Sexual violence; can we make a difference?

In a young girl's life the time that she is most vulnerable to sexual assault is in the first 6 weeks of her college freshman year. That is the disturbing statistic I learned at my daughter's freshman orientation. Since then I have learned even more distrubing facts. According to the US Dept of Justice a woman is beaten every 18 seconds and 78% of all college women will experience sexual assault. Overall, 1 in every 3 women will be raped in her lifetime. However, rape or sexual assault happens to men as well although not in as large percentages as women. Men who are raped or sexually assaulted are just as devestated as women.

There are two major programs designed to promote awareness and to educate all of us to the dangers that women face.

Take Back the Night also known as Reclaim the Night is an international march to protest violence against women. Sometimes it is just women marching to proclaim unity against violence but often men participate as well. Usually it culminates with a candlelight vigil. It started in Europe but has since spread world wide. The ultimate goal is to educate and illuminate the issue of violence against women.

Walk a Mile in her Shoes is a men's march to stop rape and sexual assault against women. It is also designed to educate and promote awareness of sexual violence. It is also to promote healing by allowing victims to talk about their experiences thereby allowing them to verbalize and deal with their pain. During this march men wear high heeled shoes. I feel that this program is effective because it promotes communication about a topic that most feel uncomfortable talking about.

My challenge to all of us; what can we do as individuals and members of communities to speak out against this. Sexual violence is not just a women's issue it is a problem that affects each one of us. Imagine how many women you know and then realize that statistically one in three of them has been a victim of this crime. Many victims can't talk about it so then how can they heal? Also please remember rape is a crime of violence a means to control and degrade the victim not a crime of passion.

So once again; how can we stop this?

Talk with your children, guys and girls alike. I would start in the pre-teen years when kids start to become sexually curious. Let them know what is and isn't acceptable behavior. Talk to them about the power of the word "NO!" If a person says "no," it means no.

Teaching kids that with their emerging sexuality comes responsibility. If you decide to hammer home an abstinence program, remember to tell them that engaging in oral or anal sex still constitutes sex. Forcing a person into having any type of sex is still rape.

Be sure to discuss date rape. Rape by a trusted peer happens more often then by a complete stranger. Tell you kids never to be pressured into having sex against their wills. That still constitutes rape. If a person starts to engage in sex, and then changes their mind, they still have the right to say "no" and that right should be respected.

Also, don't have this discussion one time and figure that it's enough. Have it several times over the course of their young lives.

I suggest getting tough with rapists. The death penalty would be a good start toward "sending a message" and a "wake up call" to the less genteel among us.

That would be a good deal more effective than marching with candles, or holding hands and singing "Kumbaya."

Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
I suggest getting tough with rapists. The death penalty would be a good start toward "sending a message" and a "wake up call" to the less genteel among us.

Sorry, but I have to say it. I have many times thought rapists should be castrated. That way they have to live with the memory of what they did and how wrong it is... Now, that would send a real wake-up call to the less "genital" among us...

Like I said, sorry.

But seriously, I think education and an armed citizenry would do wonders in discouraging and preventing sexual assault. If a rapist thought their victim might blow their brains out or place a deadly blow upon their person, they might think twice about using their power to hurt another human being.

I agree with benevolent heretic.

When I lived alone and went out alot, I was always armed with a .38. I remember one night, at about three in the morning, when I was in a parking lot unloading groceries into my car, there was these two very weird looking guys who kept watching me. I wheeled the shopping cart back to its cage, and these two guys started following me. as they got close, i stopped, stretched, and my jacket was opened so they could get a very clear look at my piece. My hand was very near my holster. They stopped, pretended to change direction to go to the store, and left. I did not have to use violence. Just seeing that I was armed and prepared to use deadly force was enough to make these two guys stop whatever it was they were planning, and change their minds.

Castration seems like a good idea from a revenge perspective, but really, that would do little to stop predatory types. Chemical castration has been used, but there is no resolution so complete as death.

serendip.brynmawr.edu...

www.seacoastonline.com...

I like the Idea of forcing anyone committed of rape or any sexual crime have PINK drivers plates on their cars!!

In Ohio multi DUI have to have yellow tags, and it was debated whether or not one should get a pink one for rape.

