Is there a conspiracy against dads?

Every week for the past several months there are these guys who hold placards declaring things like: the court system is promoting child abuse, dads have rights against deadbeat moms, daddy loves you & won't abandon you "child's name", etc.

These guys have apparently lost complete custody of their child to their former spouses. On the surface, they don't appear to be deadbeat dads. There are grandpas out there too supporting their heartbroken sons. Their placards are professionally done & their protest appears to be organized & non-violent.

They are difficult to ignore and I suppose they are getting the word out in their own way.

And I do agree with something against the father; just look at television commercials.

With the couples that I know, the majority both have a working couple... I know of more responsible dad's than responsible mom's. Granted, it only takes a few PIGS to ruin the whole "father" picture (how many of you women, when faced with the "nice" guy don't believe him, because of the @$$holes). *where was I going...?*

Deadbeat dads should get the shaft. My wife's oldest son is from a previous relationship... I treat him as if he was my own (hell, I knew my "future wife" when she was still pregnant). His father never comes around to see the child... AND WE LIVE IN THE SAME SMALL TOWN. Then there are the guys, who, after getting someone pregnant, up and leave... TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

Oops... geting off subject...

Yet, there are MANY guys/dads out there who do anything and everything for their children... even for children that are not biologically theirs. Why is it that, when a divorce happens, the man gets the shaft? Why do the courts automatically award the children to the mother? Why is it assumed that we, the dads, care nothing about our children? Is it because of those... deadbeats who do nothing? Come one...

Everything should be taken at a case by case study. All dads are not bad or ill tempered. We love our children just as much as the mom's...

*In regards to television commercials, I'm still waiting to see the dad do dishes or laundry, or taking care of the child... enough of the "idiot dad" staring dumbly at the washer, or refusing to do dishes and housework; maybe, now that I think about it, is that what I'm supposed to do? Sit around all day?*

A link for good dads that are about to get the shaft from the US court system via a divorce proceeding:

CYA!
www.deltabravo.net...

Unfortunately, the way the court system looks at child custody in a divorce is largely biased towards the mother. I see variances from county to county where I live but for the most part, if a father wants joint custody without the mother's agreement, he has to fight like hell and I mean it. God help him if he wants full custody.
For some reason, the courts and child services automatically assume that the mother is the best place for the child regardless of age or the child's desire. The father is put in the position to prove that he is going to provide a better environment for raising the child.
In my opinion, the protesters you saw should be looked upon with respect, for many fathers who lose their kids and fight the uphill battle for rights -then lose, just cow down and accept the fact that there is nothing to be done. Those who have the love in their heart for their children and the desire to keep up the battle are good men.
I DO believe that there is a conspiracy against fathers in custody issues.
I fought for, and WON custody of both of my boys. I receive no child support, but don't care.

As for deadbeat parents in general, I feel that they should be punished harshly and severely. In Colorado, if you are a deadbeat parent, you will lose your drivers license and any state license you have. There are too many kids growing up without the things they need.
soothsayer, you and those like you, who take up the responsibility are honorable people. Too many guys are afraid of "luggage".


Peace,
BG


[Edited on 3-11-2003 by beergoggles]

-Not against Dads,
-Not against Moms,
-Not against Kids.....
It is a conspiracy against families and stability, the system wants you to use it even if you do not want to, so they supposedly have to do what is best for the welfare of the child.
The government thinks it is the only one qualified to raise children.
It's about profits and control in the end.
Lawyers love divorces and custody fights, there is lots of cash to be made for minimal effort,and anything else which goes into the courts.
Cash,Cash,Cash Cash.
Absolutely every facet of the system is set up to keep money rolling in one direction.
Open your eyes, Stop depending on lawyers to do what you can do yourself.

you seem more balanced than your name implies...

I have often made the same remark to uNBaLaNCeD, bigsage.

Men's groups and the men's movement in general in many countries is working to redress some of the systemic issues.

However, the lot of the man who faces the brunt of the system can only be improved by having a decent support network around him.

Lawyers are really the deadbeats. For every "deadbeat dad" (not denying the existence of callous, abusive, untreatable individuals who shouldn't be parents) you will also meet the odd gold-digger, the favored client of divorce lawyers.

Originally posted by soothsayer
And I do agree with something against the father; just look at television commercials.

*In regards to television commercials, I'm still waiting to see the dad do dishes or laundry, or taking care of the child... enough of the "idiot dad" staring dumbly at the washer, or refusing to do dishes and housework; maybe, now that I think about it, is that what I'm supposed to do? Sit around all day?*

I never thought of it that way. These commercials do make dads look like dumb inept idiots.

as I was reading the BBC website today, I came across this article about a man in a Spiderman outfit who has climbed a crane near London's Tower Bridge to protest being limited access to his 3-year-old daughter.

There is a conspiracy against moms in Florida..not getting into it but basically the political area there is VERY corrupt when it comes to DCF and judges and well the whole 9 yards! I would say more here lately fathers are doing reversal roles as more and more stay at home dads are volunteering for that label..

I would say that fathers are or hold an important key in a childs ultimate outlook..I can say this, I never knew what it was like to have one.

First,it should be made perfectly clear,I feel if one person wants a divorce and the other does not,there should not be one if there are children involved,adultery laws are no longer enforced so there is nothing stopping the kid from having a normalish family life.
Second,if you are making kids outside of a marriage or other kind of agreement to provide for them,you are a fool.
Keep your gun in its holster and you feet on the ground.
Stop making kids you can't afford to raise!.

