Nygdan -
No, it wasn't sensible, it was a reward.
My son started having emotional problems about three years ago when I got really sick, was spending alot of time in the hospital and he overheard my
wife and my MIL talking that the docs didn't know if I was going to live or not. He shut down at home and at school.
We dealt with it the best we could the first year (1st grade) with me actually going to school part of the day with him to force him to participate in
the work at school instead of sitting and playing with erasers all day. By the end of the year, he was starting to snap out of it. His grades were
improving and his participation was up.
His personal goal was to get on the A-B honor roll, so we asked him what reward he wanted if he made it onto the honor roll. He said, "Mohawk." We
pooh-pooh'ed the idea of a mohawk as I am relatively straight laced and the wife is too. None of his friends have had a mohawk, he doesn't watch
the type of tv where he would see people with mohawks, so we didn't know where he got the idea and thought he would drop it relatively soon.
2nd grade year, he struggled and got his grades up to A's, B's and C's, but he couldn't seem to make the honor roll. We received his last grade
card after he was out of school. A's and B's. He made the honor roll.
We asked him again, "what do you want as your reward?"
"Mohawk." After a year and a half, he still wanted the same thing.
So, at the beginning of this school year (3rd grade), we took him and got him what he wanted. We didn't do it specifically to coincide with the
school year, but things weren't very good with my health that spring or summer so it was one of the things that got pushed back for a while.
Originally posted by Nygdan
Kids aren't just mindless things that parents dress, sure enough, but they don't fret and worry about social representation and having designer
brands or about getting mohawks, and if the school tells them to cut it, they don't reflect upon the relative values of social rights and personal
responsibilities, nor about the need to express one's self, even through a hairstyle, in order to make a personal statement about
non-conformity.
No, he doesn't reflect about social rights and personal responsibilities. He thought it was a fun haircut, something different than he has ever had
before. And it isn't about non-conformity. It was what he wanted as a reward for working his bottom off to get what he set as a goal - to be on the
A-B honor roll.
With your statement about "designer brands" and such, either your school is very different or you don't have children in school. Money informally
denotes "who" a person is here because most people don't have any in this area. My son is the one that points out the three or four kids in his
class of 19 that have the money and come to school bragging about how many new video games his mom or dad bought for him the day before. He points
out how many new shirts or types of shirts that the kid brags about on the playground. He sees these same kids on the balldiamond with the new glove,
the new bat, the new gloves, the new helmet, the new cleats and then he asks me why I can't do the same for him.
But that is okay. It gives me an opportunity to explain to him that we don't have to have the newest, the best, the most expensive to be the person
that we really are deep inside. A pair of Nike's won't make him any different than a pair of Ked's will, but that extra $40 that I saved on the
Keds can go toward a field trip or clothes as he grows or just he and I doing something special.
He notices social things. He is aware of it. He understands (and oft forgets) that it is okay not to have the biggest and the best.
Our particular school does not have a policy in place like the school in Dallas does for their dress code. Yes, my wife took him and got him that
particular haircut as a reward. It was not inflicted upon him, and it was a one-time thing. He loved the haircut while he had it, but when it grew
out enough that we had to shave it again or cut his hair all the same length, we cut it all the same length. He looks back on it with fondness, but
he hasn't asked for another mohawk.
Cheers,
JDub