Newz Forum: OTHER: Dean's List: The Boston Patriots of Foxborough

Art Moreno kicked off the New Year in style by renaming his baseball team "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" to broaden its marketplace appeal. How Hollywood of him - image is, after all, everything in LA...

Now marketing experts everywhere expect Bob Kraft to cash in on this trend by renaming his football team "The Boston Patriots of Foxborough," just in time for the playoffs...

On the heels of a 2-14 season, with no relief in sight, the San Francisco 49ers plan on changing their name to "The Lemony Snickets." Because ever since penny-pinching owner John York took over for Eddie DeBartolo, Jr., their existence can be aptly summarized as "A Series of Unfortunate Events"...

Contrary to the hype, Carolina head coach John Fox didn't do such a marvelous job in 2004. Sure, he led the Panthers to a 6-2 record own the stretch. And yes, his team overcame numerous injuries to key players to make that push. But the fact remains that he let the defending NFC champs fall to 1-7. And regardless of injuries, that's inexcusable, even in these volatile days of Parity. Way back in 2003, Bill Belichick's Patriots led the league in wins and injuries, going 14-2 en route to a Super Bowil XXXVIII victory over Fox's Panthers. Belichick was awarded Coach of the Year, with Fox coming in a close second. This year, Belichick has once again seen his team ravaged by injury only to lead them to another 14-2 regular season. Now that's worthy of hype. And like it or not, that's Super...

A hybrid of New England head coach Bill Belichick and Baltimore head coach Brian Billick would almost certainly thrive on the NFL sidelines, especially when you consider the diversity of their backgrounds - Belichick came up on defense, Billick on offense. But what would we name this gridiron guru, this man-coach supreme? Bill Billichick? Brian Billichick? Or Bill Billick?

Maybe the Sirius ad was right. Maybe Tom Brady's favorite receiver is a satellite radio. Forget about Troy Brown, who's contributed more as a nickel back (17 tackles, three interceptions, two fumble recoveries) than as a wide receiver (17 catches for 184 yards, one touchdown). David Givens caught 56 balls for 872 yards and three touchdowns in fifteen games - good numbers, but he faded down the stretch and didn't find the end zone once in the last eight games. Deion Branch was good but injury prone, catching 35 balls for 454 yards and four touchdowns in only nine games. And David Patten re-established himself as the group's deep threat with 44 catches for 800 yards and a team-high seven touchdowns in sixteen games. Who knows why Brady doesn't have a go-to-guy? Maybe it's his penchant for thorough ball distribution. Maybe it's the parity among his receiving corps. Or maybe it's just dumb luck. But one thing's for sure: Tom Brady's favorite receiver isn't anyone on the New England Patriots. But Siriusly...

If Brady and the Patriots are "The Brady Bunch," head coach Mike Mularkey and the Buffalo Bills are "A Bunch of Mularkey"...

Heading into the final week of the season, despite their modest records, the 9-6 Bills and 7-8 Panthers were unanimously billed as the "most dangerous" teams in the league, teams "nobody wants to play in the playoffs." Well fear not, playoff teams, because the two scariest teams in the NFL didn't even make the playoffs...

What in the name of common sense is a "pre-season player of the year"?

Three nights ago, on New Year's Eve, when I wasn't watching The Day After Tomorrow, I spent much of the evening wondering why they call it "First Night." Seems more like "last night" or "first morning" to me. I'm Dean Christopher...

[Edited on 1/3/05 by deanchristopher]

Ming would consider giving Carolina's Fox comeback coach of the year award.

Yes he dug a huge hole for hmself - but let's be fair, he did a pretty damn good job diging himself out of it when others would have just thrown in the towel.

Speaking of hybrids, Ming would want to work World Champion Bosox 2nd baseman Mark Bellhorn into Bill Hornichik or Bell Billhorn or aww forget it...

Ming-

Bill Bellhornichick would be a good football coach (part Belichick, part Billick), a solid infielder (part Bellhorn), and a pure shooter (part Jeff Hornacek) - not to mention a damn fine musical instrument.

Also:

Blackhawks LW Mark Bell+Saints WR Joe Horn=Red Sox 2B Mark Bellhorn.

-DC

Ming will demote you to Assistant Dean if you continue to mock him!

Originally posted by deanchristopher
Blackhawks LW Mark Bell+Saints WR Joe Horn=Red Sox 2B Mark Bellhorn.

hmm, sounds like baking a cake or something...