The downside is pink plates means your car is a target, people walking by while u park it and they see the pink plates and key your car or someting. Guess you shouldn't rape though!

I wouldn't get to worked up about statistics. I am surprised you did not know that before your college aged daughters orientation?? You probably would have had more concern in highschool then in College.

I agree that talking to your children from a very young age is the first thing to do and to educate that a person has the right to say NO don't touch me. I taught my daughter that from a very young age. I taught her the difference between good touch and bad touch. Bad touching of course, being any touch that made her feel uncomfortable or any area of her body that is covered by a swim suit. I also taught her that it was her body and she had the right to say NO under any circumstance. I have also taught her self-defense and to conduct herself in a self confident manner and it also helps that she carries capstun and knows when and how to use it. In fact she has used it.

I totally agree that rape should carry much harsher penalties and I could support the death penalty in those cases. Washington has just enacted stricter sentencing guidelines for child molesters with the first offense carrying the possiblity of of 25 to life still not harsh enough but it is at least a start.

[edit on 12-8-2006 by gallopinghordes]

Originally posted by GradyPhilpott
Castration seems like a good idea from a revenge perspective

That paragraph was pretty much a joke just to use the 'genteel' phrase. My serious answer was the other paragraph.

I don't support the death penalty, so I couldn't go for that. But as a woman and a feminist, I strongly support women claiming their own power and taking advantage of the great equalizers available to them. If every woman on the earth stood up to the greater physical strength of men and felt competent to protect herself, rape in the free sector (not in prison) would all but disappear.

I agree with the death-penalty. And I believe it should only take one act of rape for the rapist to be sent to death. No second chances, that only gives them a another opportunity to commit the same crime.

The biggest danger to anything meaningful being done to punish rapists is a current trend in criminal justice towards a concept called "restorative justice".

www.restorativejustice.org...

Here are its four key values:
1. Encounter: Create opportunities for victims, offenders and community members who want to do so to meet to discuss the crime and its aftermath
2. Amends: Expect offenders to take steps to repair the harm they have caused
3. Reintegration: Seek to restore victims and offenders to whole, contributing members of society
4. Inclusion: Provide opportunities for parties with a stake in a specific crime to participate in its resolution

If you have heard of cases in Ohio and VT lately where a sex offender has recieved little time in prison, the judges have been advocates of restorative justice. This is basically a feel-good measure. Specifically look at number 2: "expect offenders to take steps to repair the harm they have caused." How about if we try expecting that the behavior isn't done in the first place? How about if we expect society to be protected from them doing it again. And number 3: "Seek to restore victims and offenders to whole, contributing members of society." Restore offenders? To what?! And just how do you make a rape victim "whole"?

So, what should be done? Public flogging and execution. Of course, we will never see the death penalty, nor forced chemical castration as a punishment. What will be done? More and more jurists and policy makers are looking hard at restoritive justice. We have to start fighting that. Quite frankly, the best thing to be done has been done by Florida, where it is much easier for a private citizen to use lethal force. No longer is retreat manditory if you are in your own home. Someone breaks in, they are bought and paid for. While this doesn't adress sexual assault specifically, it does adress the issue that the victim's life and rights are more important than the criminal's. Also, start harrassing your representatives to get on board a manditory minimum senctence for sex offenders.

On a more personal note, I always thought it would be best to leave an offenders genetalia in tact, but cut off the arms and legs. But that's just me.

[edit on 8/13/2006 by hogtie]

"Death penalty" "Castration"

I haven't seen a single person back up mens rights. it has been stated in many reports that women often lay false claims to rape. Guess what happens?

The man is subjected to a gruelling ordeal to prove his innocence. His details are often given to the media and he will be reported on in all local papers- the stigma will never leave him, even if innocent. No smoke without fire.

Perhaps even 1 in 4 rapes actually show the male being innocent, that one person in every four will most likely have that stigma over his head for the rest of his life. Thank God he still has his life and all his bits still attached.

Originally posted by Knights
I haven't seen a single person back up mens rights.

I haven't seen anyone call all men rapists. If they did you might have a point otherwise you're just trying to make it a 'male bashing' issue when it's not. How is trying to protect women from rapists an attack on male rights?

it has been stated in many reports that women often lay false claims to rape. Guess what happens?

