as that might sound.

It's happened to me several times, so I think it's a combination of miscommunication and wishful thinking.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
It's happened to me several times, so I think it's a combination of miscommunication and wishful thinking.

not in my case. im dealing with a girl who's already told me that she wants to have certain relations with me all the while her man's in the picture. she loves to give me sultry stares, loves to make sure i notice her goodies, etc etc..but everytime i try and get in there she's all..um..i have a bf sweetie. i swear its so lame. she's doing NOTHING but acting like a little hoe..and eventually imma have to treat her like one.

In that case, then, it's obviously about power. She knows you won't, and it makes her feel good to have the power over you to stir you up this way.

You have two choices here that I can see:

1) Call her bluff and kiss her next time she offers. Though that could get you into trouble, and if she's a real manipulator and not just immature, she could do you some serious trouble in the legal sense. Though that's an utterly worst case scenario.

2) Quit hanging out with her completely. If she's playing you like that she is NOT your friend, she is enjoying screwing with your head, and a person like that is not worthy of your friendship.

It's up to you. I believe the moral high ground is represented by choice #2.

Originally posted by LordInfamous

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
It's happened to me several times, so I think it's a combination of miscommunication and wishful thinking.

not in my case. im dealing with a girl who's already told me that she wants to have certain relations with me all the while her man's in the picture. she loves to give me sultry stares, loves to make sure i notice her goodies, etc etc..but everytime i try and get in there she's all..um..i have a bf sweetie. i swear its so lame.

Do NOT let her get away with that. Be like "I don't care" and keep mackin on her anyway!

Unless this is happening at work or something like that, where you have to be a little more cautious.....

Oh... I do that a lot. Gosh, I feel bad now 'cause guys are actually bothered by this.

I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down. I guess it gives me a false feeling that I am desired and that I'm too good for someone. I have self-esteem problems. It's one of my past-times. I think I should probably stop now.

Good on you for admitting it firstly, and for thinking about changing it secondly.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down. I guess it gives me a false feeling that I am desired.

I guess this is a joke. Otherwise, what the hell???

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Oh... I do that a lot. Gosh, I feel bad now 'cause guys are actually bothered by this.

I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down. I guess it gives me a false feeling that I am desired and that I'm too good for someone. I have self-esteem problems. It's one of my past-times. I think I should probably stop now.

You'll grow out if this. Once you hear what people really think of your behavior, you'll feel really stupid and needy. Don't feel bad, though. It happens.

Originally posted by SteveR

Originally posted by Paresthesia
I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down. I guess it gives me a false feeling that I am desired.

I guess this is a joke. Otherwise, what the hell???

i was thinking the same thing man.

I'm with MajorMalfunction... Just cause I'm being nice and friendly, doesn't mean i want to be hit on. I'm always out to make new friends, and guys always seem to find that as a green light to hit on me. What I don't get is I'm no raging beauty... in fact I'm far from it.

I've been accused of being that type of girl... which really sucks, cause I'm not some sultry temptation to lure men into their own demise. If i actually have feelings, they are deep and forever. If I say that I love you... you better realize it's not a passing fad but an actual strong feeling for you, and appreciate that... darn it!!! lol.

I won't lie to you, LordInfamous... some women like Paresthesia get off on having men attracted to them just so they have the ability to say no. I'm sorry you have found one, and only have this advice to give you.

Just ignore her advances... pretend they don't matter and you aren't interested. She will stop, and find someone else to play with.

You have to understand that women need attention, as admitted above, and specially attention from other men. Women who develop some of these self-esteem problems, are women who did not have a dominant male figure as they were growing up. That is why you get women who are called, "hoes". They are just starved, subconsciously, for a dominant male figure. As for your case, you have deffinitely got to be a dirt bag. Women are attracted to dirt bags, even though some will not admit it. She is just keeping you in the picture because women are always looking for something better, and they always keep their options open. You are just one of her options, keep you there, give you something here and there, but stop you on your tracks if you ask for it. Like I said be a dirt bag and just take it, if it is a no go, screw it, there is atleast 3 billion other women out there.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down.

You see, stuff like that is what causes some guys to be insecure and never approach a female. It's not nice and it certainly isn't funny.

Originally posted by LordInfamous
why make it obvious that you'd let me hit when everytime i bring it up or try and initiate it, you just HAVE to remind me that you have a bf and reject it?

OOohhh! I hate it when that happens.

I would say part ways with her, and never look back. Otherwise you are just torturing yourself.

As mentioned there are billions of other women out there.

2 cents

she just wants attention and is trying to make sure she is still "hot" . personally i don't understand why my fellow females do this stuff it's not fair to the boyfriend but then again maybe something is going on in the relationship itself in which she feels this need to be eyed/wanted. either way she sounds like a damn tease. you should be a jerk about it. i would.

Women are attracted to dirt bags, even though some will not admit it.

man i dont get that either! i am NOT into jerks. I usually find out they are dirtbags later on..they have this act at first as a nice guy or something i dontknow just past experiences it blows because it makes me make judgement on all guys. but i am learning not all are like the previous. by being like that u let the good ones get away..
anyway like i said whats the deal with some girls liking jerks?? why would u want someone who is constantly bombarding you and everyone else with negative comments/energy. lame

I guess I'm a little cruel. Yes, I do intentionally lead stupid guys on, and then they'll think that I really like them, ask me out and then I'll turn them down. I guess it gives me a false feeling that I am desired and that I'm too good for someone. I have self-esteem problems. It's one of my past-times. I think I should probably stop now.

all i gotta say is karmas a b1tch!

why make it obvious that you'd let me hit when everytime i bring it up or try and initiate it, you just HAVE to remind me that you have a bf and reject it?

its the nature of the beast, I believe it is natural to be attracted to someone other then our spouse, a little teasing, a little tempting, all the nature of the game

also she seems to need to know you find her desirable, it is apparent something is lacking in her relationship, I would think low self esteem

there are so many layers to this

I try to always be upfront with the guy. Letting him know first hand what's up. i've seen the pain of many of my male friends being hurt by women who play them along. Makes the guys just want to give up, as they don't feel good enough and then often settle for a hurtful woman. I think many women treat men that way to make themself feel, pretty, wanted, etc. In the end, it helps no one!

reply to post by Paresthesia


Guys have feelings too!! Girls are just so good at giving mixed messages.

I guess thats what makes them so interesting eh?!