Hardest day of my life.

Omg!! That's absolutely horrible. At first, I actually wouldn't mind being on my own 'cause that's normally what I want anyway, but after a while, it gets tough, doesn't it??

Gosh! I think you ought to just walk home and apologize and beg your parents for forgiveness. That's what I would do. I guess I'm just pathetic like that.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Omg!! That's absolutely horrible. At first, I actually wouldn't mind being on my own 'cause that's normally what I want anyway, but after a while, it gets tough, doesn't it??

Gosh! I think you ought to just walk home and apologize and beg your parents for forgiveness. That's what I would do. I guess I'm just pathetic like that.

Well for the most part I would be fine with it, its just that I wasnt exactly ready yet, and trust me, the thought has crossed me mind to beg for forgiveness, but its really just got to a point where thats pointless and means nothing, I want to go back, but at the same time I never want to see them again, truly the only thing bothering me right now is I want my dog, and if I can move in with my friends when I get a job I am taking him.

I wasnt being abused physcaly. I was kicked out for behavioral issues.

Hey, now I know I don't know your situation. However, leaving home from not being abused but, because of behavioral issues. Not exactly a good reason.

Everyone has a boss over them. You will always have to obey and follow rules. You can't run away from that.

You won't be able to hold a job even if you don't follow the rules. Why don't you grow up a little say your sorry. Start following the rules of the household and see how far you get. Don't be so eager to get out in this world before your time. There's nothing out here for people who don't go by the rules, except prison.

[edit on 11-4-2007 by Shar]

Originally posted by Shar
Everyone has a boss over them. You will always have to obey and follow rules. You can't run away from that.

You won't be able to hold a job even if you don't follow the rules. Why don't you grow up a little say your sorry. Start following the rules of the household and see how far you get. Don't be so eager to get out in this world before your time. There's nothing out here for people who don't go by the rules, except prison.

I am fine with obeying rules, I am fine with people being a boss over me, I have accepted that, and when I say I was kicked out for misbehaving, I mean in some pretty light ways, I dont exactly want to get into everything that has happened over the last year, but I assure you, I am pretty good at behaving, but the kind of fight I would have in my household would be something like my mom complaining that I didnt say hello in a good enough tone, or I got up to get a drink of water after my bed time and my mom thought that I was going on the computer or something, I am not a bad or misbehaving person, I just cant have a normal life with my family, everyone else is fine, just not my family, and basicaly only my parents, my brother and sisters I am fine with.

Well I am really sorry to hear that. I do hope you find peace in your life. I hope someone can help you out long term. Everyone needs a good start in life. I know from experience some parents should never be parents.

Originally posted by pshkwamy
I am pretty good at behaving, but the kind of fight I would have in my household would be something like my mom complaining that I didnt say hello in a good enough tone, or I got up to get a drink of water after my bed time and my mom thought that I was going on the computer or something, I am not a bad or misbehaving person,

Your right pshkwamy, there's no such thing as a bad kid, you sound like a very intelligent and articulate person with alot of perceptive insight, I suspect you have a very high emotional IQ as well.

Sure, there are kids who are probably predisposed to psychopathy or pathological lying, they can usually get away with bad stuff until they're president, or supreme leader....

But when a kid's singled out in a family, it's usually an underlying pattern that has absolutely nothing to do with the kid, but has more to do with their parents emotional history.

You owe it to yourself to try not to take your parents compulsive concern over your tone of voice or computer usage as too personal. And you owe it to your parents to forgive them for being human.

Maybe not now, when anger might be permitting some badly needed emotional autonomy from the wounding of whatever conflict arose. But keep it in mind for the future, so they can't push your buttons so easily.

That's not to be arrogant when they're trying to coax you into a well mannered or well organized pattern, but to be flexible with their fallibility and remember they have issues too.

I've seen some really horrible parents and tragic cases. The kids were saints for putting up with it. One of the saddest stories is a young man who lost his mother at 9. She was diagnosed with cancer and dead in 9 months. He got bounced to his drug addicted dads house, (they had been divorced) but the poor man could not overcome his addiction. Then he was sent to a really neurotic aunts, who presupposed all kinds of bad behavior that never happened. Finally he came back to the city and was placed in a foster home. A couple of years went by and he bought a bong at 15 because he thought it was cool. Never even used the darn thing. The officials found it in his room sans resin and bounced him into a group home.
Now he's been labeled a criminal and a drug addict because there's noone around with the legal right to advocate for him. He's only 15. He ran away from the group home recently and turned up here. I kept him long enough to convince him to return until he's of legal age to leave. Then the door is open.

You could be worse off, try to be grateful for the troubles, the alternative is no one at all cares.