It is not so much a conspiracy against Moms,Dads or kids.
IT IS A CONSPIRACY AGAINST THE STABILITY OF FAMILIES WHICH IS PERPETUATED BY THE LEGAL SYSTEM ITSELF FOR PROFIT!!!.
There are loads of money to be made from allowing all of these divorces.
Is a deadbeat dad really a deadbeat if he can't find a job that can support himself,let alone his obligations to the child?,NO.Yet the jobs keep moving overseas making him/her a criminal for something which is beyond his/her control in some instances.
The legal system is the problem.
The goal is to raise kids without parents.
EXAMPLE: Mothers against drunk drivers(MADD)
And before I even begin let me point out that all the laws in the world will not keep people from being killed by anything.
The person who gets caught has to pay tons of fines.
The Legal System is right there assuming it's vulture stance, revoking licenses and taking fines.
EVEN IF THE DRUNK DRIVER DID NO ONE ANY HARM,EVEN IF HE DID NO DAMAGE TO PROPERTY OR PERSON.
The insurance company vultures circle right along with the legal system vultures, and then the health system circles right there also, to reap profits from the long term effect of alcohol use.
Yet the real problem, alcohol, is still a legal substance which the government makes loads of money off of in taxes and duties....
No matter what you do, you will be turned into profits.
And if you don't do anything,you still have to pay.
Read and learn to understand The Constitution,there is no crime committed by one who does no harm to another or damages property.
SO WHAT THE # IS UP WITH THESE DRUNK DRIVING LAWS?.
I remember way back when, you could get pulled over and if you failed a sobriety test you were told to walk home,or the cop would give you a ride!,now it's even illegal to walk home drunk, did you know public intoxication is an offense in a bar because it's a public place?.
Stupid sheeples simly allow others to make decisions for them without ever thinking about the possible consequences they may pay later.
It is a conspiracy, but all they want is your money.
That's all the legal system is about.
That is the problem.
The problem is created to profit those who write the laws to profit from fines and penalties.
Order out of Chaos.


[Edited on 4-11-2003 by uNBaLaNCeD]

I disagree. Forcing 2 people to stay together just because there are children involved does not benefit the child.

If one or both people involved despise the other or each other, it only makes for a less nuturing & loving environment for everyone involved.

As for drunks in public, they should be penalized. There is always the probability of public endangerment. Better to be safe than sorry.

Originally posted by soothsayer
*In regards to television commercials, I'm still waiting to see the dad do dishes or laundry, or taking care of the child... enough of the "idiot dad" staring dumbly at the washer, or refusing to do dishes and housework; maybe, now that I think about it, is that what I'm supposed to do? Sit around all day?*

A-freakin-men brother. I can say that I pull more than my weight in our household. I do most of the cooking (my wife, god love her, can't boil water), I do laundry (I even separate), and I clean like a loon. As for the baby stuff, I am the one who usually gets up in the middle of the night to check on the squirt and feed him when needed (though now that he is sleeping through the night that is not an issue), I play with him all the time, I feed him as much as my wife does. I play "single dad" alot as well as my wife travels alot with her job. All of this while juggling a full time job and graduate school.
I am driven insane by commercials that show dads as ignorant troglodites who do nothing but work 9-5 then stare blankly at football games on TV and fart, while "super mom" works all day and does all the kid and house stuff. It perpetuates a negative sterotype about men that, though sometimes true, is offensive to alot of people.
What really pisses me off is that when I talk about my home life and someone sarcastically asks "what do YOU do around the house?" and I tell them; they look at me like I'm lying.

OK, I'm done.

[Edited on 6-11-2003 by observer]

Originally posted by soothsayer


*In regards to television commercials, I'm still waiting to see the dad do dishes or laundry, or taking care of the child... enough of the "idiot dad" staring dumbly at the washer, or refusing to do dishes and housework; maybe, now that I think about it, is that what I'm supposed to do? Sit around all day?*

Rock on! Although I have no children yet, my girlfriend and I divide chores up rather informally. I'm just as capable as anyone else is to do laundry, or wash dishes, or vacuum the floors. Following that same logic, I'm perfectly capable of caring for a child as well, although I wouldn't be able to breast feed or anything like that. In several divorce cases around here, the children go to the mother. In several of these cases, the moms are constantly trying to hide their dirty deeds from DHS because they don't want their children taken away, while the father is busy working to cover child support and legal fees while he tries to get custody of his children. I think it's wrong for the children to go to their mother by default. Someone needs to start a campaign about deadbeat MOMS.

This is a very touchy subject for me,,,My parents split when I was four,,and it wasn't pretty. I fanyone is from NJ, USA or even USA,,knows that NJ is so against fathers man! Conspiracy against Dads in NJ is called divorce!!!! Living in what some might call, "Da Hood" I see good fathers get divorced from sumbag Moms and then get the shaft of visitation rights,,,Not only that but some of these Moms shouldnt even be near their kids(Drugs and Alcohol abusers) It varies from state to state here in the US, but NJ is the worst!!! Thats why the motto here is called,,,,"Cheaper to keep her!"

And I do agree with something against the father; just look at television commercials.

Well, there is a conspiracy against men in general, when it comes to advertising... Like making fun of white people, you can make fun of men, and not have to worry about pissing off some group.... So, advertisers now pick on men relentlessly, because they know we don't give a crap, and will simply take it... Sticks and Stones...