i'm a bad-boy...she digs my style, HELP

Originally posted by Lysergic
ahhh... I thought you were wearing some type of homoerotic fantasy cloak...
errrm...what?

I am 5'9 so yeah I am short but I'm ready to scuffle like Bruce Lee if someone wants to test me I'm ready.
bruce lee once admitted that a tough boxer could kick the crap outta him..r u ready to do the same? not advising you to run or anything..but not backing away could be suicide
Didn't realise it was some sort of racist thing in Ukraine...
it goes way beyond that my friend

as I am American and generally accepting of all people.

americans accepting of all people? sheesh!!

if you're white..when's the next time you'll give your daughter's hand in marriage to a negro instead of a college-graduate healthy white male with a future?

do what you gotta do to get with this girl if you feel so strongly about her thats the best advice.
and that could possibly be a reason why i'm not sure if i recognize any green lights, and am debating just WTF to do

If you truly wish to be with her, then make it happen.
could do that..and get a slap in the face u know+lose everything, i wanna make absolutely sure i dont mess this up
Like I said before # those other guys man, let them be the jealous bitches they are.

you have had some past experience with guys approaching you demanding you leave a girl alone or else...and u backed away? is this regret i read..i see your point, and yes, i should make the most of this while i have the chance

[Edited on 28-12-2003 by Cyrus]

as they say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...

Yeah I know boxing can wtfpwn martail arts, my step father was a golden gloves champ in the 70s

When I said I was American I meant I just didn't understand what you meant about them being inferior as I don't know much about that side of the world

When I say I am accepting I speak for only myself.

If I was to have a daughter and she wants to go with black dude thats her choice.

Now...

Just because he is black doesn't mean he is going to be any less than a white kid.

There are plenty of stupid ass white people

If I don't like someone it's because of their charatcer not skin color.

Wow ....
I just found this thread, as usual being the last to comment

The first thing I would say is that your social world seems alien to mine, therefore forgive me if I miss the some of the unspoken assumptions that you take for granted.

Before I can work on the answer to "how to have a relationship and not lose your machoness and "respect", I need to talk about YOU. The answer to your question is not what you do but who you are. Nothing I say that follows is any attack on you, just trying to draw out who you REALLY are, not the mask you have made, and give some ways for you to work through this change in your life...

What is the need for such an obviously false persona as the tough guy, and cold person that you feel you have to portray? It is plain from your comments that the mask just doesn't fit you any more, you are growing out of that stage of your life just like you grow out of your clothes.

So why did you develop it to start off with?
Was it a form of physical protection, as a Russian in the Ukraine, does it protect you from violence? If this is the case, does losing that mask lose your protection? and is your society so dangerous that to be yourself, leads to persecution. If so how do other teenagers of your situation cope?

Is your perception of violence over emphasised? Sometimes when you are caught up in a situation, the people and events of it generalise so that you think ALL society is like that. So if you mix with criminals long enough then you think even ordinay people are like criminals. Is your fear of violence REAL, or just imaginary? That is the first question you really have to ask yourself, before you can venture further.

What is your definition of what it means to be a "man" Where did this come from? Who are the other men in your life who are role models? What was your father like, and what did / does he teach you (even if he never said) about what it means to be a man? I say this because there is very little in what you have written so far that I would identify as "manliness".

Is your definition REAL. If you found your definiton of what is a man is NOT real then you are free to drop your mask, and be you.

For example teenage gangs don't have a "real" defnintion of what it means to be a man, because they don't know any "real men". Beacuse of that they invent rules that they THINK explain what manliness is. But its not. So for some gangs, killing someone makes you a man, having sex makes you a man, beating up people makes you a man. Where in reality none of thse things have ANYTHING to do with "manliness" and everything to do with immaturity. Talk to some real men here, like TC, William, Bob, and see that I am right.

You are slowly starting to realise that your definition of being a man does not allow you to grow, to be mature.

You are stuck in a teenage imagination of what a "man" really is. Would you see Arnie fall in love in Predator and share who he is? No, Why not?

He is not real, and he is not a "man", he is a manufactured characiture of only one part of a person.

Being a man is not like being an Arnie
You are acting a role that is manufactured, you have described how you built it, but you didn't build your mask to include others.

