Contact With A Dead Relative

This is a very hard subject for me to touch on but I would like to share this story in hopes of obtaining a better understanding of what has happened and what it all means. I will start from the beginning in order to share the complete story. To give you an idea about myself, I am a 29 year old male, educated and grounded for the most part. I personally have always had difficulty in believing in God and although I was raised in a Baptist church, I never put much stock into it and always considered myself to be agnostic as opposed to an atheist.

One day this past August I had a discussion with a couple of co-workers while taking a break. It was about religion and God, Jesus, the whole Christian topic. One of the guys that was involved in the discussion was a born again type and very adamant about his beliefs, and many times before he had "preeched" to me about God and his views on being saved etc, which irritated me to a degree. But especially on this particular day, as I was having a bad day and not in a great mood to listen.

After an hour or so of debating back and forth, seeing obviously that my statements against his beliefs were not getting through, again this annoyed me a great deal. After reaching the end of my rope, I very nastily told him that God is a myth, religion is a lie, there is no God, and if there is he is a hateful vengeful God and I told him very angrily that he was a sucker, and a sheep and that with so much evil in the world the concept of God was a joke. He was definately offended, but suprisingly did not counter in an angry way. Instead he told me that one day something in my life would happen that would show me the way and that I would be in shock when it happened. So naturally I blew him off as a "jesus nut" and went about my day.

On my way home from work (I have a 45 minute drive one way) I thought about my conversation and one recurring theme kept popping into my mind over and over. I kept thinking If there really was a God, how comforting that would be. What a great conforting idea to believe that someone was in charge of this madness - that God was really there and there was no need to worry. How much easier life would be if that were true. And the other thing I kept thinking, and even said aloud was "I just need a sign...please God..I want to believe but I can't unless I KNOW for sure. Please give me a sign."

I got home, changed out of my work clothes and sat down. I was there for about ten minutes when my phone rang, and the voice on the other end was my dads neighbor - who was calling to tell me that she had found my dad dead, sitting at his kitchen table, and that we needed to come so that the coroner could take his body away. Needless to say I was floored. I couldn't believe it. The first thing I thought of was the conversation I had at work..the hateful things I said towards God, and the fact that I felt..and I know it sounds crazy.but I felt like I had somehow killed my father. That God had punished me in the ultimate way for my arrogance. I found out later on that the estimated time of death was at 4:05 in the afternoon, which I estimated to be the same exact time I had blasphemed against Gods name. I was torn up for days. I couldn't tell anyone what had happened, especially my brother or sister because I knew it would all upset them greatly. I carried such guilt for months.

I had a hard time dealing with the grief and guilt of this for months. Then this past week, I had a dream that was so vivid and so crystal clear and so real that it changed my life. I have dreams sometimes, but always murky and hard to recollect. This time I dreamed that I was sitting in a field underneath a tree by myself. I looked out and a man was walking towards me. When he got close I realized that it was my dad. He looked great., radiating and he had a huge smile on my face. He came up and sat beside me and I will never forget, all he said was "It's ok. It wasn't your fault. I love you Bud, which is what he always called me since I was a kid. He hugged me and it was so powerful that I didn't want to let him go. Then finally he said "see ya" and he walked back out into the field and was gone. If you knew me, you would understand that I am a big guy, very manly type, tough exterior, and I dont get emotional about anything. But when I woke up in my bed I was already sobbing, uncontrollably, those deep sobs like a child. And I couldn't stop for almost a half hour.

I am convinced that my father came to say goodbye to me. It was so real I can't see any other explanation. I know all of this sounds crazy, but I had to sahre this with others as I have been unable to muster the courage to tell my family or friends about it for fear of sounding like a nutcase. I swear that everything in this post is the truth and I just need some advice as to what this all was or if anyone else out there has ever had an experience similar to this. If it makes any difference, I do believe in God and the afterlife now. Maybe not the Christian version exactly, but I know there is more to this life that we know. Thanks.

[edit on 3-3-2006 by DiabolicEdict]

[edit on 3-3-2006 by DiabolicEdict]

I am very happy for you, that you have come to this realisation. In my opinion, your interpretation of these events is spot on. I have seen my grandfather a couple of times in dreams recently and know the sensation you speak of. I just remember hugging him, and being so happy top see him. I don't think I ever actually hugged him while he was alive, well not with the same intensity at least, anyway.

The feeling of comfort knowing someone is out there looking after us, and the sheer emptiness and isolation of feeling that you are at odds with God aspects that I can easily relate to also. Good post, and congratulations on your new found realisations.

Sorry about your loss. I just wanted to say that I have had one of those crystal clear dreams too. I dream a lot and it was unlike anything before it or after. There were several people in it I didn't recognize but, one in particular seemed to know me. He had a question and a message for me. It's something I'll never forget. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I know what you're talking about. One more thing, it was also the most peaceful I've ever felt awake or asleep.

That is an incredible story and Im sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like quite an experience. I have had some intense dreams before, never saw any passed relatives or anything like that, but very real ones where I woke up in a blind panic and was very happy that I had been dreaming. Good luck mate, glad to see you found and made peace with God as you know him thats what matters the most. Best of luck.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

If we open our minds and hearts those who have passed over do and will come to us. Often they come to us when times are most troubled such as your experience. Treasure this and always remember we are not and are never alone your father will always be with you.

I have had a number of experiences far too many to tell of here. These contacts have helped me to cope with loss and to believe that those we love never leave us.

Quite an experience. And let me state that I do believe it is quite possible your father came to say good-bye and ease your conscious.

But...some would say it was a dream sent by your subconscious to dispel your guilt; sort of a self-heeling technique used by the mind to get you through a hard time: It told you what you needed to hear to get past the turmoil and carry on.

Amazing, either way, if you think about it.

hi, that was an amazing story but i have one question, what was the cause of the death?

you don't have to anwer if you don't want to