If you receive a bomb threat...

This is your friendly neighborhood Department of Energy Director...

In today's dangerous day and age, we must constantly be on guard for terrorists, maleficents, malcontents, felony absconders and other assorted bad guys. And with the proliferation of bomb-making materials, we must take each and every report of a bomb threat seriously.

To that end, if you are on the receiving end of a bomb threat, remember to 1) stop, 2) drop and 3) roll. Afterwards, please fill out this form in triplicate and submit it to your nearest bureaucratic manager on duty....

phonebook.doe.gov...

And please, above all else, be calm, courteous, listen and do not interrupt the terrorist.


Sincerely,

Jack Handy, Director of Operations, Area 51

You may think that the idea of having a form to detail a phoned in bomb threat is humorous, but you'd be wrong.

I work for a gov't agancy (State gov't), in a call-center, and we have received bomb threats, by phone, on numerous occasions.

Bear in mind that all calls made to our "customer service" number are routed to a central call center; not, as most callers (including potential bombers/terrorists) might think, to somewhere in the building about to be blown. Although our phones are equipped with caller-ID, and although we are able to request the immediate dispatch of local law enforcement authorities to an identified site, it is extremely useful to record all available information about a potentially dangerous (or Stupid) individual.

Actually, I'd like to thank you for posting a link to that form; I intend to copy, print and submit it for adoption at my agency. It's far mor detailed, and thus useful, than the one we currently employ.