So what is a man? Here are some pointers...
A man doesn't NEED respect (this will shock all the teenagers here I know)
If you feel you have a need for others to respect you, and your mask helps you achieve that need, then that is wrong. True respect is not earned through fear, respect comes through integrity. If I beat you up everytime I see you you will fear me, and you will show respect, but you will think hate.

If this is how you get respect, through being frightening to others then you are really weak inside and you are only hiding that weakness. You are thinking "If they know who I really am then they won't respect me" You hate yourself.

A real man needs relationships No man is an island. You are learning that, don't choose to be one, otherwise you will NEVER become a true man.

A real man grows emotionally Hell you have barely begun to experience life, you MUST grow to stay as you are would make you a child in a mans body. Arnie in Predator IS a child in a mans body.

OK, and here are some corollaries...

You attract those who are like you. If you are not true to yourself then the people you attract to you are not likeing YOU they only like your mask. That is dangerous. I would be VERY wary of the girl who is attracted to you. What she sees in you is NOT you, but something she NEEDS. If She needs a strong cold "macho" person her life is screwed up.

This girl is not right for you as the person she sees is not you.

You will not change until you get out of your situation Get out of your school / town / city as fast as you can. Go to Uni far away from where your home is. Then you can be free to drop your mask and become a real person.

Hope this helps, sorry for the length of it, but short answer give no solutions, YOU are the only solution to this, you need to grow through this time, ditch your mask, ditch those who are attracted to your mask, and start afresh.

Otherwise you will never become a man, only male.....




[Edited on 29-12-2003 by Netchicken]

Originally posted by Netchicken
Wow ....
I just found this thread, as usual being the last to comment

check, the date this thread was started

The first thing I would say is that your social world seems alien to mine, therefore forgive me if I miss the some of the unspoken assumptions that you take for granted.
agreed..you are making assumptions, and reflecting your advice on the situation revolving around your hemisphere

Before I can work on the answer to \"how to have a relationship and not lose your machoness and \"respect\", I need to talk about YOU. The answer to your question is not what you do but who you are. Nothing I say that follows is any attack on you, just trying to draw out who you REALLY are, not the mask you have made, and give some ways for you to work through this change in your life...
the mask...has been with me for so long it\'s become a part of me, i have no choice or say in the matter, sadly..i dont even trip up on anything i say anymore, have i become too skilled in masking \"me\"? what defines \"me\"? i dont see who i\'m looking for..everytime i stare in a mirror, see the reflection, feel like smashing the mirror up coz of what i\'d become(possibly a goth?)

What is the need for such an obviously false persona as the tough guy, and cold person that you feel you have to portray? It is plain from your comments that the mask just doesn\'t fit you any more, you are growing out of that stage of your life just like you grow out of your clothes.
dont know...not too sure about that, i\'m tough, i\'ve joined army school a few times, i might have an inner me who resorts to keeping the image up, but i know i\'ve made an impact, there is no other me...no other option, and if u mean me being gay? nope, not gay

So why did you develop it to start off with?

Was it a form of physical protection, as a Russian in the Ukraine, does it protect you from violence? If this is the case, does losing that mask lose your protection? and is your society so dangerous that to be yourself, leads to persecution. If so how do other teenagers of your situation cope?
mainly because i got too caught up in my own actions..made sure i aimed to be perfect? tried to be an idiot-deterrant in the process, i\'ve never been robbed here, not since i got \"meaner\".
i try and help any1 in distress? however...i am well-off, compared to the other teenagers in society, students tend to get robbed more than the elderly, and therefore? no1 is likely to pick on me the way i am, call it a forcefield.
i tried to make sure i was the alpha male in the group? because i was entitled to do so? i made SURE no1 would come at me without knowing the consequences, plus...the nice thing is i get a sidekick go figure

Is your perception of violence over emphasised?
Sometimes when you are caught up in a situation, the people and events of it generalise so that you think ALL society is like that. So if you mix with criminals long enough then you think even ordinay people are like criminals. Is your fear of violence REAL, or just imaginary? That is the first question you really have to ask yourself, before you can venture further.