Which 'many reports' are these?
Thats strange.. apparently most rapes go unreported:

rape stats
The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.

The man is subjected to a gruelling ordeal to prove his innocence.

It's usually the rape victim that has to prove her innocence.. hence why so little rapes are reported. They usually have to go through gruelling and humiliating cross examination.. not to mention medical examinations etc.
Oh and there's also a little thing called 'innocent until proven guilty'.

His details are often given to the media and he will be reported on in all local papers- the stigma will never leave him, even if innocent. No smoke without fire.

That would depend on the case I guess.. but I'm pretty sure if a man has been proven innocent and newspapers report him as guilty they could be sued for slander.

Perhaps even 1 in 4 rapes actually show the male being innocent, that one person in every four will most likely have that stigma over his head for the rest of his life. Thank God he still has his life and all his bits still attached.

Care to back this up? That could be very missleading if not read properly. I know you've said 'perhaps' but in reality you've just said perhaps "one in four rape victims are liars". That would not only be alot of liars but would make for quite a compelling argument.
Lets have a look:

sa.rochester.edu...
The rate of false reports of rape is approximately 2 - 3% which is no different than that for other crimes. This is different than the 8% of reports which are unfounded. This means that in 8% of the rape cases reported the investigators or prosecutors deemed that the case was not prosecutable for any number of reasons. Only 2 - 3% of the reports however were fabricated stories.

:shk:

[edit on 13-8-2006 by riley]

Originally posted by Knights
I haven't seen a single person back up mens rights.

We're talking about rapists, not men.

Why you'd be defensive of innocent men when punishment of rapists is the subject is interesting.

I'm one of those rare feminists (and rape survivors) who believes that men can be raped, not just by other men, but by women. It's rare, but it happens. It may not involve all the power issues that occur when a man rapes a woman, but taking something that isn't freely given in the sexual way is rape in my book, regardless of the gender.

[edit on 13-8-2006 by Benevolent Heretic]

Originally posted by riley
I haven't seen anyone call all men rapists.

You appear to have misunderstood me. I wasn't for one minute declaring men are being picked on in this post. Rather, if men are accused the general feeling towards them will be negative, hence the "castrate" them, "death sentance" routine being performed.

it has been stated in many reports that women often lay false claims to rape. Guess what happens?

Which reports are these?

To name but afew...

According to a nine-year study conducted by former Purdue sociologist Eugene J. Kanin, in over 40 percent of the cases reviewed, the complainants eventually admitted that no rape had occurred (Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 23, No. 1, 1994). Kanin also studied rape allegations in two large Midwestern universities and found that 50 percent of the allegations were recanted by the accuser.
Kanin found that most of the false accusers were motivated by a need for an alibi or a desire for revenge.

In 1985 the Air Force conducted a study of 556 rape accusations. Over one quarter of the accusers admitted, either just before they took a lie detector test of after they had failed it, that no rape occurred. A further investigation by independent reviewers found that 60 percent of the original rape allegations were false.
The most common reasons the women gave for falsely accusing rape were "spite or revenge," and to compensate for feelings of guilt or shame

A Washington Post investigation of rape reports in seven Virginia and Maryland counties in 1990 and 1991 found that nearly one in four were unfounded. When contacted by the Post, many of the alleged victims admitted that they had lied.
According to a 1996 Department of Justice Report, of the roughly 10,000 sexual assault cases analyzed with DNA evidence over the previous seven years, 2,000 excluded the primary suspect, and another 2,000 were inconclusive.

The man is subjected to a gruelling ordeal to prove his innocence.

Actually.. it's usually the rape victim that has to prove her innocence.. hence why so little rapes are reported. They usually have to go through gruelling and humialating cross examination.. not to mentioned the pelvic examination etc.

Please read a first hand account. It really seems that the woman is victimised in this case:

Falsely accuses university lecturer
www.harrysnews.com...

Oh and there's also a little thing called 'innocent until proven guilty'.

MEN who are falsely accused of rape will not have their identity protected, ministers ruled yesterday.Jim Wallace, the Scottish Justice Minister, said women must have their anonymity granted to encourage them to give evidence. Men, however, were already protected by the justice system and there was no evidence that false accusation was a widespread practice. He was also concerned that it would increase pressure for anonymity to be granted for other types of crime, including murder.

www.telegraph.co.uk.../news/2001/05/31/nsrape31.xml

Care to back this up? That could be very missleading if not read properly and the use if numbers does lend a statement credidibilty. I know you said 'perhaps' but in reality you've just said perhaps "one in four rape victims are liars". That would not only be alot of liars but would make quite compelling argument.

www.foxnews.com...
(although the source is hardly credible).

