Should I...?

Well I was a bit surprised to find a forum on this subject on this website...but since it's here I guess I'll use it.

For the past two years I have been in love. This person knows I'm in love with her, even though I haven't told her. I know that she does not love me back, even though she hasn't told me. We're very good friends, by the way. For some reason I feel like I should tell her. I think I have this uncanny feeling that if she doesn't actually tell me that she's not in love with me that I will not be able to move on with my life. But I also worry that if I tell her that our friendship will be awkward, and the last thing I want to do is ruin what we already have. So...should I tell her and bring some closure to my situation risking our friendship?

Sorry pal its time to just let it go and move on there is someone much better for you that will actually love you back. if your cool with being her friend then stay that way. why would you feel the need to tell her anyway, if you know she knows then there is enough said unless you really want to destroy your friendship. honestly your a man thinking like a man well if i hang in there and sacrifice and make myself availble eventually she will see me for the great catch i am, they do not work that way. well not very often at any rate. sorry about your situation and sorry if it seems hardhearted for me to say so just the way i see it.

Originally posted by an3rkist
For the past two years I have been in love. This person knows I'm in love with her, even though I haven't told her.

WTF are you waiting for?

I know that she does not love me back, even though she hasn't told me. We're very good friends, by the way.

Ah.

I think I have this uncanny feeling that if she doesn't actually tell me that she's not in love with me that I will not be able to move on with my life.

IF you don't, you're going to regret it. BUT, if you do, it might cause problems with your friendship.

As far as it being a risk, that kinda thing is allways a risk. There isn't much you can do by keeping quite about it. If its how you feel, and this person is a good friend, then, even if they don't feel the same, they should be able to still be comfortable with you.

And if you KNOW that she doesn't feel the same, WHY AREN'T you looking for someone else?? There's almost certainly another girl out there that you will feel just as strongly about, if ya open your eyes.

jovi1
well if i hang in there and sacrifice and make myself availble eventually she will see me for the great catch i am, they do not work that way

I agree with this part of what you are saying. Things aren't going to magically change of their own accord, or because you've been 'suffering' along the way. Either way, you've got to move on, either don't tell her, because it might be a problem, or do and get rejected, but either way, start looking somewhere else. Assuming, again, that she isn't actually interested.

I think you will need to do something about it..is this girl seeing anyone at the moment ? Speaking from personal experience of a similar situation,i was good friends with a girl i have previously had a relationship with.Two years down the line she started seeing this guy...and all those feelings i thought were gone bubbled to the surface and started manifesting themselves so that i eventually had to tell her what was going on.
I couldnt stay friends with her as i couldnt bare to hear about how she was getting on with her man.So i decided that i would stop being friends with her until i had sorted things out inside,which i eventually did.Dont get me wrong i love her to bits but now as sort of sister and i am just grateful that our friendship managed to survive after all.
Either way you have got to move on as people have previously posted...

Just go ahead and tell her. When you do, you'll have a minor rush, not to mention the relief of having everything out there all at once. Don't hold back, or you'll wish you hadn't.

Man you need to go ahead and tell her. You need to suck it up and forget about all the negative things that could happen.

How does she know that you love her if you haven't told her? Is this just a hunch or do you just express yourself in such a way that it would be easy to read?

If you do not tell her, then you will never know truly if she would say yes or not. You have to go for it. You can't just sit around and let this dwell up inside of you.

What happens when she finds someone else and they start dating? Will you just sit around and continue to feel the same way all the while waiting for them to break up just to be sitting there pondering whether or not you should tell her?

It has to be sometime, and I think that sometime has to be very soon or you may lose your chance. Good luck, and best wishes.

Ah, never mind. This thread can be closed now for all I care! Lol. She just called me to tell me she just got married. I don't think telling her is much of an option now, and I'd say that's all the closure I could possibly dream of getting. I guess I'm happy for her though! Congratulations!