this is the bit where i officially think you\'re a psychologist devoting some time to increase your analysis spectrum, NO-ONE apart from a good psychologist could have stated the above, past experience with patients ai??
so, you would like to understand what constitutes this NEW BREED of teenager? well, all our perceptions of the world\'s groteque devolution-like stage motivates one to be wary...i\'m talking in general?
girls tend to be aware of old men, labelled as pedophiles upon eyecontact, and if approached? god help that poor old man if he offers candy.

this world isn\'t safe..not perfect, but that has been blown WAY out of proprtion..i mean, paranoia is an every-day thing now!! compare TODAY with the 1920\'s.

i will be honest though..there is a feeling in my stomach-pit telling me to be aware, telling me i need to survive? a predestination to the world\'s occurances? or an obsessive addiction needing medical attention..at any rate? i dislike the way the world rotates, \"what has become of our youth\", i also HATE snotty spoilt brats, and i\'m constantly surrounded by them at school...so hmmm, i dont count them as inferior, since we\'ve all been there..but i do decide to stop all conversations with that \"ilk\", i also dislike helpless sheeple..army school had some impact on my performance \"practicality-wise\" before i evolved.(ie: my tastes changed...no racing cars for me)
am i suffering from something? u make the call

What is your definition of what it means to be a \"man\" Where did this come from? Who are the other men in your life who are role models? What was your father like, and what did / does he teach you (even if he never said) about what it means to be a man? I say this because there is very little in what you have written so far that I would identify as \"manliness\".


actually? my personality came from a few quick changes in location/maturity/influence on people\'s decisions and mostly? my overall perception skills increased vastly.


Is your definition REAL. If you found your definiton of what is a man is NOT real then you are free to drop your mask, and be you.
i\'m not gay damnit!!

For example teenage gangs don\'t have a \"real\" defnintion of what it means to be a man, because they don\'t know any \"real men\". Beacuse of that they invent rules that they THINK explain what manliness is. But its not. So for some gangs, killing someone makes you a man, having sex makes you a man, beating up people makes you a man. Where in reality none of thse things have ANYTHING to do with \"manliness\" and everything to do with immaturity. Talk to some real men here, like TC, William, Bob, and see that I am right.

i must tread quietly in this area...if i raise any disputes against the candidates mentioned above i wont fare off well...i\'ve seen a picture of william though, cool guy, who would\'ve thought he liked art?? lol

you\'re a super-mod NC.. i understand you are hammering the last nail into this friendship bridge you\'ve built with the people mentioned above? in hope to achieve a permament status?

don\'t bite my head off for saying so, but why wouldn\'t u mention those examples..unless in attempt to increase your personal benefit?



You are slowly starting to realise that your definition of being a man does not allow you to grow, to be mature.
NC..yes it does, this is the last pit-stop in maturity, in fact? it\'s time i go on the track and prove my worth, and it\'s also time for me to make sure i settle down and proceed to dig a hole

You are stuck in a teenage imagination of what a \"man\" really is. Would you see Arnie fall in love in Predator and share who he is? No, Why not?

He is not real, and he is not a \"man\", he is a manufactured characiture of only one part of a person.

Being a man is not like being an Arnie
You are acting a role that is manufactured, you have described how you built it, but you didn\'t build your mask to include others.

i didn\'t..i know i didn\'t include others YET, how do i do that and keep the \"mask\"? the mask\'s here to stay...it\'s too late to change

So what is a man? Here are some pointers...
A man doesn\'t NEED respect (this will shock all the teenagers here I know)

NC, how much can u possibly salvage from that point? i know what i am, and it\'s not a choice of whether i wanna be a MAN or not, fact remains..i am what i\'ve become, and there really is no going back since i\'m so close to perfecting my status? we teenagers all feel we owe it to life to try and be motivated, we try and accomplish all we can in a shorter time..time is of the essence, and therefore, we..as an already aging generation start looking down on anything copying us, our parents handed us down this world, and in turn..we are likely to do worse..and the sad thing is we all know it\'s inevitable.(NOT my impression...kids my age are ALOT more concerned about this? or is it that prozac doesnt get distributed right

being a man\'s got nothing to do with this, your average teenager in society(with a leeeeetle bit of inteligence) realizes that in fact he is not immune to the surroundings, and in fact..a force-field is more of a benchmark, if crossed? all hell breaks loose and a teenager can therefore act as he see\'s fit (killings happen everyday due to this) i\'ve gone a little heavy in this last paragraph..but i hope i\'ve conveyed some unjumbled thoughts in the process?

