Just SCIFfy

Intended to be a place for thoughts and humor, from the other side of the solid core door, welded hinges, and Kaba Mas X-07 or, for the old guys, the S&G 8400 series w/ butterfly knob.


And Remember:

Use of this AIS implies consent to monitoring without further notice.


guyoverthere a/k/a theguyoverthere

If you are in a screen room make sure that the OPEN sign is in a place that is EASY for the Guard to find if you are going to be working late.

Tin Can is OK, but it is not a sardine can until the cubes are >20 ft^2.

The only safe place to keep the combination to a GSA Container is, in a GSA Container.

You do NOT need to yell 'BLACK PHONE' when you are answering a call at your house.

guyoverthere

Driving to work: Did I leave the coffee pot on ?
Driving home : Did I flip the, suite door/safe sign, to closed ?

Second-least favorite conversation:

Me (to SP): This is Mr. So-and-so, GG-14, badge number xxxx, accessing vault 2b.

SP: Mr. So-and-so, I have you on the access control list. I pass you "7"

Me: (tries to remember whether I add, subtract, multiply or divide using control number) Uhhhhh.....I give 22?

SP: (red lights flashing, alarms sounding) Sir, stay where you are. Do Not Move.


Least favorite conversation:

Me: Uhhhh, no sir, I can't tell you why I don't have a cover sheet on this. I forgot????

Oh, least favorite AIS sticker: Change configuration, lose accredidation....

Or even in the "less secure" areas...

"Did I put the hard drive in the safe before I left?"

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"This is where Daddy works sometimes"

"It looks like the door at the bank. Is there money in there?"

"No, honey, it's where Santa hides all the switches and coal lumps for the bad guys"

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"Daddy, what does this plaque mean on the door...withstands 10 man minutes against forced entry?"

"It means if the IRS is after you, it will take them at least 10 minutes to get in after you tell them to go away"

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SO: Tom, there's a TS cover on your desk you left out.

me: Is it pretty thick?

SO: Yes. This is not a good thing.

me: Open it

SO: I can't do that

me: No, seriously

SO: You put a copy of Hustler in a f....g orange cover? You f....g moron..

me: Hiding it from the boss. Toss it under my desk. No one will look in one just being nosy. Seemed like a good idea to me.

SO: Are all of you SOB's doing this?

me: No, I think Ray likes "nuts and volts" but it's a matter of taste I guess.

Hey, we need a color code for Stuff, Special Stuff, and Really Special Stuff.

Green - Stuff
---OK

Red - Special Stuff
---OK

Orange
------???



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Note at bottom of an announcement for Christmas Party:

“NO – You will NOT be able to show your family, your desk in the SCIF”


************************************

I worked in a space that had been 'convereted' into a lab space, among other changes a raised floor was installed.

All of the light switches were about 2.5 feet off of the new floor.

They did at least move the door knobs.

In the brave new cover color code system, green=don't leave it laying around but we don't care all that much, blue = confidential, red= Secret, orange = TS, yellow = SCI.

We found these and sometimes use them for fun. Well, at least we like them.

www.fas.org...

Who would do something like this:

One current contractor goes so far as to describe the deliberate distinctions between full timers and contractors as a sort of "caste system". Contractors must wear orange name badges to contrast with the blue of full-time employees.

You got it, the evil group behind any number of conspiracy theories.

There are thousands of other orange-badge Microsoft temps that face this situation.

Who else could possibly sink so low?

ROTFLMAF - I had never seen those cover sheets before.

We've gone to plaid !!



From time to time you run across some program that demands a password for no good reason. In times like this all of us use:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Oddly enough this is the same as my luggage. I need to change that.

Col 'Tampa': We need you to do (x) real fast with the firmware in (system), it's a field emergency

me: We surrendered all those docs and development files to you. It was TS. We don't have any. Not ours. I can charter a plane and come there in about 4 hours...

Col: You're engineers

me: yes, and?

Col: You've still got copies of the technical stuff. You're all pack rats. I'm sure you encrypted them and put them on the music server under "Yanni" or "Streisand" with a .MP3 suffix or something devious that the SO didn't think of.

me: uh

Col: I know you all too well. Don't bulls-t me.

me: Mois? I would be in real trouble if I had done that.

Col: Someone's going to be in real trouble if you didn't

me: Theoretically, I'd need you to establish a believable pretense to cover my amazing recovery of the files.

Col: That's my boy.

Wow, you know, I'm awfully free and loose at times but even I wouldn't do crap like this. And it's the freakin' NNSA of all people.

This is the 13th time in a little over four years that an audit has found the department, whose national laboratories and factories do most of the work in designing and building nuclear warheads, has lost control over computers used in working on the bombs.

Aside from computers it cannot find, the department is also using computers not listed in its inventory, and one computer listed as destroyed was in fact being used, the audit said.

www.mercurynews.com...