Secret Affairs With Your Customers

You ever had a secret crush on one of your customers, but your company policy said "no dating clients." ?

What do you do? Quit? Or go have a secret affair until you can find another job?

Lol, well crap, I'm happy with the job, and I don't want to leave. And she's happy where she works, too... So now what? This sucks.

Ok, so maybe the OP was a little ambiguous, and I realize it may not be the greatest topic for those of you that are happily married. The obvious answer to the OP is just simply to find someone else, or quit my job, right?

But still, it's hard enough to find someone as it is, especially in later years of life. Therefore to me, why should I let a job get in the way of a love affair with a customer? Should I just pursue a secret affair with this person, and keep my job? Or should I just forget her and move on? I am hoping for some unique angle from someone here that may aid in my decision.

I'm not sure what state your in, but you may want to check the legal statutes......

What you do in your off time is your business...

Just my opinion of course... As you can imagine I am much more up to date on the criminal statutes, not so much the civil ones...

And good luck...

Semper

How can they prove that you are dating?

The reason why they give this policy is because they don't want it to affect the business. If things go wrong with you and your client they don't want your client to cut ties with the business because of it.

Did you agree to this policy in a contract?

I think this issue was just on judge show on television, however, I forget the outcome of it.

-ONIAG

Semp, I agree, that's probably a good thing to do, although I wonder if it really has any bearing when a company's policy is no client dating.

Originally posted by Oh NO ITs AL GORE
Did you agree to this policy in a contract?

Actually, not specifically, although I did agree to abide by company policy. According to the last statistics I heard, most couples meet at, or through the work they do. That makes the situation a bit ironic.

I did some reading and it apparently has some to do with whether or not you live and work in an "At Will State."

South Carolina is just such a state so I will use her as an example...

In an "At Will State", one may be dismissed for NO reason...

They are not required to give you a reason, such as would be necessary in Delaware where there is Arbitration...

Now, with that said, they can not dismiss you for "reasons" that fall outside of the FLSA.. (Fair Labor Standards Act)

Such as race, creed, color, religion etc.....

If you want to tell me your state, I would be glad to research it and tell you what I know of where your "footing" is on this....

Semper

ps....

Remember, the company policy can NOT override the FLSA.. Not legally at least..

S

[edit on 3/18/2007 by semperfortis]

I have dated people I work with (met my husband that way) and I dated a teacher once (which was definitely taboo!) but never a customer...

What's the worst that could happen? You could lose your job? Is she worth that?

If my company policy was "No client dating" and I agreed to follow company policy, I probably wouldn't date her. I'd ask her to take her business elsewhere!

Edit to Add:

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
What's the worst that could happen? You could lose your job? Is she worth that?

Actually if I lost my job at this early stage of the relationship, she'd probably dump me. You know- this is the time when gift purchases are at an all time high, meals tend to be on the more expensive side, and good economic sense seems to go straight out the window in favor of spontaneous overindulgence. Remember them days, oh married ones?

If my company policy was "No client dating" and I agreed to follow company policy, I probably wouldn't date her.

But she's so damn nice, sweet, innocent and georgeous! Arggggggggggg.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
I'd ask her to take her business elsewhere!

Hmm, that's definately a thought. Exactly the kind of input I am looking for. Creative solutions. It's a simple problem really with difficult answers.

But now for the tougher part. Her company is one of our biggest customers, and my pay is directly tied to the bottom line...

[edit on 18-3-2007 by TrueAmerican]

If she's the one, and she feels the same about you, you'll stay with her and find a way.

I think I'd probably be REALLY careful and date her. Have a really in-depth talk beforehand and focus on how things are going to be if it doesn't work out. Will she expose you to get revenge? Because as long as things go well, there's no problem. But if you guys have a nasty break-up down the line, the situation could get ugly.

Good luck! You deserve a really cool girl! And keep us updated with all the dirt!

Originally posted by jsobecky
If she's the one, and she feels the same about you, you'll stay with her and find a way.

That's kinda what I'm thinkin jso, but is it worth the risk. I thought it was!But now BH has got me all worried, lol:

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
I think I'd probably be REALLY careful and date her. Have a really in-depth talk beforehand and focus on how things are going to be if it doesn't work out. Will she expose you to get revenge? Because as long as things go well, there's no problem. But if you guys have a nasty break-up down the line, the situation could get ugly.

So true. But hey, even so BH, some things are worth it no matter what! I am still trying to decide whether to go there at all though, and your points just reinforce the concern.

Good luck! You deserve a really cool girl! And keep us updated with all the dirt!

lol @ dirt. Yeah, we should probably discuss this in a way that doesn't involve my personal relationships, but Grady asked for personal experiences that uncover social issues, or something like that...

I don't mean for you to be overly concerned or scared. It's just that I've learned that it's best to go into these things eyes wide open and expectations known.

On my first date with my husband of 15 years, I told him that there were 3 issues I wanted to get out in the open before we even went any further. (poor guy).
-I smoked and I didn't want him trying to convince me to quit. I'd quit when I quit. (and I did)
-Secondly, I had cats. I'm an animal lover and I would always have animals. (we now have 2 cats and 3 dogs)
-Thirdly, If he was racist in any way, I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship any further.

We cleared the air and kept it clear from then on.

Oh, and... true love is ALWAYS worth the risk!

[edit on 18-3-2007 by Benevolent Heretic]

Actually if I lost my job at this early stage of the relationship, she'd probably dump me. You know- this is the time when gift purchases are at an all time high, meals tend to be on the more expensive side, and good economic sense seems to go straight out the window in favor of spontaneous overindulgence. Remember them days, oh married ones?

At this stage of the relationhip, you might be able to write off the dinners as a business expense.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
I don't mean for you to be overly concerned or scared. It's just that I've learned that it's best to go into these things eyes wide open and expectations known.

I sooo hear ya on that, BH. But I have a feeling we're both a little rusty at the dating game. And that's NOT to in any way belittle what you said, because it's great! It's just that having been removed from it for a while, I don't even know what to expect these days.

...Oh, and... true love is ALWAYS worth the risk!

I'd like to think so, but the question at this point is kinda like is it true love or true lust! Not that true lust is necessarily bad at first! I figure as long as you open the flood gates a little at a time, you help minimize the risks.

Originally posted by jsobecky
At this stage of the relationhip, you might be able to write off the dinners as a business expense.

Ee gads, yup jso, one way or another life circumstance would have this come down to economics. lol, hey, it's company business, right?