If you feel you have a need for others to respect you, and your mask helps you achieve that need, then that is wrong. True respect is not earned through fear, respect comes through integrity. If I beat you up everytime I see you you will fear me, and you will show respect, but you will think hate.
agreed...i did comment on that in an earlier post, my sponsoring hate is the last thing i need, however...fear? i\'ve MADE SURE no1\'s afraid of me physically, but \"with my wit\"..which in effect? has diminished any existing conflicts into an extremely passive state(virtually non-existant)

If this is how you get respect, through being frightening to others then you are really weak inside and you are only hiding that weakness. You are thinking \"If they know who I really am then they won\'t respect me\" You hate yourself.

actually? this is where you reached the fork in the road...and went straight, wrong. i don\'t hate myself, lol, why would i? i\'m kinda happy with who i am...let me put it this way-i\'m far from suicide, and would rather exist than not? however i\'m indifferent to who i am and where i am...\"reckless\" more passive to people\'s oppinions

A real man needs relationships No man is an island. You are learning that, don\'t choose to be one, otherwise you will NEVER become a true man.

you concentrate on resorting to a disheveled path, a backdoor to my thinking, expecting me to iterate : \"i already AM a man\", nothing to think of there? an \"alpha male brought back to earth\" isn\'t the case here, it\'s more like: i\'m \"discreet, and i\'ve become good at it\"...nice method, don\'t use it.

A real man grows emotionally Hell you have barely begun to experience life, you MUST grow to stay as you are would make you a child in a mans body. Arnie in Predator IS a child in a mans body.
you have been openly influenced by the film? or will you resort to saying it was there for example\'s sake

OK, and here are some corollaries...

You attract those who are like you. If you are not true to yourself then the people you attract to you are not likeing YOU they only like your mask. That is dangerous. I would be VERY wary of the girl who is attracted to you. What she sees in you is NOT you, but something she NEEDS. If She needs a strong cold \"macho\" person her life is screwed up.
agreed, i am wary, i\'m also sure my \"mask\'s\" there to stay, it won\'t fall off ever... no matter what\'s thrown at me i am ready to accept it, for i have officially become? the island, too late my friend, i think i need to evolve a plan over HOW i am to convey my thoughts in an orderly manner to friends, my old me? was a maturity thing..i have now matured, have a coo@�
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Wow, thanks for replying so openly. I know what I am going to say will get your back up, but I mean no ofence, just trying to open your eyes and mind to alternatives.

Firstly the Gay part. It never once entered my mind when making that post, when I am talking about a "real man" its not anything about being gay.

Here I am going to step on some toes, but your reaction to that suggests that part of your mask, part of your fear of not being seen as "macho / a man" comes from some fear of being seen as weak or gay. Your belief of what a man is is very similar to what a person from the 1950's here would have thought. Being cold, distant, aloof, are the stereotypes of a male that is funadamentally flawed. To be a man, is to have emotions and openenss.

As to your mask, you enjoy its protection, its prestige and power, at the moment to actually give it up (I didn't expect you to say "Hey NC is right! I can be a free person, and dance off through fields of flowers" ) But it is not perfect, because you have "constructed it" it is not natural. It WILL kill you in the end. IT is not YOU.

It seems that physical protection is not the purpose of it so much but emotional protection and a fear of being seen as weak, or worse. The worst place to learn what a man is at a boys school, or a military college, as you seem to have attended at some time.

In these unnatural environments, there is no natural benchmark of what is "manliness" and what is not.

As they do not have interactions with females they do not have a line to say "I am a male, this is a female I am not like her therefore I am male," So how to teenage males define themselves in such places? They find the weakest males in the group, define them as female, persecute them, and say "I am not like that person therefore I am male." One of the biggest fears teenage males have is to be thought as one of these "male girls". This appears to be a part of the reason for your mask.

I mentioned the other supermods as people you might know, who have families, and are successful, and for no other reason. I don't expect that they would even read this thread and I have no other intention but to use them as examples. I also used them along side Arnie beacuse he is a stereotype, like Rambo, that teenagers think men are, and try to immitate them. Rambo and Arnie are not real men. Your mask which copies the same charactoristics is not real either - you are only 1/2 a man, the physical half, and you know it.