[edit on 13-8-2006 by Knights]

Death Penalty for rapists? But...

A guy and girl get drunk and have sex, she cries rape the next morning even though he was drunk to. So does he get killed, does she get killed, or do both get killed for raping the other?

Or a girl at a party has half of one to many, a she has sex with a guy who is mostly sober and doesn't know the girl, for all he knows she is always sexual. DId he rape her because they met at a party, she had half of one to many, but the guy didn't know because he just met her. Does he get killed?

Or a woman finds her b/f is cheating on her, cries rape. Even though he didn't, but to be tough, do we kill him?

Sorry, but I hate that a guy and a girl get drunk, yet only she was "raped". Like what? They were both drunk yet only she was raped? How does that work?

Perhaps, we should save the death penalty for aggravated rape. There are actually several different charges for rape, some less heinous than others.

Originally posted by Knights
You appear to have misunderstood me. I wasn't for one minute declaring men are being picked on in this post. Rather, if men are accused the general feeling towards them will be negative, hence the "castrate" them, "death sentance" routine being performed.

If it were that great an issue to men more would be getting falsely accused. BTW.. when people talk about castrating and killing men as punnishment they are talking about guilty men not innocent ones. I do not for a minute condone the minority of women who may've falsey reported rape..but I'm not going to pretend it is as much of a social issue as rape and sexual abuse when it rarely happens in comparison.

According to a nine-year study conducted by former Purdue sociologist Eugene J. Kanin, in over 40 percent of the cases reviewed, the complainants eventually admitted that no rape had occurred (Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 23, No. 1, 1994). Kanin also studied rape allegations in two large Midwestern universities and found that 50 percent of the allegations were recanted by the accuser.
Kanin found that most of the false accusers were motivated by a need for an alibi or a desire for revenge.

A link would'v been helpful.. and why does the 40% contradict the FBIs figures?

In 1985 the Air Force conducted a study of 556 rape accusations. Over one quarter of the accusers admitted, either just before they took a lie detector test of after they had failed it, that no rape occurred. A further investigation by independent reviewers found that 60 percent of the original rape allegations were false.
The most common reasons the women gave for falsely accusing rape were "spite or revenge," and to compensate for feelings of guilt or shame

The air force in 1985.. [incidently a time when making a rape complaint meant that the woman would be crucified for daring to speak out] would be doing studies on their own not on average citizens. The armed forces are also notorious for 'hazings' and coverups.. they have a public image to maintain. I'm wondering.. why aren't their stats reflective of the FBI stats? Another thing.. they handle complaints 'in house'.. 'independent investigations' [very vague] don't have as much objectivity as criminal investigations so I doubt they'd be objective. I'm also wondering.. why would female soldiers [/pilots] risk their careers etc for vengence when female soldiers aren't suppose to have relationships with their comrades? Please post sources that are actually relevent to main populations [ex. FBI].

A Washington Post investigation of rape reports in seven Virginia and Maryland counties in 1990 and 1991 found that nearly one in four were unfounded. When contacted by the Post, many of the alleged victims admitted that they had lied.
According to a 1996 Department of Justice Report, of the roughly 10,000 sexual assault cases analyzed with DNA evidence over the previous seven years, 2,000 excluded the primary suspect, and another 2,000 were inconclusive.

How does a mention of a newspaper article count as evidence? Those reports were supposedly made within a year in two counties.. again.. what was the sample population? For all I know they might have chosen four women and one of them lied [or the reporter may've lied]. IMO that could mean anything.

Please read a first hand account.

I'm sorry.. how does one first hand account compare to the millions of first hand accounts from victims? You could search the net for fifty exaples of false reports but it's not going to make the real ones less legitamate. Again.. I posted the stats before.. your guess of 1 out of 4 women is wrong.

Oh and there's also a little thing called 'innocent until proven guilty'.