Blow off some steam and let your parents calm down. Maybe if you find a trusted intermediary or counselor that you could all sit down and arrive at a compromise with, it will help.

Are your parents completely adverse to your side of the story?

Originally posted by clearwater
You could be worse off, try to be grateful for the troubles, the alternative is no one at all cares.

Blow off some steam and let your parents calm down. Maybe if you find a trusted intermediary or counselor that you could all sit down and arrive at a compromise with, it will help.

Are your parents completely adverse to your side of the story?

Its true, I could be seriously worse off, there are some other problems I am worried about concerning my sister, she is much worse off if they decide to kick her out as well, I do have it better off, hopefully they dont but they might.

Tommarow I plan to talk to a counselor and figure some things out.

My mother basicaly believes she has all the answers to everything and that what she says should be taken as truth and no questions asked, so basicaly even though I have an incredible memory and can almost quote someone without error months after they say something, she will just say I said something when I didnt, and say that everthings always my fault, so shes pretty adverse to my side, my father on the other hand, well it doesnt much matter what he thinks because he lives in Egypt half the year, so even if he wanted me to stay, theres nothing he can do because I would be kicked out the second he left anyway, so even though I know hes pretty much usualy on my side, he will always side with her in an argument or something like this no matter how ridiculis it is.

Originally posted by Paresthesia
Omg!! That's absolutely horrible. At first, I actually wouldn't mind being on my own 'cause that's normally what I want anyway, but after a while, it gets tough, doesn't it??

Being on your own is very tough. Everyone always say when they live with their parents, "God, I can't wait to be on my own and out from under my parents thumb." Really? Well, when one sits down and figures up the cost of living, it's not a pretty picture. Even if someone is making say 2-3 thousand dollars a month, you struggle to make ends meet.

Here is a version of what I am talking about

Say you make 2500 dollars a month. Okay

Utilities are going to cost anywhere from 300-500 dollars

Car payment, you might as well count on it costing you about 400 dollars a month

That's 700-900 dollars right there.

Then you either have rent or mortgage on a home. That usually ranges between 400-600 dollars, depending on where you are at. So you figure, that totals out to about 1500 dollars.

Then you have to look at fuel costs... Most people are out anywhere from 50-100 dollars a week in fuel cost. Thats another 200-400 dollars a month...

Then, there is the all important food cost. For me, it costs anywhere from 200-300 dollars a month to feed me.

So, a person is looking at anywhere from 2000-2200 a month just to exist. If your making 2500 dollars a month, that leaves you 300-500 dollars to "play" on. That's not much... Yes, it is indeed hard to "make it on your own." Enjoy your parents while you have them.

I am well and truly distraught and annoyed at all the men who father children and then abandon them with less regret than they do a dog. I'm not saying this is true of your father, but call him and demand he father you - immediately. Maybe you can got to Egypt with him. Travel is the best education.

Honestly it will be a terrible mark on them, to slander and denigrate the mother's of their children as a way of justifying their own cowardice and lack of discipline. Not that, that's what your's does, but with divorce rates at nearly 50% and marriage not even considered in many cases - did you know that 95% of men never miss a car payment, but only 25% pay their child support.

Really a pet peeve.

I'm glad you're going to talk to a counselor. Why not have the counselor call your mother and arrange a group interview? It sounds like there's no lack of love, just a lot of conflict in the way.

Originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
Then you either have rent or mortgage on a home. That usually ranges between 400-600 dollars, depending on where you are at.

!!!! 600 a month!!!!?!?! I want to live there!!!

I pay $1,200 a month to rent a one bedroom apartment, utilities not included.


I was in your same exact situation. I was kicked out at 17 (for getting a tattoo...among millions of other things) with no place to go, no car, and no friends to live with. The advice I can give you is this...Always keep your head up. I know it sounds silly....but sometimes you will feel like less of a person for being in the situation you are in. (You might feel like that won't happen...but trust me, it will.) Don't start feeling sorry for yourself, don't hate your mom and hold resentment for what happened. In the end, this really does make you a better person. Remember what they say...What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.

My Suggestions:

-Get a pay by the minute, no contract cell phone. Only use it when you NEED to. (Need doesn't include text messages to cute girls....trust me, i learned this the hard way)

-Talk to your mother. You don't need to apologize, and you don't need to ask to come home. Tell her you love her, and say that while you are not asking to go back, you are asking that you be able to use the home address and phone number until you can get on your feet. If she says no...fine. Ask a friend.

-Shower regularly. It sounds silly, but being dirty is the worst morale killer ever.