So how do you get out from behind the mask? You may not be able to in your current circumstances, hence my last suggestion that you get out and start afresh. But firstly before you can take the mask off, you need to know that it is safe, that you will not be judged as "weak" or worse just because you express emotions or want to develop another part of your personality.

i'm also sure my "mask'\" there to stay, it won't fall off ever... no matter what's thrown at me i am ready to accept it, for i have officially become? the island, too late my friend, i think i need to evolve a plan over HOW i am to convey my thoughts in an orderly manner to friends, my old me? was a maturity thing..i have now matured,

No, you are wrong, your personality and self development will carry on as you age, you CAN change, when you realise that you want to, at this stage you are at the "pre awareness" level. Knowing that something is wrong but not knowing what it is. You are too young to be an island, there are too many pretty girls for you to meet yet

The worst thing that can happen to you is that you become trapped by your mask, as long as you realise that the You you project is not the real you, then you will slowly chip away at it. At this stage you have protected yourself emotionally with your mask and wonder why should you change. But as you move out of school into uni and meet people who are "natural" you will realise how "unnatural" your mask is.

Finally your fears are wrong and they trap you behind your mask. Don't fear being thought of as weak, fear being arrogent, superior, emotionless, cold, distant. These will keep you from your humanity, these traits will keep you from your true humanity, and will push you into a life that you will hate.

About your friend, know that she too is flawed and wounded somewhere. How about trying to realate to her as a friend first, and get to know her life, underneath the mask that she is wearing there is probably a hurt, scared little girl. As she tells you about her life, you may start to see parallels with your own.


[Edited on 29-12-2003 by Netchicken]

Originally posted by Netchicken
Wow, thanks for replying so openly. I know what I am going to say will get your back up, but I mean no ofence, just trying to open your eyes and mind to alternatives.
no it's cool...recieving/accepting advice is necessary in my case..undoubtedly i will always be lacking in etiquette so humour me

Firstly the Gay part. It never once entered my mind when making that post, when I am talking about a "real man" its not anything about being gay.
hehe...my fault

Here I am going to step on some toes, but your reaction to that suggests that part of your mask, part of your fear of not being seen as "macho / a man" comes from some fear of being seen as weak or gay.

in a sense? yes..it's a rat-race

Your belief of what a man is, is very similar to what a person from the 1950's here would have thought. Being cold, distant, aloof, are the stereotypes of a male that is funadamentally flawed. To be a man, is to have emotions and openenss.

how can one determine an actual boundary? a benchmark..to start from? how do you know a man should have emotions and be open NC... you don't

in fact? how did the first cave-man evolve..so-to-speak? a knuckle-dragging chest-beating club-carrying oaf, ready to beat the crap out of anything/one standing in his path.
Civilization has looped around and bit it's own @ss, i call it devolution, a chain-reaction caused by bad parenting to start with..am i right in thinking so?
i noticed how quickly you resorted to that ledge, instead of carrying on down the rat hole and seeing how the rat-race was doing?, NC this generation is doomed to self-destruct, call it God "testing" humanity, call it anything u like..but the way i see it? "survival of the smartest" will be our next slogan.
(not trying to shift the subject...just trying to materialize a view some of us have)

the schooling systems suck, education is at an all-time low, hell..i'm sick of answering right.
i and a few of my friends have debated teaching ourselves instead of getting spoon-fed # in school by teachers denying their suffering ADD & barely able to pronounce a word right.

this is the very reason why i in turn, hope a war occurs...and if u look at my posts carefully on ATS, you will see a pattern forming, a correlation of facts, where John titor's words intertwine with facts as a reminder to all, i'm just sick of the way our generation feeds off a few anomalous defects in humanity and resort to bullying when mental aqcuity fails, i really....really..detest bullies, and therefore? is this enough proof to show you how off-track you were when first judging me as the alpha male

As to your mask, you enjoy its protection, its prestige and power, at the moment to actually give it up (I didn't expect you to say "Hey NC is right! I can be a free person, and dance off through fields of flowers"

