Serious Question

Ok guys/gals I got a serious question. All responses would be a great deal of help to me.

Heres the situation. I was with a girl 12 years, had a child with her 4 years ago and happened to be working a full time job making approx. 45k a year doing cad/cam programming. Well I one day realized this wasnt what I wanted to do with my life, so I told her I wanted to go back to school; consequently, she wanted no part of me if I went back to school and quit my job. We lived on our own and were fairly well off with both of our incomes. But I decided it was important to me to go back to school.

Well I quit my job, me and the girlfriend chose to go seperate ways(it was more than the school issue), I moved back in with my parents(I'm 25 in case your wondering) and I started my 1st semester of college back in August. So now I am employed in a sh** job, in school and living with my parents.

I recently took a night time job working 6 hours each night, but it has affected my studying and am thinking about quitting the job. Now the problem I am having is I do not have alot of cash saved up, I have to support my daughter and would eventually like to move out on my own again.

The problem is I have school full time (20 credits) m-f until 4pm. I usually come home and study for 15 minutes before I have to go to work. Work has severly affected my ability to study and takes away the time I have with my daughter. My parents are very supportive and have no problem helping me out if I don't work, but I dont like to have to rely on them for such stuff.

I am still absolutely lost on what I want to do as a career, but having a degree is of the utmost importance to me. Ive bounced around from wanting to go to med school eventually or to advance into law school. Theres so many things I enjoy so its very hard to decide.

I guess what I am asking is should I quit the job if it is affecting my school work?



Hope this makes sense. Hard to explain over the computer.

[Edited on 16-10-2003 by Dreamz]

Your taking 20 credits this fall semester??

WTF, that is unheard of.

Chinese - 4 credits
Spanish - 4 credits
Computer arts - 3 credits
English Lit. - 3 credits
College Algebra - 3 credits
American Politics Today - 3 credits

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm your story reminds me of a time long ago about your age when i took my exwife to court and won custody on my lil girl and i was working full time going to college part-time............no one really knows how hard it is to be a single parent going to school and working and paying for daycare and all the things that go with children until you have to do them......my advice i would at least think about it till the end of the semester and see what the new year might bring.

Wait a second. You're 25 now. You've been with this woman for 12 years. You met her when you were 13. And you had a kid when you were 21?

I would quit your job and study up. Maximize what your doing piece by piece to save time later. Esp. if your parents will pay. Look at the economy now and pick a job that's not being shipped off overseas. Good luck.

Originally posted by thehippiedude
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm your story reminds me of a time long ago about your age when i took my exwife to court and won custody on my lil girl and i was working full time going to college part-time............no one really knows how hard it is to be a single parent going to school and working and paying for daycare and all the things that go with children until you have to do them......my advice i would at least think about it till the end of the semester and see what the new year might bring.

Its very difficult, me and my ex get along good enough so we help eachother out. I take my daughter to daycare before school everyday and pick her up every day and then have her on a 50-50 rotating schedule overnight. The way it has been lately has been crazy though.....

M - ALL DAY
T- ALL DAY
W - Her mom picks her up at 5pm
T- Gets dropped off at 7am and picked up by me after day care and stays with me til 5pm again.
F- Mine from 7 am until Monday at 5 pm.

I got lucky in that financial aid has paid for all her day care and my schooling and she will be starting K4 next semester. So that saves me about 2k.

Originally posted by ktprktpr
Wait a second. You're 25 now. You've been with this woman for 12 years. You met her when you were 13. And you had a kid when you were 21?

I would quit your job and study up. Maximize what your doing piece by piece to save time later. Esp. if your parents will pay. Look at the economy now and pick a job that's not being shipped off overseas. Good luck.

Yep, I met her when I was 13.

I suggest quitting your job and letting your parents help you financially.

What's more important to you? Staying independant, while not getting to see your daughter, and possibly flunking out of school because you never get to study.

or

Seeing your daughter, and getting to study as much as you need.

