When being good and friendly comes back to haunt you.

So, today, a bailiff rang at my door, informing me I had a speeding ticket that was unpayed, a fine of about 780€, telling me that if I had the choise then to either goto the bank with him to withdraw the cash and hand it over to him or he'd impound some of my possesions to cover the fine.

Next to most of my savings being locked into stock and investment funds, the cash I had on hand, was used to cover some heavy costs for recent replacement purchases for broken computer parts, loans I need to pay of and my wages being late, I got to the bank finding only 500€ in my account.

Its taken me about 3 hours negotiating and giving him something as collateral (my Cannondale mountainbike which is worth 4x what the fine is ..) he was content to wait another week so I could wait for my wages to arive.

The problem is, in reality, I have quite a bit more then those 500€ at hand.

In total I'm owed in excess of 4000$ by a douzen people, friends, family, collegues and 217€ by a store that made me pay an advance on ordered goods, failed to deliver the ordered goods even after 3 months and I told them to cancel the order and return my advance, which they still failed to do after a month. (And all this while they KNOW I'm a police officer ...)

So now, today, I've taken a day of to contact everyone that owes me money to see if they are able to pay me back, up to now, only 2 people are able to and will do the transactions this evening, I can't and won't force the others to pay me back if they can't readely do it, I also went to that store and stood next to them while they did the transaction instead of trusting them on the phone once more.

Anyone else been in the situation where your good and friendly enough to lend people around you money when they need it deerly and then get stuck in a situation where your the one that needs only a small portion of the money you lended out, but can't get it back in the timeframe you really need it?

Well, it all depends on how much and when and for how long.

Like it's very easy to pay someone back $40 in one day, a week after they needed it - but it's very hard to get that $40 back after 2 months, or within 2 days, of when they needed it. The former being because they forget about it, because circumstances have changed, and because they feel it's become more of a "gift" than a "loan". The latter being because they often can't scrap together the cash so soon after needing it.

In the end, it's best to differ to Hamlet "Neither a lender nor a borrow be" - avoid becoming a bank, essentially, because you can't keep track of money, and neither can the people you're lending to.

It's unfortunate, but unless someone feels they really, really owe you - it's hard to get back money from someone after more than a month or so of giving it to them.

TheMatrix,

You know, It's happened to me before.
I've determined that a loan to a friend, is in reality "hush money".
Meaning that once the loan is made, the "friend" disappears for a while, sometimes for a long time, sometimes forever. SO, if I ever want to get someone out of my life, I loan them substantial money!
My wife and I still have a 600 dollar loan outstanding, where we loaned a young lady the money to buy a car for her, and her new baby. That was 2 years ago, and I have seen her once, pregnant again, and walking across the street with her head turned slightly, so that I might not recognize her.


And of course, "no good deed goes unpunished".

I keep very good track of these loans :p
I don't mind lending money, but I make it clear it has to be payed back eventualy. But I'm also very aware of their financial situations and don't go demanding the cash back when I know they can't.

You're a police officer? And you got a speeding ticket???


Man, you must've been haulin'!!!

Lol, its actualy a ticket from years ago which I fought untill recently because the fine and driving ban were a bit harsh, I was told to do so by my superiors.

The speed recorded on it is questionable at best (I was speeding, no argument there) for the location they took my picture and the situation at the time required me to get from point A to B in the fastest time posible, because someone I know that was suicidal cryed out to me. And its on the record that this person has tried to commit suicide before and in 2 instances would have died if noone had come to her aid.

Its just because I'm a cop that the judge showed no leniency(sp?) and was actualy pritty harsh in the time I was banned from driving a car and the fine I had to pay.

But trust me on this, I gladly underwent the driving ban and gladly pay the fine, because what I did had its effect and showed the suicidal person that there was someone who did care about her enough to break all limits to help her, I got to her place in 15 minutes, while normaly it would take at least an hour when you adhere to all speed limits.

It just struck me as a bit bizarre. Here in the US, police adhere to a "professional courtesy" unwritten code where it takes an extremely egregious offense for one officer to ticket another one. It's almost unheard of.

Glad to hear you were able to help her, and no one was hurt in the process.

And in commenting on your original topic, I'll just say it's been my experience that "no good deed goes unpunished".

I know this does not help you right now, but maybe it will in the future:

Never lend anybody money. Give them nothing at all, or give it to them outright, but never lend or loan.

This way there is no expectations after that original transaction. I will never lend money to anybody close to me, it’s a gift or I don’t do it at all. Remember when you are loaning somebody money, they are having difficulty getting it already and those same difficulties may remain for a while (or forever).

People in my office always ask me to go out to lunch. I can’t afford that in my budget so I go home for lunch. They always say “Hey, ill loan you $20 for it, pay me back anytime”. Sounds great right? But I always say no, every time. Why? If I can’t afford it in my budget today, how will I be able to afford it tomorrow on the same budget?

So my advice to you is don’t loan people cash. No exceptions, if it’s family or a very close friend, just give it to them without any expectation of return. If you cannot afford to do that, then you can’t afford to part with the money in the first place.

Well, if its a minor thing and you get pulled over and you explain yourself, the other cop will be more willing to let it go.

But speeding over here is almost purely done trough camera's, both fixed, unmanned and manned. Only when they do sting operations, the manned camera's will have a squad of motorcycles to intercept the heavy offenders a mile down the road.

To be honnest, I'm glad they didn't stop me, because eventhough I'm fairly certain they would have followed me to my destination, the time wasted stopping, getting out, showing papers and identifying, then telling why I'm speeding and why I have to go on asap, would have resulted in the girl in question having hurt herself and maybe would have resulted in me being to late.

So, when you had your picture taken, it goes trough the system almost 100% automaticly and ends up with a judge if the speed was a major offence, because in the past, there was a bit of an abuse of certain elements in the police squad, removing heavy speeding tickets from the system, for a price, they made it imposible to remove tickets without the order comming from high up in the justice system..

The judges are really tough when he sees the offender is a cop.
Thats why I was advised to apeal and tell the reasons for speeding, but I was kinda unlucky to get one of the toughest judges around for the apeals.

Ahh, that explains it. You weren't pulled over, just some camera deal that the judge got hardcore on. Too bad. My personal opinion is that poice officers ought to get a lot of latitude. But you can't do much about a judge on a power trip, here or apparently there.

Too bad.

Here, if you flash a badge when pulled over you're pretty much going to skate, unless it's really really bad. In fact, I can't imagine a situation where one officer would ticket another one for a traffic infraction. Would have to involve at least an accident or some sort of property damage, or the driver being very drunk.