Dilemma

Okay, here's a MAJOR problem I have.

There's this girl I know. We met a year or so ago, and as soon as we met we literally clicked and started casually seeing each other.

Then this other girl (total maneater) I used to have a big thing for came back in my life and I was smitten. I split with the girl to be with her... needless to say she broke my heart.

Anyway, while I was recovering me and the girl started to become very close again, and she often said to me that she missed me when I wasn't with her and then she told me that she loved me.
I laughed and said you shouldn't say things like that in case I took it the wrong way and seduced her. Then she said "No, really. I love you. Do you love me?" and I floundered and laughed (my usual escape from a tense situation) and acted all matey. "Yeah, I love being with you."

Recently, we have been getting even closer and spending loads of time together. So i'm thinking this could be good.

Then I learn from a mutual friend she's engaged (at 18!) to a guy in Croatia. Therefore, nothing can happen and probably never will so it will be better for me to back away slowly.


So my question is this... TELL ME HOW TO GET HER OFF MY MIND!?!

Umm hello engaged to a guy in a distant land? are you slightly retarded or something if she didnt mention it and aint wearing a ring then that isnt really what she wants so go after it.

Originally posted by Jovi1
Umm hello engaged to a guy in a distant land? are you slightly retarded or something if she didnt mention it and aint wearing a ring then that isnt really what she wants so go after it.

I'm going to have to say the same here. If she told you that she loves you, then asked you if you love her, then she is most likely interested in you. The only reason i could see her doing this is she wasn't is if you broke her heart or something and now she is trying to get revenge.

But seriously, engaged to a guy that is in Croatia? If she hasn't said anything to you buy now about it then i'm going to say that she doesn't really want to be with him, maybe she did at one time but has now had a change of heart.

The only thing i'm not too sure about is why she asked you if you love her. That doesn't seem too typical, but she could just be unique. What i mean is that i've learned that women who are unsure of you're feelings for them usually aren't that direct, they try to feel it out for themselves, but she could be different.

I would say that if you do have strong feelings for her, then maybe you two should have a serious talk to see if she means it in that way. I've also known people that say that to all of their friends, but as i don't know her i can't really say what she is getting at here.

If you want to be with her, then by all means go for it, but i would suggest using a bit of caution until you are sure she really feels this way.

If you don't want to be in a relationship with her, then let her know that you only want to be friends but don't be too harsh about it.

First you need to find out how you truly feel about her, if you could be with her would you, and do you really enjoy being with her. Then, find out how she feels. Once you know how you feel about her i believe it will be easier for you to handle the situation.

If you truly want to be with her, don't let an opportunity pass you by, you may regret it for the rest of your life. You are either going to end up being with her or not, if you do nothing then you know for sure what the outcome will be, so why not take a chance?

The decision is of course totally up to you, but i hope that i have helped you with clearing your mind in order to make that decision.

Good luck with whatever you do decide.

Peace

Pancho

One question my friend:

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

If you love this girl, put everything else aside and go for it. She obviously has feelings for you, so you make her aware of your feelings. But you need to be honest with her. If you don't see yourself with her in twenty years, back off. It wouldn't be fair for you to intervene on an engagement, if you have no intentions of staying with her. She's obviously a big girl who can make her own decisions. So if you are serious about her, let her make the decision rather than retreating into the darkness.

Stand up for what you want and let her know.

So what you need is:

● A Short Rope
● 3 Cheap Bottles of Wine
● A Copy of Ghost on DVD

Fate will cover the rest. Actually, you may want to leave the rope at home.

Jokes aside, you don't want to do any of that. Don't trick her into some little romantic night where you plan on making a move. You want to be in some sort of setting, preferably not a sporting event, where you can talk to her privately. Make her aware of your feelings and your intentions. It's always been my theory to be a man about it and always be a friend, even if she's not offering what you want, but thats your own call.

Honesty, you can never fail with honesty.

Good luck.

Believe me, I would LOVE to risk everything and just ask her what she really wants, but our friendship is amazing, and I wouldn't want to ruin it. Plus, I think there is alot of pressure from her family.

And we have spoke about him, but she always seems like she absolutely loathes talking about him when I'm around, but our friend says that she does love him.

Nothing worse than regret.

Shoot for the fences. Even if you come up short, atleast you'll know. If your friendship is half as good as you think it is, it will survive this.