MEN who are falsely accused of rape will not have their identity protected, ministers ruled yesterday.Jim Wallace, the Scottish Justice Minister, said women must have their anonymity granted to encourage them to give evidence. Men, however, were already protected by the justice system and there was no evidence that false accusation was a widespread practice. He was also concerned that it would increase pressure for anonymity to be granted for other types of crime, including murder.

www.telegraph.co.uk.../news/2001/05/31/nsrape31.xml

Marked in bold supports my view. I agree that falsely accused men should be protected [not at the victim's expence] but if they are convicted I believe their names should be revealed. Likewise.. if it's proven that a woman has lodged a false complaint she should be charged.
What does that have to do with the topic of increasing awareness of sexual abuse and rape? It's a seperate isue. If you want to raise awareness of the 2% of rape reports that a false.. start a thread on it.

www.foxnews.com...
(although the source is hardly credible).

No it isn't and a newspaper article [blog? ] is not 'evidence'. There are several other official and legitamate sources available that support the figure I gave you though they vary slightly between countries. Why couldn't you use them instead of biased articles, Airforce stats from 25 years ago and blogs? I thank you for going to the effort but stats from civil government sources would be appreciated and more credible.
Again.. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I am saying the number you provided is not only incorrect but not relevent to the topic at hand so will not be responding to your issue again. It's starting to annoy me. Have you got ANY ideas to share on how to better protect people from sexual abuse and [real] rape or do you care more about turning this issue into some sort of anti-male thing by inferring that half of all rape victims are liars? Thats really innapropriate and selfish IMO.. expecially since there would be victims of rape and sexual abuse on this board who genuinely want to change things for the better. I don't mean to sund harsh but If you want to discuss mens/accused rights.. start another thread and show some sensitivity.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
On topic.

What may help:
Less sexual objectification of women and girls in the media.. males are still being taught that sexual conquest/domination is still a measure of success and validation.

Originally posted by gallopinghordes
In a young girl's life the time that she is most vulnerable to sexual assault is in the first 6 weeks of her college freshman year. That is the disturbing statistic I learned at my daughter's freshman orientation. Since then I have learned even more distrubing facts. According to the US Dept of Justice a woman is beaten every 18 seconds and 78% of all college women will experience sexual assault. Overall, 1 in every 3 women will be raped in her lifetime. However, rape or sexual assault happens to men as well although not in as large percentages as women. Men who are raped or sexually assaulted are just as devestated as women.

There are two major programs designed to promote awareness and to educate all of us to the dangers that women face.

Take Back the Night also known as Reclaim the Night is an international march to protest violence against women. Sometimes it is just women marching to proclaim unity against violence but often men participate as well. Usually it culminates with a candlelight vigil. It started in Europe but has since spread world wide. The ultimate goal is to educate and illuminate the issue of violence against women.

Walk a Mile in her Shoes is a men's march to stop rape and sexual assault against women. It is also designed to educate and promote awareness of sexual violence. It is also to promote healing by allowing victims to talk about their experiences thereby allowing them to verbalize and deal with their pain. During this march men wear high heeled shoes. I feel that this program is effective because it promotes communication about a topic that most feel uncomfortable talking about.

My challenge to all of us; what can we do as individuals and members of communities to speak out against this. Sexual violence is not just a women's issue it is a problem that affects each one of us. Imagine how many women you know and then realize that statistically one in three of them has been a victim of this crime. Many victims can't talk about it so then how can they heal? Also please remember rape is a crime of violence a means to control and degrade the victim not a crime of passion.

So once again; how can we stop this?

Sex is a very hard subject to catgorize based on the crimes commited. Complusary acts happen all the time for different reasons. Violent acts should be prosecuded to the fullest. Sex predators should recieve stiffer penalties than say drug dealers simply due to such dispicable acts.

But again sex happens all the time in society at such fast rates with different partners. Sexual predatory acts always become premediated actions almost always. They are so hard to stop before they happen than say a random hit and run or other violent act. The sad thing is its so hard to stop before it happens and the damage caused is phycologly damaging as to make someone completly different for the rest of their lives.

My personal veiw of child molestors is that they have forfitted their right to ever live again in society that they shuold never be allowed to see the light of day again other than from within a gratting of their own cell. No they dont deserve any form of charity ever again. Call it cruel and unusal but Im sorry they simply dont deserve it.