Newz Forum: OTHER: Dean's List: Rap Sheets, page 1

Amidst the fallout from the Pacers/Pistons melee, things seem to have worked out just fine for Indiana's Ron Artest...

He got some time off (a suspension for the remainder of the NBA season), a "rap sheet" and the necessary publicity to properly promote his new hip hop album...

Socioeconomics aside, the dichotomy between NBA players and fans is growing faster than the national deficit. But it's not just about blaming the players' rising salaries, declining ages and suffering attitudes for this rift. The rising unruliness and sense of entitlement of bitter fans is just as telling...

Speaking of which, when I say "rap sheet," do you think of a criminal record or written hip hop lyrics?

When I say "poor sport," do you think of a sore loser or a failing athletic league?

When I say "super duty," do you of a Ford F-Series truck or a giant piece of crap?

And when I say "sports fan," do you think of an athletics fanatic or a sideline cooling mechanism?

There's a book out there by Mike Shropshire called "When the Tuna Went Down to Texas: How Bill Parcells led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land." As you can probably guess, it documents the 2003 season - Parcells' first with the team - during which the Cowboys returned to prominence by making the playoffs with a 10-6 record. How quickly things can change. The struggling Cowboys are now 3-7, and barring a miracle there will be no promised land for Dallas' in 2004. In fact, this season has been such a disaster for Bill Parcells that I'm thinking about writing a book about it. I think I'll call it "When the Tuna Went Down in Texas: How Bill Parcells led the Cowboys Straight to Hell"...

I'm not a gambling man, but what are the odds that Pete Rose has a bet going that he'll back in baseball?

I wonder: Does Joe Pesci think the University of Utah's mascot is a "Ute" or a "Youth"?

And is a Lady Husky the same thing as a husky lady?

Watching the anemic Miami Dolphins try to run the football is like watching paint dry. And watching them pass is like watching it chip...

With a different cast and an alternate twist, the "Desperate Housewife" segment on ABC could have worked. The cross-promotional spot should have featured McNabb - arguably the NFL's first African-American golden boy - snubbing Nicolette Sheridan, not being lured by her charm. This scenario would have made Sheridan seem even more "desperate," refuted stereotypes, kept the spot PG-13 and added an element of surprise to an otherwise drab teaser...

I don't keep a journal, but I am a journalist. I'm Dean Christopher...