Explanation of World Politics

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point where you have to sell both to
support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift
from your government.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, and pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised
when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the
hospital.


IRAQIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one is the the
best looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows
Most are illegal
Arnold likes the ones with the big tits.

That was a good read! Good job with that.

"POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them."

Goto Hell

ATS MEMBERS

You have two cows.
Colonel berates one until it gives no milk.
The second is abducted by aliens.
You don't care because you never believed they existed anyway.

LOL


[Edited on 25-4-2004 by Seth Bullock]

Just watch a bunch of Kindergarten kids playing.

Now imagine them with armies and nukes.

"That toy is mine!"

That is the world of politics simplified.....

~Face

Dex

This is brilliant. Rotflmao

May I send this to my cousin in Wi who thinks all cows ought to be deers because their prettier?

You're a Texan,
you have two cows.
you son trades them
for a handful of beans and fajitas.

Coalition

You have cows. Nobody knows exactly how many but you have cows.
You think another country has cows and this is bad.
You take over their country to get the cows.
There were never any cows.

India
You have 2 cows.
They are sacred.

[Edited on 26-4-2004 by UglyBoy]

Green Party

Where the hell are my cows?
No one ever gave us any god damed cows!
Maybe if we get some signatures we can get some cows.