I had a similar yet, different problem. School itself was interfering with my studying. I was a philosophy student for quite some time. Shortly after getting my associates degree, I dropped out. Most of the school work was pointless. I wanted to study locical thought and the processes thereof. Not a meditation on the truth behind my senses. Once I quit school I was free to study and deduce for myself. I became a chef and, now I write comic books. For me, all my dreams came true because, I gave up school.

What I'm trying to tell you is, you have to descide for yourself. Your life has different variables than anyone elses. You're the one who knows best. Good luck.

Well thats cool best wishes to you in your endeavors and yeah financial aid is the way to go if you can get it!!

I would certainly say take advantage of the freedoms your situation has afforded you.
Your parents are there to help. STAY IN SCHOOL!
These times may seem tough for you but in the end you will see that it will pay off for you and your child. 25 is young to have a family and be a single parent.
Much responsibility.
Use the resources that have been given to you.




Mark

......If you don't already know what exactly you are expending it on.
Finish the semester out,drop any course that will drive your GPA down in the end.
Start the next semester with a lower point load,leave yourself time to think about what it is you really want to do with your life,otherwise you will find yourself wasting time ,effort and money on things you don't need.
They don't want po'boys in the legal and medical fields,that is why it is so hard to succeed in them,maybe you should try for something that is easier to get.
Don't waste a lot of effort worrying about getting a job that will impress anyone,you have to live your life,don't live it doing some fake dance that makes you feel like a clown,it makes no difference.
You have a child,you gave up a lot of your freedom when this occurred.
You may want to consider putting school on hold until the child is raised,you're young.
The child is responsibility #1.
Reality sucks
Accept it and find a way to change it,and share what you learn with those who may see you as an example.

I guess I'll weigh in on this since what I do for a living is act as an Academic Counselor at a large-ish University. I would have to say that you need to consider some options.

Stay working and going to school: result would be to have little time to study and even less time with your daughter. Ultimately not a good option because of several things, one, your responsiblity to be a parent (and spend time with the little one) needs to be priority number one and secondly, if you really want to go for an advanced degree (i.e. Med school, Law school or some other grad program) your GPA needs to be high for any school to even consider you, hence you need lots of time to study.
My opinion is to not work, you have enough on your plate and school and fatherhood are more important than a little pocket money (you can't be making THAT much as a part time guy in a # job, right?)

My advice would be to check with your financial aid office to see about getting Federal grants, as a single father whose parents do not claim you on taxes, you should be eligible for significant funds. If you are really deadset against your parents helping you out (take the help) you can get student loans that can help you make ends meet. Loans are low interest and repayment must begin 6 months after graduation unless you go on to a graduate program, then they can be deferred.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions feel free to U2U me and I'll help you out in any way I can.



[Edited on 17-10-2003 by observer]

Since you're looking for advice...I won't sugar coat it...

1. Take ANY help at all that's offered.
2. Go back to work. It's obvious you can make pretty decent money with your skills...and there are usually some contractual, part time opportunities in that line of work...
3. Go to school part time...a full load like that can be inundating...especially taking two languages at one time... Use the heck out of at home computer courses, etc. to get your basic degree, then go for whatever you want...

Good luck in any decision you make...

May I suggest joining ROTC and recieving a scholarship? They will pay for your college and you have a guaranteed job after...

Na Zdrowie!

[Edited on 17-10-2003 by PolskieWojsko]

Who the hell advised you to take 20 hours in your first semester??? I took 17 my first semester, but I'm super-human...HA!

Hey, you dove in too deep. Try to get to some shallow water, okay? You don't have to get it all done in one year!

Talk to your parents and find out if you can ditch the job for this semester, OR drop down to a reasonable number of hours.

I guess what I am asking is should I quit the job if it is affecting my school work?

The Spanish and Chinese languages operate on a different syntactic structure with unusual phonemes if you haven't been exposed to these languages at an early age. You are going to overload your learning potential simply by doubling up on these languages. My advice is to drop one of them (Spanish will likely be easier for you to learn if you were born & raised in the West, with non-Chinese parents).

You can always take the other language later on, the key now is survival. And don't be afraid to teach your child the pronunciations of the new language as you learn them, these kinds of things usually help in the long-run.

Also, if you parents are willing to help, tell them your current conflict about this job and see what they say!