) But it is not perfect, because you have "constructed it" it is not natural. It WILL kill you in the end. IT is not YOU.
this "mask" has been paced to get as close results to what i percieved as "the perfect man" as possible, however..there are circumstances where i've lost my temper a few times, but nothing violent damnit!! u see what i;m getting at? it's best to be quiet, looming if challenged, and calm at all times than -IN-UR-FACE sort of thing..meh, i'll take the mask anyday

It seems that physical protection is not the purpose of it so much but emotional protection and a fear of being seen as weak, or worse. The worst place to learn what a man is at a boys school, or a military college, as you seem to have attended at some time.
never send your kids at the age of 16 to army school..especially army-school in the summer

In these unnatural environments, there is no natural benchmark of what is "manliness" and what is not.
but then...doesnt that contradict what you previously stated? i see you've decided against creating a benchmark

As they do not have interactions with females they do not have a line to say "I am a male, this is a female I am not like her therefore I am male," So how to teenage males define themselves in such places? They find the weakest males in the group, define them as female, persecute them, and say "I am not like that person therefore I am male." One of the biggest fears teenage males have is to be thought as one of these "male girls". This appears to be a part of the reason for your mask.
that weak male i am ready to aid, if picked on, i'm crazy enough to do so and stare down any @ss that does pretend to be the other leader and put him in his place..no matter how many teeth i lose over it, and that's putting it lightly? however..never make me a pres though

or i'll face up to the wrong people and end up destroying myself hehe

I mentioned the other supermods as people you might know, who have families, and are successful, and for no other reason. I don't expect that they would even read this thread and I have no other intention but to use them as examples. I also used them along side Arnie beacuse he is a stereotype, like Rambo, that teenagers think men are, and try to immitate them. Rambo and Arnie are not real men. Your mask which copies the same charactoristics is not real either - you are only 1/2 a man, the physical half, and you know it.

lol

So how do you get out from behind the mask? You may not be able to in your current circumstances, hence my last suggestion that you get out and start afresh. But firstly before you can take the mask off, you need to know that it is safe, that you will not be judged as "weak" or worse just because you express emotions or want to develop another part of your personality.
no emotions must be expressed...at any stage in life, the less emotions in the presence of other alpha males..the better things are, since..if u are phased/affected by occurances that proves a vulnerable exploit

i'm also sure my "mask'\" there to stay, it won't fall off ever... no matter what's thrown at me i am ready to accept it, for i have officially become? the island, too late my friend, i think i need to evolve a plan over HOW i am to convey my thoughts in an orderly manner to friends, my old me? was a maturity thing..i have now matured,

No, you are wrong, your personality and self development will carry on as you age, you CAN change, when you realise that you want to, at this stage you are at the "pre awareness" level. Knowing that something is wrong but not knowing what it is.pre-awareness level? what are we picking up?

You are too young to be an island, there are too many pretty girls for you to meet yet

that worries me..i know you're right, but i seriously narrow down my spectrum by eliminating any skanks/average looking/ nothing darker than brown/red haired girls(and that's natural hair color i'm talking), that makes things a lot harder for me, and i need to act before 21? i'm 17 now, my options start going downhill as soon as i'm half-way thru UNI

The worst thing that can happen to you is that you become trapped by your mask, as long as you realise that the You you project is not the real you, then you will slowly chip away at it. At this stage you have protected yourself emotionally with your mask and wonder why should you change. But as you move out of school into uni and meet people who are "natural" you will realise how "unnatural" your mask is.
making sure that doesnt happen wont be easy..finding a level of equilibrium will only go with me through experience, advice will get me to the mid-point quicker
Finally your fears are wrong and they trap you behind your mask. Don't fear being thought of as weak, fear being arrogentno, superioryes, emotionlessno, coldyes, distantyes. These will keep you from your humanity, these traits will keep you from your true humanity, and will push you into a life that you will hate.

changing any of the above-mentioned, will ultimately rip my rep. to shreds, that setup could be what i'm stuck with for life no?

