posted on Mar, 8 2007 @ 05:21 PM
I was actually thinking more on the lines of seriousness.. Something a bit more extreme than mushrooms.. I'll give an example..
Today, I went to work... I was feeling pretty ill, so I was contemplating leaving early, and if they didn't let me, I would have just quit.. That's
how ill I felt.. And the thing is, it was only a three hour shift. I toughed it out for the rest of my shift, although it was pretty rough, I
managed. When I got home, I couldn't find my key.. So how was I to get into the house? The window of course. And when I did get in, I stepped on
one of my ciger casings, which is a mystery as to how it got way the hell over there, considering they are usually in my dresser in my bedroom. Then
I just HAD to cut myself when picking up the broken capsule. Er, it sucks, now there's little glass particals in my fingers. To top it off, I had a
conversation with my mother, via telephone. I could tell already that she was having a bad day, so it had it's reaction on me, considering I was
already having a bad day. All was well at first, but then we started to argue. I was supposed to go home for the weekend, but now she doesn't want
me going. The thing that f*****g pissed me off was that she compared what she had been through to me. We've been through a really rough time in the
last couple of years or so. I was cursing and yelling on the phone, telling her that he frustrations were puny compared to mine. In a sense, is
true.. Considering i'm still living that frustration for the rest of my life.. Although, she has had a real rough time too, as well as the rest of
my family. I don't know why I said the things I said, but I was pissed. Now i'm stuck here alone... Again. My father was supposed to pick me up
tonight, but now I doubt it. I don't really want to go home now. Ever. That place makes me sick.. If there's something more hateful than that
god forsaken place, then that place must seem like heaven. And I really doubt that I could hate something more than all the hate I have for that
place. And at the same time, I love that place. So there's mixed emotions about the whole thing. Now I feel guilty for what I said, knowing that
my mother is probably sobbing on her little section of the world, it tears me apart. I know i'm in for a round with my dad, but I guess I deserve
it.. As well as every bad thing to come my way. :bnghd:
I should have learned my lesson by now... I guess i've got some serious thinking to do. Once again... Constant realization is a whore..