Bush's Feces & Urine are Classified & Top Secret

So, you thought you heard it all?

Well,

According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most.

The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

In the past, similar operations were conducted against foreign leaders to determine their medical condition. However, these intelligence operations were directed against dictators in countries where even the medical conditions of the top political leaders were considered "state secrets."

And also.....

During Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leader's bodily waste for analysis.

More recently, the CIA was reported to have collected waste samples from Ugandan President-dictator Yoweri Museveni's toilet when he visited Washington.

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.

An ounce of prevention, i guess............ When you first see this article it looks like something belonging to BTS...but really, does this scare you just a little?

LINK

This has to be true- you cant make this stuff up.

[edit on 5-7-2006 by dgtempe]

I wonder if it has something do with those anti-depressants he was rumored to be taking a year or so ago? Would explain the paranoia over his royal waste if they are trying to keep a lid on his nerve pills.

It's the funniest thing I EVER heard!! THEY ARE PARANOID. GOOD!

Originally posted by twitchy
I wonder if it has something do with those anti-depressants he was rumored to be taking a year or so ago? Would explain the paranoia over his royal waste if they are trying to keep a lid on his nerve pills.

I tend to agree with you here. Hmmmm....very strange indeed!

DG you rock!

this story is so hillarious i thought it had to be a gag, but to my delight it is completely true.

you know on brianspredictions, he says that the prez is addicted to a certain kind of sleeping pill and that the new york times or something will break the story in 2 months....now, yea this guy is never right and i think he is a complete duche bag, but then again, if i was in the presidents position, i would be under so much stress i probably couldn't sleep either....so not a really hard prediction to make.


but anyways, is this something that is unique to this president or have any other presidents had this done as well?

what do they do if he goes number 2 at a restraunt though? i would hate to be the person that had to go fishing for that


Cherrio!
Digitalgrl

[edit on 10/01/2004 by DigitalGrl]

Digitalgirl,

I'm sure he has a van parked outside with a porta toilet standing by....

What a crappy nuisance!!!! We're on BTS now- even though this is a true story...

Oh well,

Seriously, if word gets out that he's on substances, just think!!!!

Food tester...... I guess he's well aware he's not safe....Dont kings have their food tested and tasted just in case?

See? I knew he fancied himself "THE KING"

I wonder how long the security people keep it once it has been recovered and flown back to the states. I wonder if the Vice president and Condi have the same kind of facility.

Maybe it could be bronzed and sold as mementos; like the cowpies you sometimes see in the funkier old west shops along rt66.

dg, you never fail to surprise me with your insightful and topical posts!
I think we can all sleep a bit easier tonite, knowing the Presidents effluent is safe and sound.

[edit on 6-7-2006 by whaaa]

Thank you Whaaaa, but all the credit goes to our president! If things were 'normal' there wouldnt be much around to amuse ourselves.

HAHA!! The presidents turds and piss are so highly classified, they have to be shipped to the S-4 base for reverse engineering! Or maybe pres Bush is a cyborg and poops naquida! High quality naquida cant be wasted! RE-ASSIMILATE!!!

Reminds me of the teams of doctors who used to examine royal waste as a matter of course in the daily life of a monarch.

Or maybe they're worried about evidence of drunkenness or worse yet, coc aine use?

Or for the conspiracists, evidence of mind-control substances?

Just glad I'm not on that duty, we all get more than enough of his sh*t without having to ..., Euuuwwwhhh.

I don't even know what to say about this!

Why spend so much energy (and draw attention to yourself doing so) hiding something unless you have something to hide...or you're just flat out insane?