About your friend, know that she too is flawed and wounded somewhere. How about trying to realate to her as a friend first, and get to know her life, underneath the mask that she is wearing there is probably a hurt, scared little girl. As she tells you about her life, you may start to see parallels with your own.
agreed...i wasnt going to take advantage of her in any way, i was just worried that she might be onto me, gathering info on her? what could be easier...however, offering her a shoulder to cry on? ummm, that could be part of her game

but whatever, i'm way too perceptive



some excellent points made ,no doubt about that..on a more serious note: i need some pointers on what to do/say/buy/get so as to impress a girl i've never come across before in my life?
amazing stuff

[Edited on 29-12-2003 by Netchicken]

[Edited on 29-12-2003 by Cyrus]

you have had some past experience with guys approaching you demanding you leave a girl alone or else...and u backed away? is this regret i read..i see your point, and yes, i should make the most of this while i have the chance

No, if I see a girl I like I will go talk to her no matter what anyone else thinks because its my life, not theirs, don't allow yourself to be controlled by others.

LYSERGIC
, care to share what exactly you'd talk to the girl about?
lol, and yes..your life, your way, however, understand that i simply intended that as a question, i apologize, no insults intended.

any advice you're willing to share will be welcomed, thx

*edited to remove a metaphor*

[Edited on 29-12-2003 by Cyrus]

Woohoo! I enjoyed reading that exchange between Cyrus and Netchicken...that was some sound advice he tried to give you Cyrus. In the long run you'll have to know yourself to have a solid relationship. Even close friendships demand this. Still, you recognize that it is only a mask and that you aren't really that "hard". I don't think it's a big deal at your age to wear a mask, but eventually you are going to have to let someone in to see the real you, so maybe you shouldn't hold on to it so tightly. Sorry to hear the date was a group thing...but, I also think you should hang with the group and make close personal friendships. Begin to open up. Embracing social interaction is an important part of getting to know yourself, not just as a man but as a person.

hi sapphonia
yes, NC did devote a lot, and no i didn't throw it all back in his face, it hasnt gone to waste.. i'll keep everything in mind as i proceed with age.
could it be an age thing? are you sure...
i mean, i'm fairly happy the way i am, and i doubt i'd change, and yes i will have to be more open to people in the future..if i am to have good friends:shk:

but where does all this end? i'm starting to get a little confused though, since the girl i liked has been cancelled out due to personal problems? and therefore that leaves..me out in the open, again.
a miserable,
Cyrus
:bash:

First of all, your already "playing fake"

Your not authentic... Your not real, your a poser..
You think that if you let your gaurd down people won't "respect" you.

Truth of the matter is, people will respect you more for being who you really are...

Nobody is born a hard ass. These are characteristics you pick up along the way because you've gotten into bad, uncomfortable situations.

Nobody wants to mess with you because they don't want to be confronted in an uncomfortable situation, just like you don't want to let your gaurd down because you'll be in an uncomfortable situation.
If you were truly cold as ice, I don't believe you would be posting this thread, because it shows that you in fact are the opposite.



Not to mention, you and her still have some growing up to do. But your not there yet, so I won't go there.

In the mean time, since she digs your style, and you don't want to let your gaurd down in fear people will find out who you "really" are, keep playing the part.

But just remember, it's going to eat at you in the back of your head as time goes on...

You'll say to yourself, this isn't me, I want to be me, but but but but....blaaaah!

Cut through this poser sh*t and just be who you are.

You can only become who you really want to be when your ready. In the mean time. Just keep posing.

Originally posted by TrueLies
First of all, your already "playing fake"

Your not authentic... Your not real, your a poser..
You think that if you let your gaurd down people won't "respect" you.

Truth of the matter is, people will respect you more for being who you really are...

Nobody is born a hard ass. These are characteristics you pick up along the way because you've gotten into bad, uncomfortable situations.

Nobody wants to mess with you because they don't want to be confronted in an uncomfortable situation, just like you don't want to let your gaurd down because you'll be in an uncomfortable situation.
If you were truly cold as ice, I don't believe you would be posting this thread, because it shows that you in fact are the opposite.



Not to mention, you and her still have some growing up to do. But your not there yet, so I won't go there.

In the mean time, since she digs your style, and you don't want to let your gaurd down in fear people will find out who you "really" are, keep playing the part.

But just remember, it's going to eat at you in the back of your head as time goes on...

You'll say to yourself, this isn't me, I want to be me, but but but but....blaaaah!

Cut through this poser sh*t and just be who you are.

You can only become who you really want to be when your ready. In the mean time. Just keep posing.

what he said.