(DD) NrKy&Renmei- What am I in this life?

To my beloved Diary, Renmei,
It's the 25th of June, but a fortnight to the date counting the mark of the beast, the date of 6-6-06. Existence has been flashing by me at an ever-increasing pace, and I feel as though I will lose touch with reality soon.
I've come to meet souls who believe that I was a samurai in a previous life, and others who see me as a druid in another, but none to give purpose to the existence that I currently endure. Being a high templar in the order of light may be great for the existence of a higher plane, but what does that get me in this life? Proclaiming open-mindedness and the awareness of higher planes of existence serves no purpose but to distract me from the contemplation of this realm, or does it? If I meditate on the purpose of this reality, in this current form, will it give me a greater understanding of the worlds beyond this?
Renmei, guide me to the path that will open my eyes to the truth! How much longer must I endure the ignorance of the contemplation of things unseen and unknown in rejection of what's in plain sight? Must I reject my destiny in this existence in order to make sense of what's come before, and what's yet to come? Renmei, if the illusion of time being linear is the greatest lie in this world, how can I see beyond the facade of causality? If I choose to live in my previous lives, and strive towards future events, at which point will it begin to make a difference in my current existential bubble? Renmei, when will I wake up?
Goodnight my beloved, I pray that you will bestow upon me the guidance of eternal wisdom, benevolence, and compassion.


My beloved Renmei,
'Tis now four days and counting 'til the prophecised day of judgement, the date of 666. Will superstitious beliefs and god-fearing souls dominate your collective consciousness, or will you allow us the wisdom to see the err of our ways? Are you testing us with the formalities of an existence that we can nought but comprehend the smallest fraction of? Is it wisdom to know that we have much to learn, or simply recognised and accepted ignorance?
Renmei, your peers have guided me to the belief that I was a samurai and a druid in previous lives, but why hath thou forsaken me with the lack of wisdom to choose my own destiny? Your Delphic Oracle of old Greece proported the phrase 'Gnothi se auton' (Know Thyself) at the Temple of Apollo, to grace all those who recognised it's presence with the wisdom to see beyond their ego into their own souls, but what signs have you given me to allow me the same?
In my seclusion from this societal existence and reality, am I denying the fate that I've allowed myself, or am I simply getting to know myself? Does wisdom preclude objective manipulation of my own fate without clouding my judgement? In wanting to 'free my mind', am I choosing to reject the fate bestowed upon me by experiential wisdom and interpretation?
My dear Renmei, if you've assigned cats to be my eternal guardians, what do you believe it will accomplish? These feline beings that have heralded change in my world, are a gateway to the world unseen, but are they beneficial to my existence in this world? You've given me a way to see beyond this world, but why have you not given me a blue pill to bring me back into it? Does my being a higher being of the society of light responsible for the world during the time of Pisces, mean that in the age of Aquarius, I will have no use? Are not the arbiters of the change from one world into the next, merely pawns in the cycle of change? Who's to say that my judgement upon this world is nothing but the ramblings of a lost soul clinging onto that which he sees as becoming further and further away from his grasp?
Renmei, my dear Renmei, if your desire is to see me take control of my life and be mindful of the difference of change from one world to the next, I can promise you that, but I cannot promise that you will like the results. I had previously skipped my mortal adolescence in favour of experiencing that which I had been in previous lives, and had recently undergone an experiential adolescence in order to be able to justify my becoming a being of both this world, and the next.

Renmei, do I now become something that I was not in previous lives, and achieve greatness, or must I forever live in the shadow of my previous lives? Have they given me the wisdom to move forward in this world while staying mindful of the endless possibilities of an existence about to suddenly change? **YES!!**


Dear Diary, date: IN AETURNUM
Wisdom, courage, mindfulness, compassion... all components of a being of light, now incarnate in this form, that of NrKy, of Alexander the Great, and of the advocate of change. You are me, and I am you, we are eternal, self-guiding and no longer acquiescent.

COGITO ERGO SUM!
CARPE DIEM!
VENI, VIDI, VICI!
VERITAS VOS LIBERABIT!

[edit on 1/6/2006 by nrky]

Sorry to those of you who were expecting a short light read.

Please accept this submission for the Dear Diary competition, I've put alot of thought into this, and I believe that it truthfully reflects the thoughts dominating my life as of late.

Please feel free to criticise this piece, or even simply acknowledge that you've read it, so that I can know if I've done something great.

Love and Peace, NrKy.

this was very interesting read to say the least nrky but I can totally relate to your self questioning in the form of a diary entry. I tend to ask more questions in my diary than fully documenting an event. For me most events spark many questions and while I may not have the same thoughts as you I found it to be a well written entry.

spelling, grammar, and flow were all good.