-Dollar menu!!! This might not be so appetizing...but check out the fast food dollar menu. You can get a full meal of chili, a burger, and fries for 3 bucks. Not too shabby.

-Cruise the couches. Stay with friends you have...don't overstay your welcome, but if what you said about moving in with some friends in a month....well there ya go. A month goes by pretty quickly.

-Don't let your employer know what's going on! Walk into that job and act like you are just a regular ol' kid living with his 'rents. Use your home address and number, and if your mom says you cant use the number....give the cell number! How the heck is he gonna know its not your home number?

-Get direct deposit. This might sound weird....but trust me. It really helps.

-Trader Joe's/Whole foods/pizza places/donut shoppes...This may not sound too appealing, but it worked when I had to do it. I know for a fact that daily, Trader Joe's throws out that days sandwiches and other stuff. they aren't bad, but they just can't sell them. Take advantage of this and dumpster dive! Make nice with the people at the pizza places and donut shoppes. During the later hours and during closing, they often give away most of their stuff to make room for the freshly made product.

This is most likely temporary. The best advice I can give you is just stick it out. Go back to your mother and be respectful. See if you can go home. Even if she is a crazy looney toon bent on world domination! Stick it out for a month or two. It might suck...but trust me, being on the streets sucks a whole lot more.

Feel free to u2u me. I have plenty of fun tricks that I learned when I was in that situation...and trust me. It gets better.

It sounds like everyone has given you some great ideas and I just wanted to throw my hat into the ring.When I was 14 I spent only 3 weeks on the streets of Toronto and that was enough to make me go crawling back to mom.I straightened up my act pretty fast.You I hear do not have that option I hope you have some good friends that can help you.As a fellow Canadian good luck to you now and keep a positive attitude.

Just thought I would give a bit of an update. So far everything has been pretty alright, my sister gave me some money, weant to school, weant to my bass lesson (and I was surprised my mom didnt cancel that) I talked to a councler at school, but they really were just making sure I had a plaxe to stay and had food, my school is a bit busy due to the library burning down, so they dont exactly have a lot of time to talk because of how crazy everything is. I talked to my brother about getting a place, but he pretty opposed to what is going on and refuses to help me or talk to my mom, but I am going to talk to someone else that is 18 and is wanting to find a place.

And thank you everyone for everything, it really does help, I was kind of expecting no one to say much, so this is very apprecieted, I was pretty scared (well who wouldnt be) but now things seem a bit better.

Oh, also today, there was some very sneaky ninja skills when my dad came to pick up my sister and he didnt know she was with me at the time, it was exciting.

So if anything new or drastic changes I will keep you posted.

Sending prayers that everything works out for you pshkwamy.

Glad to hear you are OK for now and definitely keep us posted. Even if you are feeling lonely where you are you have friends here.

Originally posted by YoBrandonRaps

!!!! 600 a month!!!!?!?! I want to live there!!!

I pay $1,200 a month to rent a one bedroom apartment, utilities not included.


I

Well, the cost of living in Texas is not as high as it is in other places I have been. Even in metropolitan areas like Houston and Dallas, you can get a place for 600-900 dollars a month. It may not be the best place in the world, but it's a place to lay your head. Of course, if you want to go upscale, you are going to pay 1200 dollars or better. In the smaller areas, yeah, rent ranges anywhere from 400-600 dollars a month.



[edit on 13-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Good luck man, I hope everything works out for you, I've seen this sad reality of life, and it isn't pretty, and yeah, it isn't easy to take care of yourself, wish you luck once again and take care

Originally posted by pshkwamy
Maybe no one cares, but it doesnt really matter now does it, I just want to talk about today, and the problems I am facing. Today, I was kicked out of my house, I dont know for how long, and I dont know if I can ever go back, a few days ago my school had a huge fire so I cant go there because theres no class, so I have no where to go, I cant get ahold of any of my friends, and anywhere I go I cant stay. Hopefully school will be open again tommarow, at least its a place to be, but right now I cant go anywhere. What I have is my clothes, my labtop, a bottle of water and a copy of V for Vendetta, maybe it doesnt sound like I have much of a problem, other then the whole I dont have a home, I dont have a job, I dont have any family and I dont have any friends to go to, I am just sitting in a mall stealing internet. Maybe things will take a turn for the better, or they could get worse, but for the time being, things dont look to bright. ATS/BTS has gotten me through some hard times before, maybe this time aswell, theres more stuff, but I think I have said enough.


...how many homeless posters on BTS?

That's pretty friggin bad hon! Holy Moly!

If you were in my city, I'd ask you to come and stay/live. (Frig sakes come here!)

Does it take a post like this to 'excite' the humanitarian of ourselves to extend a life-line?